retired_i_want_hot_bod97

I think I'm probably due to contribute an update. Although, I wonder if anyone even noticed.

After, a brief 3 season trial on the Workington challenge I embarked on an Eastern European venture starting in Croatiawhich turned sour.

Having sweet recollections of Caernarfon Town back in CM01/02 I decided to start afresh in beautiful Wales (or so I've heard).

Grange Quins 2005/06

League: 6th
Welsh Challenge Cup: 1st round
Welsh Cup: Semi-Final
FAW Cup: Not invited
Top Average: 7.41 Kenneth Branagh
Most Goals: 19 Gorgeous
Most Assists: 10 Seasons
Fans player of the year: Seasons
Highlight of the season: Having Kenneth Branagh in the team, until he decided to retire.

I took the reigns of newly promoted and managerless Grange Harlequins. They reside in Wales and play at the Cardiff Athletics Stadium a 2500 all-seater. Why they call themselves the Grange Clowns/Buffoons is beyond me. Maybe they consider themselves a joke of a wine. Who knows?

Anyway…having inherited a team of hackers but two decent strikers (Gorgeous and Seasons) I set out to recruit some old folks not wanted anywhere else. I stumbled upon the wonderful defensive talents of Kenneth Branagh (not his real name) who managed to plug the gaping holes at the back. He was duly awarded the player of the year by the fans. To which he gave a “thank you very much” and decided to retire. My defence would never be the same again.

retired_i_want_hot_bod97

Grange Quins 2006/07

League: 8th
Welsh Challenge Cup: Winners \0/
Welsh Cup: 4th round
FAW Cup: Qtr final
Top Average: 7.15 Tin Man
Most Goals: 29 Rabies
Most Assists: 8 Gorgeous
Fans player of the year: Rabies
Highlight of the season: Winning and getting the monkey off my back.

After an unexpectedly strong start to my career, it was clear that the only way was down. With Kenneth Branagh now retired and resuming his acting career, I struggled to find an adequate replacement and promptly began leaking at the back. Fortunately I managed to sign the scoring services of Rabies from Scotland and the midfield marshal, Tin Man.

Rabies began to fire them into the back of the net with strong support from an aging Mr Gorgeous. Whilst struggling to replicate last seasons league form, the goals from Rabies help to secure my first bit of silverware. Go the cups! \0/

Rabies was duly awarded the player of the year by the fans. To which he also gave a “thank you very much” and retired. Throughout the end of year dinner Gorgeous was muttering “ungrateful ingrates” repeatedly to himself and decided to retire in January of the new season ahead.

retired_i_want_hot_bod97

Oops I actually finished 10th not 8th. Not that it makes much difference.

retired_i_want_hot_bod97

Grange Quins 2007/08

League: 8th
Welsh Challenge Cup: Semi-final
Welsh Cup: Qtr finals
FAW Cup: 2nd round
Top Average: 7.13 Gerkins
Most Goals: 18 Pearshape
Most Assists: 10 Hugs
Fans player of the year: Pearshape
Highlight of the season: Brave attempt to defend the Challenge Cup

Following last seasons Cup heroics I entered the new season with concern following my retired/retiring strike force, leaky defence and not much else. A rebuilding process was required. Having come to the conclusion that a pattern was emerging with my star oldies promptly ending their careers on a relative high, it was clear that I need to nurture younglings (borrowed from another thread).

Although a brave attempt was made to defend the Challenge Cup I fell at the semi-final stage, with not much happening in the other cups. In fact not much happened at all. I was far away from relegation and a number of beating away from qualification for Europe.

retired_dvrsecuritylab

Excellent choice of country Gomdol :thup:

The Quins actually retired from the league last year because they couldn't pay their staff or players wages and couldn't afford to keep the club running, so clowns is fairly apt (sad-faced ones I imagine...).

The ground is about 5 minutes walk from where I live (and will soon be demolished to make way for Cardiff City's new stadium), so enjoy the fantasy

KUTGW

retired_i_want_hot_bod97

Grange Quins 2008/09

League: 12th
Welsh Challenge Cup: 1st round
Welsh Cup: 2nd round
FAW Cup: 1st round
Top Average: 7.00 Gerkins
Most Goals: 9 Spud
Most Assists: 5 Spud
Fans player of the year: Spud
Highlight of the season: Not getting relegated

Well if last season was nothing to write about, clearly this season was a shocker. Having signed Spud to help Pearshape in the goal scoring department among other mediocre signings this was always going to be a difficult year.

Following a promising first season from young Pearshape, he was clearly the invisible man this season with poor performances and disrupted by injuries. The 9 spuds Spud managed to put in the back of the net was only notable due to the mediocrity surrounding him.

Having being dumped rather promptly out of the cups, most of the attention was on avoiding the drop. After hovering in and out of the relegation zone for most of the season, the team managed to climb out of trouble and end up in a respectable 12th position.

Bring on next season and quickly!

retired_i_want_hot_bod97

Grange Quins 2009/10

League: 8th
Welsh Challenge Cup: Qtr Final
Welsh Cup: Semi-final
FAW Cup: Qtr final
Top Average: 7.07 Stress Ball
Most Goals: 22 Big Mac
Most Assists: 14 Stress Ball
Fans player of the year: Big Mac
Highlight of the season: Discovering a potential long term strike partnership

Clearly, something needed to be done to steer the team back in an upward direction. I promptly decided to clear out the deadwood and bring in some less binary players. I had hired two more scouts to add to my one and went out looking for bargains.

The scouts returned a number of promising players. The scouts returned Big Mac a promising looking striker. They also found, to my surprise, a middle aged MR/ST Stress Ball. Why no other club wanted to sign him I’m not sure? But I decided to quickly break the bank and pay his 300 pound wage demands.

A clear upturn in fortunes was clear with strong cup performances and a credible 8th placing. I had also signed Big Mac’s “brother” Left Mac, a rare left footed striker. To my surprise he matured quickly and formed a strong partnership with Big Mac. Managing to score 32 goals in all competitions. Things are looking good.

In response to Elrawkum’s comments, while I’m managing to keep the dream alive in the WPL, it’s clear why the Quins ended up going bust. I’ve managed to consistently lose money and slide closer to bankruptcy each season despite only spending only half my salary budget each season.

I’ve decided to just close my eyes and go la di da di da…

retired_Xaverious

Excellent Gomdol from a fellow Welshman. :thup:

retired_tye1234

On the up? This thread should be called “On the level”

KUTGFinishing8th :thup:

retired_i_want_hot_bod97

Yes. I hover up and down the table throught each season but seem to end up at 8th with great regularity. Not sure what else I can do other than sign better players. Or is that tipping? :thup: