KingsbayYHPE

Consider this, it does my head in.

For the purposes of this discussion I have a mate called Lefty McLeft. He's a footballer with a left foot, he has a right one too which is mainly for standing on, but with the left he could conduct the Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra.

Now, with a player like Lefty I've seen his position described in a multitude of ways.

We have, starting from the back, DL, DML, ML, AML, and FL. Two of these are self explanatory, but the other three need a bit of explanation. DL = Left sided fullback, ML = Left sided midfielder. No problem there, then.

DML = Left sided attacking fullback? ...or Left sided defensive midfielder? ...or a wingback? Does that mean he's a fullback who goes forward a lot, or a midfielder who's adept at dropping back? The AI generally play him on the left wing, which brings us to...

AML = Left winger? Aye, very good, but how does that differ from an ML, or an AI-controlled DML? We'll leave that and head to...

FL = Left sided forward? Where does he play? Is he an out and out attacker, or an even further forward left winger, or just a left winger who can move forward and score goals?

These are rhetorical questions, by the way, but then consider this.

Lefty McLeft D/DM L. So, he's a Left sided fullback who can go forward and play on the left wing - but doesn't a DL do that anyway?

Lefty McLeft. D/M L. So he's now a left sided fullback who can go forward and play on the wi...?

Lefty Mcleft. D/AM L. So he's now...?

Lefty McLeft. D/F L. Now I'm getting confused.

But Wait!!!

Lefty McLeft. D/DM/F L, or D/M/F L, or even D/AM/F L ?????

Back to the AML and FL, or the AM/F L. Now, let's get this right...an AML is a left winger, that's different from an ML and a DML - even though the AI plays an AML as a wingback and a DML as a winger - because he goes forward in attacking positions, like the FL, but he's different because he...has a different name, but if he can score he's called an FL, but if he can play as a wingback and a left winger and score then he's an FL...but no...wait...that would then make him an AM/F L...or...

Lefty has a very good Clinical Psychologist and an Occupational Therapist who's teaching him to make baskets with raffia.

He's asked her if I can go too

retired_mdibrell

Feck off! I've just had three beers and I come back to work to try and read this? I reiterate feck off!

KingsbayYHPE

I know all the reasoning behind the names, Rek, but it's the crossovers that are pretty silly most of the time.

I've been known to play a DML as a Striker for a couple of seasons and have him as top scorer, so :thup: to your "play where I tell them" comment

KingsbayYHPE

Btw, who'll cover my pound that some arse will define every position mentioned?

retired_sargent

It's the sports afternoon at school

Teacher - " Who is left footed and can tackle"

Lefty - " Me Sir, Me Sir"...Jumping up and down

Teacher - " Right, Brown, you will be our Left Back. Now we need a left midfielder defensively minded"

Lefty - " Me Sir, Me Sir"...Jumping up and down

Teacher - " Right, Smith, you will be our Left sided midfielder. On second thoughts we really should play a left midfielder who can attack and defend"

Lefty - " Me Sir, Me Sir"...Jumping up and down

Teacher - " Right, Jones, you will be our Left sided midfielder. No really we should play a proper left winger"

Lefty - " Me Sir, Me Sir"...Jumping up and down

Teacher - " Right, Patel, you will be our Left winger. And ideally I want a left sided forward as substitute in case we are losing"

Lefty - " Me Sir, Me Sir"...Jumping up and down

Teacher - " Right, MacTavish, you will be our left sided forward. Now, Goalkeeper.... McLeft that'll suit you"

KingsbayYHPE

Damn me! you were at our School, Church?

retired_clintcooke

i try to only buy players who have a defined position, i hate DML or D/ML cause there is always the confusion as to where to play. Give me a DL and another player with ML any day.

retired_tinkfaeree

You forgot the SW/L

retired_carmen_v82

All this begs the question of whats the difference between the ones Iaj has listed and a DSL? Does he just play the normal game but 10 times faster? (Ahem.)

retired_priyaa_00

I've got the whole left thing but where do I play my DMR?

my team also has a number of ARSES what do I do with them?