To the OP:
I haven't read through your post entirely (mainly because FM has given me the attention span of a fruitbat), so I'll just ask "have you tried Beta Patch 1?"
After 2-3 months without FM2008 (couldn't stick with FM2007 after experiencing 08's changes and positives), I've gone back to it and installed Beta Patch 1 and finally, I'm enjoying myself. The only problems being the speed (but I've picked fewer leagues than before to counter this) and the "grey team" issue.
Apart from that, I'm enjoying myself immensely! I've found myself shaking my fists with glee when my players score again! One of my players actually accepted a fine off me for violent conduct - first time that's happened to me in the entire series. I've been commended by another of my players for being able to take poor results on the chin and work on it.
If only SI had just fixed the grey team issue and the speed, then 8.0.1 would've been near peefect.
And yes, the Steklo skin is gorgeous.