phnompenhandy

We can't afford an accountant at East Stirling. The ONLY full-time employees are the chairman and myself. I manage the team and the club shop, occasionally taking up to £14 per month if anyone buys a shirt, and the chairman keeps the books. He's a lovely guy, always fullly supportive, but his sums are starting to worry me.

A week into the current month and my balance sheet read INCOME £0 EXPENDITURE £1

On further investigation it appears that the £1 was paid as a signing on fee. Looking deeper I see £5 was logged for this purpose last month (when the transfer window was closed although I did finally bring in a physio after six months' frustration and mounting casualties) and a whopping £40 has leeched out for such 'signing on fees' this season alone.

Worse, £5 was paid as a bonus even though NONE of my players have any bonus clauses. Last season £32 disappeared into this particular black hole.

This is very scary. I see Nick Leeson [jailbird naming ] has just been hired by Galway; I wonder if he's been consulting with my boss.

Any other tales of scandalous financial exposes in the lower leagues?

Cosmo-poof

Chairman is leeching away the money so he can send his boys to college in 20 years.

StanLaurel

I can't say I have studied my clubs finances that closely. It tends to be 'Are we in the black ..... no, still red!!'

You must have been very bored!

phnompenhandy

It's true I am a micro-manager, but Expenditure £1 begs to be investigated

Bruiser

I bet you can't wait for SI to bring out "Book Keeper 2006". (Apparently they've used part of the FM match engine!)

Nobby_McDonald

£1? Obviously the tea bags, milk and sugar bought from Tesco.

iajafer

For a £1? When was the last time you were at Tesco?

Cosmo-poof

You pay tea in guinea pigs?

Church

3 groats for a half a hundredweight sack of tea when I was a nipper.

tuppence three farthing for a pound bag.

Church

Well at least he had a roof over his head.