[retired_kikiiscwazy]

Originally posted by H.O.V.I:
Boxing day > Christmas day

Never to early to say that

Always :thup:

[retired_macca1875]

Saw some Christmas stuff in Tesco today, it was almost as bad as their 'back to school' range during the first week of the school holidays.

[DebSchiff]

Oh **** off and get lives. Christmas is great, really, but we should start to treat it as what it is, which is one pleasant day in the year rather than allowing it to swallow up entire months in planning.

Consumer capitalism and a population made up of sentimental retards says different, though.

[retired_navy0614]

Mon dark cold days and nights already. I want to whip out my 70yr old British Naval Greatcoat :cool:

[retired_sahin]

we got sent a catalogue with all the christmas foodstuffs available to order about a month ago

[retired_cowboy69]

Originally posted by Jonno-Blood:
<BLOCKQUOTE>Originally posted by FungusMungus:
<BLOCKQUOTE>Originally posted by Jonno-Blood:
Fcuking Christmas around the corner again first Christmas I'll be 18 though, so could be good.

Probably the only Christmas you'll be 18 tbh </BLOCKQUOTE>

Ha ha ha, you know what I mean. First Christmas being able to legally drink and go out; that better? </BLOCKQUOTE>

much

[retired_shellmac13]

A TIME FOR FAMILY etc

[retired_mountainsong]

A note I wrote last year

For everybody Christmas will be different. Some of us will be adorned with gifts, masses of food, and the love of a tight family unit, while some will be lucky to get socks, and probably are not liked by anybody, especially their family, but for all of us Christmas will probably hold a familiar theme, which is almost everybody loves Christmas, and if you don't you're probably a paedophile, or at the very least a homosexual.

As we all know, Christmas was started in 1684, originally as a defence against foreigners, but over time the lynching part sadly became a lesser part of the festives, and instead, the battered body of a Kosovan was more likely to be replaced with gifts. Despite this culture shock, society bravely battled on, and even in 1722, when Jesus arrogantly tried to steal all the limelight by telling people it was his birthday, the good people just dismissed his attention seeking and decided to concentrate on what makes Christmas great, which is of course having to do nothing, watch TV, and eat an abundance of food whislt listening to older relatives engage in some casual racism.

So this is my festive note, and tomorrow, when the big day comes, you can tell me about your haul of gifts, to which I will either unfairly judge you if you are working class and got a CD and a bag of Hershey's Kisses, or spout jealous bile at you if you parents did well for themselves and get you a nonchalant haul worth thousands of dollars.

Either way, I will remain in a state of holiday nonchalance all the way through the festive season to keep everybody, especially me amused, as well as some Festive facts that will arouse, amaze and offend.


FESTIVE FACT #1

Santa is a registered Sex Offender after committing 3 counts of statutory rape between 1973 and 1976

FESTIVE FACT #2

In the early days of Christmas, there was no traditional exchange of gifts, and instead the townspeople would set things on fire that they didnt want, ranging from clothes and books, to small children and those who suffered from disabilities.

FESTIVE FACT #3

Christmas

FESTIVE FACT #4

Jesus was delcared bankrupt in 1993 after admitting he wasted his fortune on call girls and a heroin addiction lasting over 35 years

FESTIVE FACT #5

Jewish People are RAGING they dont get christmas


Ok so I can see why people might want to dismiss christmas, but I like it for many reasons. Lets face it, if I like it, its definitely good, and my opinion is infinitely more valid than anybody else I know.

REASONS WHY CHRISTMAS IS SMUG

1) Old relatives come to your house and engage in various forms of casual racism

2) Presents

3) TV decides to wisen up and actually show good movies from the 80's like Turner & Hooch and Back to the Future

4) Get to quietly laugh at socially inept Uncle that gets belligerently drunk, and nonchalantly makes wildly inappropriate comments to other guests, only stopping once he has offended everybody, before going for an arrogant nap (Can also be a socially inept Dad)

5) Its not only not rude to nap while guests are present, its actually almost ENCOURAGED you have a smug little nap, that can range anywhere from an hour snooze to an all day slumber depending on how much you like your family/quality of gifts recieved

6) Awesome amount of food and alcohol, that lasts long after everybody has gone home to enjoy for yourself. A professional would hide the best treats for when people have gone home

7) Amusing arguments that ensure when the family decides to play a board game a younger cousin recieved for a gift, but the 2 sides of the family secretly take it deadly seriously, ending in nonchalant beefs

8) Wise sales in the stores the second Christmas decides to leave

DISMISSED

[retired_dbaguado]

We have had xmas cards, wrapping paper etc for ages.