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I will tend to do the commentary for my matches, and if i lose ill start talking to my monitor about how it was disappointing and i want to see more from the players in the next match. Sometimes ill get up and kick a ball around doing highlights aswell.
I conduct commentaries and post match analysis on the way to the bathroom, usually berating the players to get their acts together and telling them they are on the verge of losing their place. I then talk to the imaginary Jeff Stelling next to me telling him how unbelievable that was and ask where was the defense?
Hmm I've been known to mumble insults towards my players and tell them "to play football or ge the hell out of my team!" also I've been less than kind to the refs oh and pretty much every single Board in the game have gotten a couple of insults from me, at least more than once. With the exception of David Gill of ManUtd.
I'd also say something along the lines of
"you lot are the worst players to ever get on this field, I mean come on. ten minutes, I tell you to mark that guy and what do you do? you bloody well let him score. Not only that, when you pass you always seem to think passing to the opposition is a good idea. When I say KEEP THE BALL I mean KEEP THE BALL not blast it up to the bloody opposition then stand around watchinga s they cruise past you and score a fricken goal! Honestly where the hell is your passion lads?!"
Then I get to the halftime screen and press "sympatize"...
Continuing into the second half, if I'm 3-0 down or something and a guy scores two I'll go:
"Who do you think you are? You've played horribly and now you think two goals are going to make up for it? Guess what, it's not! stop celebrating and get back there and score more you twat"
I'd make such a great manager, motivational skills 100%!!!!