I have just finished my second season with Liverpool.
This is my story so far.
1st Season
FA Cup- 3rd Round
Champions League- Group Stages
League- 4th Place
UEFA Cup- Winners
2nd Season
FA Cup- 3rd Round
League- 2nd Place- 6 points behind Chelsea, 6 ahead of United.
Champions League- Winners
The supporters go mental, they think I am a legend, I have agreed deals to take 3 quality players in for next seasons title campaign, I’ve cleared out more dead weight. The board say they are well happy with me for bringing the trophy home. I ask them for a new contract, they say not at this time, two weeks go by my contract is about to expire and they ****ing sack me. SACK ME! ME!! I am in the all time list of Spanish Managers! They give the job to Rafa Benitez! Who the **** is he!!!
So I am jobless, I see there is a job going at Valencia, and I pack my bags and head to Spain for a crack at La Liga, unsure if the Valencia fans will take to the man who guided Real Madrid to 4 championships and European honours in FM06. It turns out that none of that counts for sh*t because Valencia don’t want me! Eh hello I am in the hall of fame! Two European triumphs in two years!!!
So I am jobless, I see there is a job going at Sunderland. Niall Quinn wets himself when I give him a call. He’s begging me to come to Weirside and he’s offering me a 2 year deal and 4 million to spend in the transfer market! I go back and say “Oi Quinny, I’ve just won the European Cup last month, lets make it a 4 year contract and we have a deal”. We meet up I sign the contract and he’s humping my leg at this stage, he knows he’s onto a winner. So much so he wants to be title contenders in 2 years! For the Premiership! I think we need more than 4 million Niall but I’ll give it a go! It’s no wonder Keano got sacked at Christmas in Season 1 and then Steve Cotterill took them down to the Championship shortly after. Paul Jewell won the Championship for them in season two and then fecked off to Wigan. Bloody Wigan! It makes me wonder what I gotten myself into!
Kieran Richardson- pack your bags son, you are out of here!