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I loaded up All the Jock & Poofland leagues, took charge of Vauxhall Motor Werk and made ready to press return. 1stly I employed a couple of scouts and a coach and started looking for feebies as I would have no transfer funds.
I was told to battle bravely and was doing fine to start with, a win, draw & lose to start with. I fancied I saw danny Baker in the crowd but that might have been my imagination..
I was using a cavalier stlye as was my wont for a while up until the local press asked my about my propensity to ship goals. To be honest I think he might have been a spy cos' it all went downhill from here...
"Yer leaking like a ****ed Jocklander in a brewery with nae bladder control skills, whit are yae gaen tae dae aboot it?" Says the gadgey wie the pencil ahint his ear.
"Erm dannae ken, never thoot aboot it likes" mumbles me atween swallies of Doublebock beer from Munich's Strongbeerfest
At the same time my only decent winger gets an injury for a few months and my decision is made for me.
Back to the drawing board goes me and settles on a more defensive set-up.
For the next few months I tinker like a maddie but can't halt the slump and after 14 games I sit 22nd won 1 drawn 3 lost the rest...
Back to 'Plan A' goes me and we make a slow but sure rise up the table, reaching the guiddy heights of 17th before the wheels well and truely come aff the bogey and with 5 ames to go I find myself 7 points clear off safety.
I make my mind up the VMW is unsaveable and I start to think about a new job..
Just after that Rushden & Diamonds offer me the job in Div 2, or Div 3 in old money or Div 4 for Iaj and the other oldies.
My remit is to reduce the wage bill and to try and avoid relegation. I'm 7,500 over my wage bill but relatively safe above the drop. I start my new job with 2 wins and am safe.
I release some deadwood and assorted carp and pinch two scouts from VMW and try manly to sign my goalie who is not too bad but going out of contract soon...