Set up a game with the UK and Ireland all down to the lowest playable league. Decided to start in Northern Ireland and afer Wikipedia told me that one of the teams was nicknamed The U2s I couldn't resist the temptation to take over Oxford United Stars. When asked about by the press about my motivation to join the club, the fans were less than impressed by my response. Oh well.
Season One: (Oxford United Stars, Northern Irish Second Division)
Media Prediction: 10th
Board expectations: Invest in new players
Fans expectations: Invest in new players
Predicted to finish 10th and struggle in the relegation battle, I was surprised to get off to a good start after making a few decent signings. After 5 games, I was in second and challenging for the title. The form didn't last and I spent most of the remainder of the season with no consistency and battling in midtable. I then decided that my team lacks experience so signed a 52 year-old centre back my scout had found. Regained form again near the end of the season and was unbeaten in my 5 final matches and after winning 3 of those, I had pushed back up into 3rd albeit 8 points away from a promotion spot and 22 behind winners Chimney Corner. Not that that stopped my board from being "delighted that the team has won promotion from the second division" of course. I won £500 for my league position thus making me super-rich. Something not at all relevant but quite amusing was Glebe Rangers winning overacheivers of the season despite finishing bottom.
The cups were a mixed bag with my biggest success coming in the Irish Cup where victories over Donard, Holywood and Dungannon set up a game at home against Ballymena United who were 3rd in the Premier League. A 1-1 draw was followed by a penalty-shoot out which we won 3-1 to go through to the quarter final. At this point I was knocked out away to eventual runners-up Cliftonville when in the 86th minute, my keeper decided that the best way of dealing with a harmless cross was to punch it into his own goal.
Final League Position: 3rd (P22 W9 D7 L6 F35 A25 Pts34)
Irish Cup: Quarter Final
Intermediate Cup: Second Round
Intermediate League Cup: Group Stage
Transfers: 5 in, 3 out
Average Attendance: 198
Season Two: (Oxford United Stars, Northern Irish Second Division)
Media Prediction: 6th
Board expectations: Invest in new players
Fans expectations: Invest in new players
The season didn't start well with just 4 points out of the first 4 matches putting me in the relegation battle. Beginning to get bored of failing to progress in a country where even the current champions are semi-professional and have lower attendances than an average Conference club, I started looking elsewhere for jobs. The only vacancy at this point was Gateshead which I applied for but did not get. At this point my form improved and I quickly moved into the promotion race which I stayed in for the rest of the season. Unlike the previous season, the promoion race here went right down to the wire. With 2 games left, I was third in a battle where the top 4 were seperated by one point and I was being kept out of a promotion spot by one goal. In the last two games, I was up against the leaders and the 4th placed side both away from home. Two victories secured the championship beating Brantwood on goals scored. I got a bit lazy with contract renewals and didn't realise that the rule in Northern Ireland was that you could approach palyers with 6 months remaining on their contracts so I lost two of my star players. In other news, for some reason, I was offered the United States job. I turned it down of course.
And cups suck arse.
Final Position: 1st (P22 W11 D6 L5 F39 A26 Pts39)
Irish Cup: Third Round
Intermediate Cup: Quarter Final
Intermediate League Cup: Quarter Final
Transfers: 1 in, 3 out
Average Attendance: 195
Season Three: (Oxford United Stars, Northern Irish First Division)
Media Prediction: 9th
Board expectations: Fight bravely against relegation
Fans expectations: Fight bravely against relegation
Didn't make any signings during preseason because for once, I got a decent batch of youngsters that played in the positions where I needed backups. The Intermediate League Cup was a bad omen after I got knocked out in the group stage despite not losing any matches. Started the season terribly and was in an early relegation battle which I slowly begun to pull away from partly because my form improved and partly because the bottom 2 teams were beyond crap (both had 5 points after 11 games, I had 13 at this point). I stuttered for the rest of the season and finished in my pre-season predicted finish of 9th and get a fully undeserved £575 in prize money. The one thing which ruined my season was my away form - I gained just 4 points away all season all of which coming from the two sides that got relegated and I had to wait until the penultimate match of the season to get my first away win. I applied for a lot of jobs that I failed to get (Dagenham & Redbridge, Bryntiron, Bath City and Brechin City all rejected me)
And cups suck arse. Especially the Intermediate Cup which I reached the final of, lost on penalties to Larne and got just £11K prize money
Final Position: 9th (P22 W5 D8 L9 F24 A34 Pts23)
Irish Cup: Fifth Round
Intermediate Cup: Final
Intermediate League Cup: Group Stage
Transfers: 4 in, 11 out
Average Attendance: 256
One love, One blood, One life but no talented players 
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