KingsbayYHPE

That's easy, you just go to www.whatwomanssizeareyou.co.uk

KingsbayYHPE

After my bragging about the 4-0 derby win we went on a 4 game losing streak. The Board was disappointed. Drastic action was needed and I'm just the man to take it.

By this time we were 8 points behind Inverness with a game more played, the scouts were finding nothing and we'd lost three guys with groin tears - and the star MC had gone down with another one. I had a look at his injury history and he's 13 previous groin injuries, I deduce there's a problem.

In between the 3rd and 4th loss were sandwiched a League Cup semi-final and a Scottish Cup 4th round tie - and cups suck ass as you know.

We contrived to win the semi-final 3-0 over Killie, and it was then a cunning plan was formulated...

...we were going down. Even Big Ron couldn't work his magic on The Arabs, so I thought..."why don't we go for glory in the Scottish Cup?" I mean, it didn't really matter if we played first team regulars in the Cup, it wasn't going to make any difference, and maybe the Board and the Fans would enjoy a bit of Cup success, in either Competition.

The League Cup final was against Celtic, and the 4th round tie was against ICT as it happened, and we beat them 2-1 in a hard fought match to set up a quarter final game against Rangers.

The elation of two cup game wins was quickly dowsed when we lost the next League game.

To cut a long story short, we lost the League Cup final to Celtic, 2-1 after extra time, and in the final 13 League games we had a remarkable change in fortune, starting with a 5-0 victory over ICT (that's when the belief kicked in) we went W8, D4, L1 and finished 10th in the SPL, avoiding relegation and ending up 9 points ahead of poor ICT who had an abysmal run-in.

To the Cup now. The scouts found three players that change the course of the season. A goalie who I'd had at East Stirlingshire had been released by Sunderland, a Scottish DC was out of contract at The Posh and a youngster I'd had at East Stirling and Blackburn was available for loan from Blackburn, so I signed all three for nowt.

Irony of ironies, in the quarter final against Rangers we had 3 shots on target, and scored 2, Rangers had 12 shots and scored 1 and the new goalie got MoM and 9.00 \o/

The semi final was against Celtic (and we had them in the League three days later). We beat them 2-0 in a fairly even encounter (and trounced them 2-0 in the League at Tannadice).

The Final was against 1st Division Raith Rovers.

In a very even game we took a first half 2-0 lead and wound up 4-1 victors, with the on-loan guy scoring 2.

He finished the season having played 16 games, scored 14, assisted with 4 and got 2 MoM's for an average of 7.62, so with the money built up from sales of players (75% of £3m) I bought him for the third time for £1m and £500k after 50 games. That's free to East Stirlingshire, £1.2m to Blackburn and potentially £1.5m to Dundee United.

Cups still suck ass :cool:

[edit]
Glossary:
Cups suck ass = Fact.
ICT = Inverness Caledonian Thistle
The Arabs = Dundee United

retired_sargent

Now on to European Qualification and possibly an offer to manage Liverpool( ).

KUTGW

KingsbayYHPE

What a Chistmas present!

On the Twenty Third day of December, in the year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Eleven, Ian J Ferguson was offered the vacant Manager's post at Heart of Midlothian Football Club.

This offer was accepted

retired_nekh_20

Are you sure you like it? I still have the receipt so you can take it back?

retired_sandra

Come on Hibs!

retired_lola1287

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>we were going down. Even Big Ron couldn't work his magic on The Arabs, so I thought..."why don't we go for glory in the Scottish Cup?" I mean, it didn't really matter if we played first team regulars in the Cup, it wasn't going to make any difference, and maybe the Board and the Fans would enjoy a bit of Cup success, in either Competition.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Iajafer = Ivan golac MKII

good job you've disappeared down gorgie to run the jambo's into rack and ruin. I just hope the arabs didn't replace you with billy kirkwood :eek:

KingsbayYHPE

I thought it was probably time for an update, since we've almost completed a quarter of the SPL fixture list since I took over on December 23rd.

First order of the day was to sign my AssMan from Dundee United. He said he wasn't interested, but a little bung and an increase in wages saw a quick about turn (He's been with me at East Stirlingshire, Blackburn, Dundee United and now Hearts, having had a brief sojourn as AssMan at Derby when I was at Telford). Peter Houston was quite happy to re-negotiate to a coach and take charge of the reserves.

The rest of the staff looked quite good, though a little aged.

The squad looked fine too, though extremely disenchanted. Morale was at rock bottom - hardly surprising as Hearts were 12th - but I thought we'd soldier on with the same squad for a few games and see what we could do.

Lose the first two games, 1-3 against fellow strugglers Motherwell and 1-4 against leaders Celtic, was what we could do!

The next game was against Dundee United, followed by a Cup Tie against The Huns and a League game at Hibs.

Spirits began to lift with a 2-1 victory over The Arabs, a replay victory over Rangers, but were quickly punctured when Hibs took us to task, 1-5 at Easter Road.

We haven't lost since, though. 4 wins and 2 draws in the League and two victories in the Cup, including a very sweet 4-2 over Celtic - with an aged Canadian International scoring 2 and MoM'ing. That's 12 seasons he's been with the Jambos :cool:

We've signed a Polish SC from Brentford for £1m, an AM/FR who was my top player at Dundee United, and who was immediately dropped from the First Team and dumped on the list, for £450k, and a Scottish DM/DR from Charlton for £400k, and that used up our £1.9m transfer funds.

There you go then. We're about to play Motherwell, there's 6 games to the split, and we've got Partik or Dunfermline in the Cup semi final.

KingsbayYHPE

Where'd that "c" go? Partick :o

retired_blondielovespink

It's interesting how often top-performers while you were managung at a club find themselves listed or benched immediately when the new management comes in.

Like the AI was stooopid or something.

KUTGW!