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Old 09-16-2007, 01:12 AM   Dancing on the grave - no over sentimental grief culture in here kthx. Post #41
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Having experienced death on a close level a number of times I would say that it is a personal experience. What I have got from that experience is different from someone who has experienced more or less than me.

As to eulogising some, if it is at their funeral, then I agree that those who are invited should share their feelings for that person. however if the eulogising is on an open forum, then there can be no complaints if someone comes with an opposing view.
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Old 09-16-2007, 01:12 AM   Dancing on the grave - no over sentimental grief culture in here kthx. Post #42
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Quote:
Originally posted by Peacemaker7:
Emotional attachment to death is a funny thing actually. I was going to agree with Zaitsev on the 9/11 7/7 whatever other number thing - it didn't really affect me personally that much and I was going to say that the sheer scale of the numbers perhaps made it hard to attach too.

On the other hand, I've stood on a bay on a Island, where over 100 years ago a whole fleet of fisherman left to go fishing and was virtually wiped out in a storm that came unexpectedly - and felt some sort of emotional thing about that, which is daft.


The problem for me would come when someone I couldn't stand died, but I would probably just try to ignore the thread really.
Again, I completely agree with that. 9/11 didn't affect me at all really, apart from the shock factor at what had happened, I can't say that I felt overly sad for the people who had died, as terrible as that may sound. But again, I wouldn't pop into the thread and start with the jokes, because it is obviously disrespectful and will cause offence, aside from being completely brainless.
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Old 09-16-2007, 01:13 AM   Dancing on the grave - no over sentimental grief culture in here kthx. Post #43
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jongi:
<BLOCKQUOTE>Originally posted by ACou2000:
<BLOCKQUOTE>Originally posted by Zaitsev:
A postscript to the RJ thing - I will respect people's right to mourn if they so wish (although I will try not to let my rolling eyes show), but it's the almost demanding attitude that EVERYONE must grieve in THIS way at THIS time or you're a heartless bastard who doesn't deserve to live.
see this analogy just doesnt carry across to the other thread.

NOBODY was "demanding" others come in and grieve with them

it was the likes of you coming in specifically to show how little you gave a sh*t, which was the pointless and retarded bit </BLOCKQUOTE>

should there be separate threads for those who want to appreciate and those who want to disclaim? </BLOCKQUOTE>

If there are really enough people out there who deem it necessary to specifically mock deaths of people that may have meant something to others, then yeah maybe they should set up their own anti-grief thread.
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Old 09-16-2007, 01:14 AM   Dancing on the grave - no over sentimental grief culture in here kthx. Post #44
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mika:
<BLOCKQUOTE>Originally posted by Peacemaker7:
Emotional attachment to death is a funny thing actually. I was going to agree with Zaitsev on the 9/11 7/7 whatever other number thing - it didn't really affect me personally that much and I was going to say that the sheer scale of the numbers perhaps made it hard to attach too.

On the other hand, I've stood on a bay on a Island, where over 100 years ago a whole fleet of fisherman left to go fishing and was virtually wiped out in a storm that came unexpectedly - and felt some sort of emotional thing about that, which is daft.


The problem for me would come when someone I couldn't stand died, but I would probably just try to ignore the thread really.
Again, I completely agree with that. 9/11 didn't affect me at all really, apart from the shock factor at what had happened, I can't say that I felt overly sad for the people who had died, as terrible as that may sound. But again, I wouldn't pop into the thread and start with the jokes, because it is obviously disrespectful and will cause offence, aside from being completely brainless. </BLOCKQUOTE>

I concur.

Although it sometimes gets a bit emotional hearing individuals stories of 9/11 on the (good) documentaries. Can't help it, family trait of empathy :*(
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Old 09-16-2007, 01:14 AM   Dancing on the grave - no over sentimental grief culture in here kthx. Post #45
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jongi:
if you hate/dislike someone when they are alive, why should you all of a sudden change your tune when that person dies.
what a brilliantly irrelevant comment. no-one is saying you should?
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Old 09-16-2007, 01:15 AM   Dancing on the grave - no over sentimental grief culture in here kthx. Post #46
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Quote:
Originally posted by Zaitsev:
<BLOCKQUOTE>Originally posted by Father Senegal:
Sorry I dont get your point about Rhys Jones at all?
Having been around Liverpool during that ongoing debacle, it's bloody everywhere. Just this overwhelming desire to display sorrow, understanding, solidarity. Honestly, it doesn't matter to me how old he was - plenty of other people have died in this city who were innocent, why do they not receive similar treatment? </BLOCKQUOTE>

I dont think people are trying to display understanding and solidarity at all, quite the opposite, I would think that parents were/are merely showing a level of empathy as to how horrific it must be to lose a child like that in such circumstances (and whilst liverpool is bad I dont think 11 yr olds getting shot dead in drive bys is that commonplace)

Re the celeb thing I do sort of agree in some ways, but then you have to have context, the one celeb death that really did me was David Rocastles, having literally watched his Arsenal career right from the start, met him on a few occasions, I cried for hours when he died.
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Old 09-16-2007, 01:16 AM   Dancing on the grave - no over sentimental grief culture in here kthx. Post #47
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Quote:
Originally posted by dafuge:
<BLOCKQUOTE>Originally posted by Zaitsev:
A postscript to the RJ thing - I will respect people's right to mourn if they so wish (although I will try not to let my rolling eyes show), but it's the almost demanding attitude that EVERYONE must grieve in THIS way at THIS time or you're a heartless bastard who doesn't deserve to live.
When a funeral is held, the mourners attend. They are not interrupted by random people bursting in making jokes every few minutes. Anyone who is not affected by the death stays away. </BLOCKQUOTE>

So the official RIP thread should be given the same status as a funeral?
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Old 09-16-2007, 01:16 AM   Dancing on the grave - no over sentimental grief culture in here kthx. Post #48
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I think Mika and ACou2000 have got it spot on.
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Old 09-16-2007, 01:16 AM   Dancing on the grave - no over sentimental grief culture in here kthx. Post #49
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jongi:
Having experienced death on a close level a number of times I would say that it is a personal experience. What I have got from that experience is different from someone who has experienced more or less than me.

As to eulogising some, if it is at their funeral, then I agree that those who are invited should share their feelings for that person. however if the eulogising is on an open forum, then there can be no complaints if someone comes with an opposing view.
I may be wrong here, but isn't a church considered a public place for funerals in the same way as weddings?
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Old 09-16-2007, 01:16 AM   Dancing on the grave - no over sentimental grief culture in here kthx. Post #50
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for me the deciding factor is whether you are using a public platform. If you are using one then expect the diverse reactions that are inherent from the public.

Disclaimer: Still have not read Zaitsev's commenst and unlikely to do tbh
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