tackling, positioning and marking are the essentials. then theres quite important ones like work rate, stamina, decisions, anticipation etc. having good jumping and heading is usually needed but its not totally important (eg Makelele)
positional-wise, you would say a DM in a diamond is a holding man, as he sits in front of the back line. but you can say that in a flat 4-4-2 too. i guess its the way the team plays, as sometimes both midfielders will attack and defend. wouldnt really call him a holding man if play was like that
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