Alternative Post...
I ousted [Wasim Acrim] from his post as manager of new Premier League team Birmingham City. I sent [Edrives Fastcars] to scout La Liga where he came up with Real Madrid stars [Mohammed Hasabiggun], [Areal Matherfarker] and [Coppedone Indenads]. I signed [Mathherfarker] for £20m then realised it's all a dream and it's out tomorrow...
[This message was in no way edited by Nobby_McDonald at 20:13 on February 27 2003].

!!!
(Note - If anyone has ever heard of Australian impersonator Twelth Man, you'll know where those names are from).