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We can't afford an accountant at East Stirling. The ONLY full-time employees are the chairman and myself. I manage the team and the club shop, occasionally taking up to £14 per month if anyone buys a shirt, and the chairman keeps the books. He's a lovely guy, always fullly supportive, but his sums are starting to worry me.
A week into the current month and my balance sheet read INCOME £0 EXPENDITURE £1
On further investigation it appears that the £1 was paid as a signing on fee. Looking deeper I see £5 was logged for this purpose last month (when the transfer window was closed although I did finally bring in a physio after six months' frustration and mounting casualties) and a whopping £40 has leeched out for such 'signing on fees' this season alone.
Worse, £5 was paid as a bonus even though NONE of my players have any bonus clauses. Last season £32 disappeared into this particular black hole.
This is very scary. I see Nick Leeson [jailbird naming ] has just been hired by Galway; I wonder if he's been consulting with my boss.
Any other tales of scandalous financial exposes in the lower leagues?