retired_kris10nicole

You've obviously not seen any of my 01/02 updates then!

retired_florentino

Quickest update I've ever done (until I finish this season anyway :p).

Chester City are in administration, my job status is insecure and my star striker is only just coming back from a four month groin injury!

The joys of LLM!

retired_mdibrell

Chester were automatic promotions in my save season 2. KUTGW

retired_florentino

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by alkinear:
Chester were automatic promotions in my save season 2. KUTGW<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

To be fair - I think I would have had a lot more success without the morale destroying fighting that's been going on with the squad after I officially warned a striker (the squad reaction was amazing). Most of the original squad (including all of the experienced players) have left Chester, with the last of the original rebels leaving this summer on a free transfer (contract expiry).

Hopefully as the squad matures I will be able to string some consistant results together. (Average squad age is 21 or something like that!)

retired_florentino

Season 04/05 Report

All in all - a mixed season, temporarily disrupted by the necessity to go away over the weekend

Board expectations were for us to challenge for the championship this season, and I have to say that I honestly expected us to go for it this season.

Unfortunately - I got dire runs of form that left us languishing in the lower half of the table for most of the season. Admittedly we lost our star striker for most of the season through injury, plus the continued in-fighting over an official warning two seasons ago (I didn't think footballers had a memory that long!).

Only in the last five games of the season did Chester pull their act together, whacking in more goals than they'd managed the previous three months.

As I write this my job status is insecure - and I'm hoping that I will survive the summer to push for that promotion spot next year. Words from the board weren't encouraging. When I asked them to give me more time with the squad they responded that perhaps I should spend more time with the players than with them.

Tw@ts.

I do have a couple of highlights from the season, notably the FA Cup 3rd round tie against Southampton at St. Mary's. Chester took a shock first minute lead (I think I fainted ) but true to form Southampton then came back and pasted us. Another was coming back from 4-1 down at 80 minutes to tie a game at 4-4 AND having a goal disallowed!

With Chester now in administration I will probably find it hard to hold onto my star players... but hopefully they will stay at the club another year and see us into the 3rd Division!

Final league standings were like this

retired_florentino

I though that for a little variety I would introduce my first team to everyone. So cue the music, glitzy lights and cheesy American voice as we present.... the Chester 2005/06 squad...

Arthritic Arty is a 21 year old goalkeeper with a complete inability to jump for the ball.... Corners, set pieces and 35 yard shots are guarenteed to find their way into the back of the net with this young stallion in the nets.... Another contender for the "Fat Goalie of the Year" award me thinks...

Fatman - the most highly rated of the Chester defenders is 22 and is the unofficial vice-captain of the side. Actually named for a pun on his real name, he is best known for crunching sliding tackles and his collection of fluffy teddy bears. Aw bless...

Welshie is one of the few survivors of the great purge at Chester and surprisingly conned someone into calling him up a couple of times for the Wales U-21 squad. Now 22, he is an established first team regular and lists his hobbies as sheep, sheep-shagging and (surprisingly) Cluedo. Not a lot to do in his part of Wales then!

Nutter was one of the first youth signings under DaveRH's reign and has seized the opportunity for first team action after the clear-outs of the last two years. His strength in the air is balanced against his complete inability to tackle properly or pass the ball. Last seasons tally were three conceded penalties, an own goal and at least three serious injuries inflicted on the opposition. Needless to say he's earned my undieing loyalty.

Gabriel was a summer bosman signing - and is actually the first winger at Chester with anything approaching pace and flair. Needless to say he was injured in his first game. SI Conspiracy theories abound once more...

The Snail is Gabriel's counter-part on the other wing and needless to say is everything Gabs' isn't. He can't run with the ball, can't pass the ball and has all the pace of a lame brick. Only a regular in the side because he takes a sweet corner and superb direct free-kicks.

Keano is another of the bosman signings of the season before last and the 22 year old has firmly established himself not only as the first choice in the midfield but also club captain. His strength and vision - plus the ability to knock out opponants when the ref isn't looking make him one of my favourites. The fact that he has also been called up to the Welsh U-21 squad shouldn't be held against him.

The Turk is my record £30k signing before the start of last season. He's not actually that good, but because I bought him and because he seems to work well with Keano I feel the urge to keep him on the pitch. Occasionally lashes in a peach of a goal from long range, but also gives the ball to the opposing attackers far too often. Says that he has a harem somewhere in Chester, but I reckon it's just a couple of camels with veils on.

Speedy is the 2nd string striker who stepped up into the breach after the purges at Chester and would be utter sh1te if it weren't for the fact that he's the fastest player Chester have and can actually dribble the ball a bit before doing a "Heskey". I reckon he used to nick stuff before becoming a footballer - hence the incredible speed and acceleration. To test this I intend to stand behind the Chester goal and yell "Stop Police!" to see how fast he runs away.

God is the Welsh striker already referred to in previous posts as "Chester's only star player". 100 goals in the last three and a bit seasons says it all really.

That's all folks!

retired_florentino

Season 05/06 Report

Well Chester have finally done it - gaining promotion through the playoffs after scoring a massive 121 goals (but conceding 60-odd too).

Unsurprisingly my two strikers, Speedy and God scored the majority of them - making them both record-holding strikers in the conference. God actually notched up over 65 goals...

Highlights of the season (and epitomising my sides "We'll score more than you" attitude) where the 10-1 thrashing of Northwich and the 5-1 defeat at the hands of Scarborough.

To keep things interesting my side decided to fail to win for 5 of the last 7 games in the campaign, denying us the opportunity to win the league.

The FA Cup, Vans Trophy and FA Trophy were wash-outs - due to me trying the attacking approach against far better sides than I. We did notch up an away 3-0 at Barnsley though...

On the financial side Chester are now close to £5.5m in debt. No small part of this was due to the sense of humour of my administrators - who interfered with two of my 'free offers' to take completely overpaid crap players on board instead of just releasing the unwanted men. To add injury to insult they also swapped two of my star players (The Turk and The Nutter) for four players who were, again, completely crap.

Needless to say, I've given up on trying to control my wage budget as the administrators have managed to put me nearly £7k per week over it.

Thankfully, league football and the goodies that go with it now call the mighty Chester onwards.

Final league positions.

retired_berrysale

"An entertaining read" - LFCfan

retired_florentino

I should have done this LLM thing years ago I can't believe how satisfying that last season was with Chester...

You know the sort of satisfying when you've really hit top form but you know that your team can't sustain it... The only question is how long will it last...

CM is almost scary :eek:

retired_sandra

Bloody hell, I've noticed that there is only Chester in the top 7 that are actually a Conference club. All the rest have been promoted.

Well done David.