retired_w0lfpack1

"That's some measure of revenge for W!" - League or friendly win following a key Cup defeat.

"This is the rubber match between these two teams." - Third encounter of season due to Cup influence

"What a dream debut for X!" - Second goal on his debut

"What an incredible match!" - Exceptionally high scoring from both sides, e.g., 5-3, 4-4, 4-3, etc.

Fan behavior:

"The fans are singing his name!" - Fan favourite having a blinder

"Oh dear, oh dear. Now the fans have started up with 'Are you W in disguise?'" - Home fans jeering a defeated visitor in 2nd half of a rout

"The fans are jeering his every decision now." - Home fans jeering a referee after a couple questionable calls have gone against the home side, esp. red and/or penalty

"Incredible atmosphere around the ground today!" - Critical match, e.g., late Cup round, big first-v-second league encounter

"A wall of sound greets the two teams." - Same/similar

"A capacity crowd on hand to see their heroes." - During first half, before attendance announced, when it is within 100 of capacity.

"And this is it, the biggest of stages!" - At or right before kickoff for F.A. Cup Final, C.L. Final, W.C. Final.

retired_gymmaniac

''GOAL!! And it seems Joe Hart was too busy dealing with balloons to deal with that one!''

:p

retired_w0lfpack1

Explanation of missed chances:

"It just didn't settle for him!"

"It took a bad hop as he tried to connect!"

"He scuffed that shot."

"He didn't get as much on that as he'd have liked to."

"He slipped as he shot." - Balance

"The ball ran away from him just a bit, enough to put him off." - Uncontrolled dribble

"The ball stuck a bit in the mud, just enough to put him off." - Weather

"Oh, he really rushed that." - Composure

"Surely he was fouled ... No?" - Uncalled foul that put him off his shot.

"X had a handful of his jersey .. No foul, though, and Y is rightly aggrieved." - Uncalled shirt tug that put him off his shot.

"He was sliding in at the back post, and just couldn't quite control it." - Explaining what looked like a tap-in but was, in fact, much more challenging.

"Oh! Surely he didn't need to hit it that hard! All power, no control." - Poor decision when he really needed a placed shot, not a powerful shot.

Explaining the goalkeeper's actions better:

"Tremendous diving stop!" - When the 'dot' flies across the goalmouth

"Unlucky X never saw it." - Obscured vision

"X never moved, he must have thought it going over/wide." - Poor Decision/Anticipation

"X was still prone from the first stop, and never had a chance."

"X came out to catch, and it just carried over him." - Poor Decision / coming out.

retired_w0lfpack1

From today's Lyon-United match live text commentary:

"Ooh, Govou has had a shocker there! The ball was rolled across for him by Squillaci and he missed the ball entirely with his right, then promptly fell over."

"My word! Ferdinand swings wildly at a cross from Toulalan and it dribbles narrowly wide!"

Obviously copyright the author, but I think they show the sorts of things we might see as "My guy just can't score" and turn them into understandable things - a failed Balance check in the first, a tough maneuver and/or failed Composure check in the second.

Similarly, contextual things like:

"Rooney, of course, is up against the hapless Jean Alain Boumsong, who had a season long nightmare at Newcastle United you may recall. If you don't, then imagine Titus Bramble. But ten times worse."



Made me laugh. The second and third sentences might be a bit tough to do, but mention of one disappointing season seems like it should be do-able.

retired_w0lfpack1

Also, commentary like (from Arsenal - Milan)

"Another long ball up towards Pato is headed away. He's not the tallest, so that seems an odd tactic."

Obviously critical of the manager, but it might be very good to help us see where we're going wrong..

retired_charytine

I found that rather amusing.

Dav1d

Quote a talent to listen to both sets of commentry

retired_Cliffc

Quote a talent to listen to both sets of commentry </BLOCKQUOTE>

Less difficult when it's text commentary though

retired_w0lfpack1

Yeah, two text windows scrolling by wasn't a problem.

retired_Cliffc

Oh, and to keep it on topic:

Two imaginary comentary lines that passed through my mind while playing tonight.

Danny Miller gives the Rangers fans a taste of what to expect next summer As he scores against the club he has a £4m transfer to arranged for the end of the season.

David Robbins scores with his first touch of the game. After coming on as a half time sub and, erm, scoring with his first touch of the game.