Right, so I just got the game a couple of days ago. I decided to be Newcastle United. Being a fan, it was only right.
38 league games later, and I finished 20th in the Premiership. I have played Spurs 6 times, and they have knocked me out of the League Cup, the FA Cup, UEFA Cup, and done the double over me in the league. When I go to sleep, I can see Martin Jol grinning at me.
I have absolutely no money. I had to bring in Henrik Larsson for 28k. I only got the idea because Man United tried it in real life.
All my players want to leave. Dyer has stopped turning up for training. Emre wants to go to Spain. Owen is being scouted by Roma. I tried to get rid of Luque with a mutual termination because I could not afford to pay him anymore, and a deal to offload him to Norwich fell through.
My fans hated me, and the board were disappointed in me. Two weeks after getting the team relegated, I got sacked.
And yet, the thing is, I really tried to be good!
I played 4-4-2 at first, thought about my teamtalks, seeked advice from coaches and senior players, and got my team to play it wide, and hit on the counter.
Nothing worked. I got nothing out of these players. Absolutely nothing. Changing tactics to 4-1-3-2 did not work either. I thought I'd stick with it to see if it would gel, but then I got criticised for not changing rubbish tactics.
What the hell went wrong? What could I have done differently were I to do it again? I probably wouldn't have changed all that much, which is the worrying thing.
20th in the Premiership with 35 points? Dear me. I got beat 3-0 off Wigan on the final day of the season when a win would have kept me up. That's how unmotivated my players were by the end of my reign.
Help me, please!