Just finished my 3rd season with Woking in Conference. Having trailed the run away leader Barnet for some time, I managed to be 2 points adrift on the final day of the season with a goal difference of +54 and Barnet of +56.
On the last day we're away to Telford who are safely in mid-table with their players already planning their next trip to Ibiza and Barnet are at home to Stevenage who unlike Telford are thinking Mallorca is more to their liking.
Didn't expect much but since teams like that can either play good footbal by being more relaxed or simply don't give a ****, results could go our way. Especially since on form Stevenage are on a roll and Telford are falling apart.
- 15:00 Game starts. Beautiful day in Telford. Sun is shining, temperature is mild and mini-skirts are out.
- 15:15 we score and thus are level with Barnet with +55 and them +56, I can already see possible glory on the arisen as Telford is visibly not interested in football (bless their heats). Hope Stevenage isn't like that.
- 15:25 we score a 2nd and are on +56 but having score more goal we go top. I'm sending all my prayers to Stevenage so they can hold out (10 men behind I tell ya! 10 men behind!)
- 15:30 Stevenage scores and I order the finest bottle of Veuve Cliquot as I'm conviced things will go our way. I'm planing a family trip to Stevenage as I lOOOve Stevenage
- 15:35 we score a third. The Veuve Cliquot arrives while I write my victory speech on the bench. A nice Cuban cigar would help.
- 15:45 Half-Time its Barnet-Stevenage 0-1, Telford-Woking 0-3. We play strip-poker with the local girls in the changing rooms.
- 16:00 Second half starts. I lost at poker. My striker is lauging at me so I substitute him.
- 16:10 we play beach soccer with Telford since noone gives a flying duck about te game anymore. Stevenage is still holding. God I love Stevenage.
- 16:15 Barnet scores. We're still ahead on goal difference so I decide to tighten the defense. Not that it was needed since Telford seemed more concerned about getting a tan ready for Ibiza. I'm still concerned and lost 5kgs sweating on the bench
- 16:20 Barnet scores and go back to the top. The Veuve Cliquot goes back in the fridge (wasn't chilled enough anyway) and still hope Stevenage will do something.
- 16:40 Still no change in the score. I'm crying on the bench and no football is being played at Telford as the result is a foregone conclusion. Nothing is happening at Barnet. Lazy Stevenage players
- 16:45. The referee blows his whistle and the BBC crushes my heart by announcing the results. Barnet won 2-1. I hate Stevenage.
Still, there's the playoffs... The Veuve Cliquot needs a tad more time in the fridge.