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I've been trying out different tactics with different teams, and seen a lot of great posts about how the match machine works and sliders and theories, and ect... So, I decided to join the race into descovering something new. I've based the tactic similar to the tactic that the Danish National team used and won the European Championship Cup final in Gothenburg against mighty Germany in 1992. So here goes....
Mentality & Creative freedom: Keep these both on lowest (1 on the sliders). This ensures the players will stick diehardingly to the assignments I eventually will give them and not do something "Out of the ordinary". These are the "Don't you dare move" and the "I don't pay you to think" theories.
Passing: Max on the slider - Long Ball (20). But this is due to the fact that I have a very poor-quality side (probably the poorest in the world). I still do know how these circus-clowns ever found their way into the EPL, after the first game I thought that we had been recently promoted from the Conference League due to some technicality. So imagine the shock when I found out that they've been player in the EPL for years!
Tempo: Max on the slider Quick (20). Let's get this game flying....
Width: Narrow (1). This is due to the "You must sit down to wee otherwise you'll miss the tiolet" theory.
Closing Down: Lowest on the slider (1). You might be wondering about this, but it all has to do with the "Park the bus" ploy which I will enforce later in the tactics. I get as many players behind the ball as I can to block the opponents view of my goal.
Time-Wasting: Go for max(20). Maybe this way you can make your opponents fall asleep, because they've been aparently using this weapon on my players (Time to get even).
Deffensive-Line: Bring this down to the lowest(1). This ensures that once the players hit the goal line they'll stay in that general region. And remembering the "Park the bus" ploy.
Tackling: Easy. Have no need for red cards because of small squad, lack of quality players, ect...
Now to the formation: That's what good about the formation, you can employ any formation just make sure all your players have Barrows towards your own Gaolkeeper. This will get them to "Park the bus".
Use of Target Man: This time I'm going with the Goalkeeper. "Why him?" you say, "Why not?" I say. Denmark did this with great success with Peter Schmieckel pulling off the famous 2-0 victory over zee Germans in the final. Had a world record in back passes (all successful I might add) and won. Apart from that in my Keepers deffense, he's been a jack-in-the-box in a freak show and not once did he lose his nerve. Even when the entire Deffense went out on a drinking binge the night before the most important game of the season, not one complaint. That shows he can handle this task, though it might take him time to gel.... Remember to click the Use Target Man option.
Focus Passing: Through the middle. I have many tactics with Mixed and Down Both Flanks, so in this tactic I'm going for the surprise element.
Target Man Supply: To Head. After a while you start to apreciate the way he bounces them balls off of 'is 'ead. If the opposition has slow deffenders then you could always try the Run On To Ball option, but never use the To Feet option because that's just plain stupid....
Other good hints & tips:
Have all your out-field players crossing to Target Man so he really gets into the middle of all the action. Also if you want to play a more possesion style, make your Target Man ALSO the Playmaker.
Have all your players on Rarely instructions, this came to mind when I found out that farmers have to bring in their geese when it rains, because the geese throw their heads back with beek open to drink and end up drowning. Also to remind them I'm serious about the theories I mentioned in the Mentality & Creative Freedom part.
Hold Up On Ball: Give this to your Target Man if you want more posseion.
Have all your players swapping positions to drag the opposition out of possition. Seen many bottom teams have great success with this when playing 4-2-4 all out attack!
Training: None. This ensures almost no injuries, although some of them did get injured whilst shaving.
Opposition players you always must watch out for when playing agaist, especially if you are managing one of the Top clubs in the world:
Rob Ernshaw: Even though just coming back from 9 months injury (came on to the pitch still on crutches) made Rio F look like a muppet from Sesamy Street.
Rob Hulse: Especially if he hasen't scored all season because now he's really fired up, and trust me... he will score against you.
Now there are many more players I can mention, but let's just go for the Opposition Instructions before the match. Give Rio Always Tight Marking, Always Close Down, Hard Tackling, and Show on to Weaker Foot. If everything goes after plan then you should be able to limit the scoring of these types of players to a couple of goals, and even if they do then Rio's just having a bad day, so just Sympathise with him after the match, then there's a good chance he'll wake up in the morning felling all rosy inside....
Thought of this whilst shaving and listening to "Great balls on fire"..... Have fun and Merry Christmas all.....
Could have used a better thread title, you set youraself up for some stick
Interesting setting mentality and creative freedom to 1, when you do this normally you find a player sometimes looks lost on the ball and doesn't know what to do with it. DOn't you find this?
Also you use 20 tempo through out a game? your players will tire very easily and be prone to more injuries due to the physical demands of the tactics. How you cope with this?
Of course its a p*ss tak! No training, barrows to all, the whole Denmark thing!? Throw in the shaving injuries and pycologically challenged philosophies and we have a horror/comedy, depending on whether you just read it, or actually watch your favourite team playing it.
A tactic that tops them all... 
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