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if the referee only wants to talk to one person then he should say so (as they normally do), and if that request is ignored, any other player who is still hoarding the ref should be booked.
players bombard the ref because they can get away with it. they need to know its not acceptable.
also with regards to swearing at the ref, a swear word directed at the ref should (at the refs discretion) warrant a card. obviously just swearing at the situation, and not at anybody else should not need punishment