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After a number of previous discussions, concerning the relative ease of domestic competition in N.Ireland, (and subsequently the near impossibility of European success with a team from these parts), I have decided to have a little holiday from my Bromley game and take a trip to Nor'n Iron.
I loaded up, went on holiday for 1 year, and Lisburn Rangers as my weapon of choice.
ps. The sooner that Frank gets on board with this holidaying for 1 year mullarkey the better.
Second Division. 4th P22 W10 D7 L5 GF51 GA29 GD+22 PTS37 Intermediate League Cup. Finished 3rd of 6th in group stage and didn't progress. Antrim Trophy. Lost in 3rd Round. N.Irish Cup. Lost in 1st Round to a non league team. Intermediate Cup. Runners Up. (Lost on pens).
My player of the year. The Big fat lardy centre-half who somehow managed to score 22 goals this season. Supporters player of the year. Big fat lardy centre-half.
Season summary.
Don't know what all the fuss was about. Seems quite normal really. Big fat bloke scores loads of goals and we get knocked out in the Cup by a non league team. Oh yeah, on the subject of cups..... Do they really need 4 cups?
Second Division. Champions. P22 W18 D4 L0 GF63 GA14 GD+49 PTS58. Intermediate League Cup. Champions. Antrim Trophy. Runners Up. N.Irish Cup. Lost in 5th Round. Intermediate Cup. Champions.
My player of the year. Big Fat Target Man who scored 22 goals, (most with his head). Supporters player of the year. Big Fat Target Man.
Season summary.
Ok now I see what everyone was moaning about. It was the most boring season of CM/FM I have ever played. We won 3 trophies and lost in the final of another. We drew the first game of the season and the won the next 24. I think I would rather fight a relegation battle than play out another season like this.
First Division. Runners Up. P22 W14 D4 L4 GF53 GA21 GD+32 PTS46 Intermediate League Cup. Lost in semi-final. Antrim Trophy. Champions. N.Irish Cup. Lost in 4th Round. Intermediate Cup. Champions. Antrim Cup. Lost in semi-final.
My player of the year. Big fat lardy centre-half who showed that his 22 goals in Season 1 wasn't a flash in the pan as he notched another 16. Supporters player of the year. Young support striker with girls name who banged in 25 goals.
Season summary.
You would have expected me to have enjoyed this season, as we added a further 2 trophies to the 3 won in year 2. The addition of a 5th cup competition, (are they feckin mad), completely ruined the whole season for me and I even stubbed my toe in anger as I belatedly realised that my ageing group of overweight numpties would have to play even more games. It was better than last season, but I still felt that it was all too easy as we collected our 5th trophy in 3 years.
Premiership. 6th. P30 W12 D7 L11 GF51 GA43 GD+8 Pts43 League Cup. Champions. Antrim Cup. Lost in Qtr-final. N.Irish Cup. Lost in Qtr-final. All Ireland Cup. Lost in semi-final. Antrim Trophy. Lost in Qtr-final. (Ards ) Intermediate Cup. Lost in 2nd Round. (Ards ).
My player of the year. Fairly loyal all round striker who notched 24 goals in his 1st season at the club. Supporters player of the year. Fairly loyal all round striker who notched 24 goals in his 1st season at the club.
The All Ireland Cup overview. A quick guide for the uninformed like myself.
I wasn't quite sure how I qualified for the All Ireland Cup, and I was none too happy about it at the time either, (although that did change when I realised that this is the only domestic trophy in Ireland that you get decent prize money for). Looking back, it appears that 4 teams are selected each from Eire and from N.Ireland. I have no idea how the Eire clubs are chosen, but I would guess that it is the same as the N.Ireland selection process which is as follows. The top 2 clubs in the previous years Premiership, are joined by the previous years N.Ireland Cup winner and the current years League Cup winner. The League Cup is played at the beginning of the season, hence why the previous year is not used. Each club then goes into a group, with 2 clubs from the other nation and 1 club from their own nation. Each club plays eachother twice, (once home and once away), and the top 2 in each group progress to a semi-final. We received £130,000 just for competing in the group stage which is huge money in this league. With that and the sale of 1 player for £250,000 and another for £50,000, our debt was wiped out and we were once again solvent
Season summary.
