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From first ‘til last, a brief if complete update of my latest campaign. Frank told me to get pished In Northern Ireland, which I assume is what PSNI stands for.
Large database; all leagues from England, Scotland, Wales, N. Ireland and Ireland loaded.
2006-07
N. Ireland League 2nd Division
Players in/out: loads; rebuilt the squad
P 22 W12D7 L3 F 33 A 11 Pts 43Pos 1st
Irish CupQuarter final – lost 0-3 to Glentoran
Intermediate League CupFinal – won 2-0 vs. Ballymoney United
Intermediate Cup3rd round – lost 1-2 to non-league Sirocco Works
Antrim CupFinal – lost 0-2 to Glentoran
Antrim TrophyFinal – won 5-2 vs. Queens University Belfast
Top scorer (19)/fans’ player of the year: 40-year-old player/coach
Players in 0; players out 20 (got my squad sorted)
P22 W8 D5 L9 F 26A 28 Pts 29 Pos 6th
Irish Cup6th round – lost 1-2 to Glentoran
Intermediate League CupFinal – won penalty shoot-out 3-2 vs. Dungannon Swifts
Intermediate Cup1st round – lost 2-3 to Oxford United Stars
Antrim Cup1st round – lost 0-1 to Lisburn Distillery
Antrim Trophy4th round – lost 1-2 to Glentoran Seconds
Top scorer (16)/fans’ player of the year: main striker
I began the season by upsetting the board and the fans by jettisoning the two leading marksmen – the ol’ warhorse and a full-back, ‘the last king of Scotland’, who’d got 10 goals, all from free-kicks but was too much of a one-trick-pony, as was our skipper, who was a good leader but couldn’t actually play football.
Play-offs: beat Glenavon 1-0 on aggregate to gain promotion to the Premier Division
Irish CupFinal – won 2-1 vs. rivals Cliftonville
Intermediate League CupFinal – lost 1-3 to Chimney Corner
Intermediate Cup1st round – lost 0-1 to non-league Desertmartin
Antrim CupFinal – won 5-0 vs. non-league Ballycastle United
Antrim TrophyFinal – won 3-1 vs. non-league Killyleagh Youth Club
Top scorer (22)/fans’ player of the year: same main striker as previous year
You can see that there are a lot of sucky cups at the bog-end of N. Ireland, with loads of ties against non-league opposition – great for utilising the whole squad.
As I've yet to actually win anything after over 4 seasons in Grease I find that hugely impressive. We have just 1 cup so I envy you all those trophy tilts.
And all Northern Irish cups suck arse, I am lucky in that the team I am managing (Oxford United Stars) don't play in the Antrium Cup or Trophy. Though seriously, congrats for winning the Irish Cup, I think that means you will be in the UEFA Cup next season?
It must be hard to keep track of all those cups! Still I suppose you only play half the league games you would in England, so it sort of makes up for it.
The number and timing of the cups is curious to say the least. What's more, non-league sides seem to do very well, often beating premier league sides and getting to finals.
It does appear that not only are all the teams in the lower two divisions (and half the premier) all much of a muchness, but also there is little quality-wise to separate them from the non-league teams.
It all adds up, IMO, to the N. Irish league being a bit of a disappointing challenge, as I shall reveal soon when I've completely concluded my campaign (99% certain that will be in the next day or two).
And yeh, I did qualify for Europe - very very briefly ....
Okay, now to complete the story. I had dark forebodings, but I plugged away a few days/seasons longer just to be sure.
I'm foregoing a regular update post with the intention that my experience might stimulate some response (hopefully more thought-out than 'serves you right for being successful.
2009-on
Having reached the utopia of Ulster, it all got rather tedious. The first season began with a 0-6 aggregate tanking by a Norwegian side in Europe although I later gained my first victory over Glentoran in one of the cups. After 4 seasons of consolidation I won the title, and retained it for 2 of the following 3 seasons. In 2014 I won the All-Irish tourney and retained that the following year. I was 5th in the Hall of Fame (3 titles, one cup), and could have got up to 3rd if I’d kept going (I should point out that 5 pts – one sucky cup - gets you on the board, 15 (add one title) gets you into the top ten and only 50 points (say, 4 titles and 2 cups) would put you third in Northern Irish managerial history – not that tough really).
Getting Pi55ed in Northern Ireland 
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