You wouldn't believe it would you? The cups are breeding like rabbits. We started off with 4 and after 2 seasons, this increased to 5. Then another year later and it is increased to 6. At this rate, by the time I reach my early fifties, we will be competing in 21 Cups and each season will last for 3 and a half years, just so that we can get all the games in. If you add in the U18's Cup, the U18's league and the Reserves league then we competed in 10 competitions this year. There are posters in GQ who can't count to 10, never mind about competing in 10 different competitions. It was better than winning 25 games in a row, but only just. I didn't have a big enough squad to leave players in their respective squads, and my competitive streak would not allow me to just leave the little competitions to the Ass Man, so I seemed to be forever swapping players from squad to squad, trying to figure out what game was next and who had to be rested for when. If I told you that I took control over the U18's & the Reserve teams for every cup competition would you laugh at me? Hello. My name is Jim and I am addicted to Suck Ass Trophies.
The one other thing of not that happened this season was that Linfield became the first N.Irish club to turn professional. When it happened I thought it was us.
Premiership. Runners Up. P30 W19 D8 L3 GF65 GA27 GD+38 Pts65. League Cup. Champions. Antrim Cup. Champions. N.Irish Cup. Lost in Qtr-final. (Lisburn Distillery) All Ireland Cup. Runner Up. (Derry City).
Reserve League. Ass Man. Undefeated Champions. Antrim Trophy. Lost in 4th Round. (Non league team :o). Intermediate Cup. Champions (on pens). U18's League. Ass Man. About 6th-7th. U18's Cup. Lost in 1st Round (on pens). (Cliftonville).
My player of the year. Big fat lardy centre-half who showed that his 22 goals in Season 1 and 16 goals in season 3 weren't a flash in the pan, as he notched another 17 to bring his total for the club to 75 in just 5 seasons. He might take the penalties, but that is still a bit special. Supporters player of the year. Fairly loyal all round striker who notched 24 goals in his 1st season at the club and added a further 16 before injury ended his season prematurely, (and our hopes of league success too).
Season summary.
We equalled the club record of 25 games without defeat, but were unable to extend it. Four trophies and runners up in 2 more competitions sound impressive, but if you discount the Reserve League, (credit must go to the Ass Man), and the Intermediate Suck Ass, (worthless), then you are left with the two poorest of the four senior cups. The Premiership battle was close and almost went to the wire before our fatigued squad simply fell apart. I must admit to being delighted with 2nd spot in the league and the European debut that it will bring next season. I was obviously less happy about losing the final of the All Ireland Suck Ass, (I have a feeling that there is a big cheque for the winner), and don't even get me started about losing to our rivals in the N.Irish Cup, or losing to a non league team in another of the Suck Asses. But more than even that, the thing that annoys me most, is that we lost in the 1st Round of the U18's Cup. That we lost on pens in a game that we dominated made it all the more galling. As if 10 competitions isn't enough to be getting on with, we will be competing in 11 next season as we make our European debut, (at least it will be 11 competitions for a week or so).
Quote:
* Derry City are a team from N.Ireland who have chosen to play in the Republic of Irish League structure, (just think of it like Cardiff or Swansea). As far as I am aware they are the only N.Irish team to have done so. The reasons of this are twofold, (I think).
1. The ROI League structure is of a higher standard, more clubs are professional and there is more money in the game.
2. The ROI League structure changed the timing of their league start and finish dates in order to make it easier for their member clubs to progress in the early stages of European competition.
I am not sure if Derry moved before or after the change.
From Lisburn to Phnom Penh 
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