Everton v Middlesboro thread, sponsored by easily understandable thread titles

retired_navy0614 · 09-28-2007, 01:10 AM

That's a lot of sssss in the title. I've nearly exhausted my supply of japes about the Tescodome though so I need some of our lovely neighbours to slip in some new ones.

..I can't find a picture of Everton fan Amanda Holden in aforementioned pink kit alas, so you'll have to make do with Giulia Bould, a Kopite who's apparently making history by being the <STRIKE>first</STRIKE> second female EPL announcer this Sunday, as part of Everton's inexplicable ladies day. I will search high and low and in the worst case, resort to my bad old habits of taking illicit photos from an open window.

Up and down the land Everton fans are frothing at the mouth at Keith "Bully" Wyness being too busy fearing the prospect of someone inserting a question mark into the middle of Stephen Pienaar's name to respond to mass demand and provide these special edition pink shirts to the public, therefore robbing the poor little mites of the perfect present for the missus for Christmas and the perfect excuse to then bang her senseless in it. Bugger.

Furthermore, the viewing population are also to be robbed of the fantastic sight of our <STRIKE>lovely footballers</STRIKE> Captain Pointy in a pink kit for 90 minutes. Preferably at right-back, but Moyes will find an excuse to shove him in to midfield, and patch the ghastly Tony Hibbert up enough to pump a few more balls 10 feet over AJ's head, despite the fact he'll actually be on the bench.

For the ignorant, Sunday represents Everton's second "Ladies Day", with fund raising going on for some cancer charity. A lot of the promotion has seen the delectable Morrisey shagger in a pink Everton shirt, which has led the meltdown as male bitters everywhere risk life and limb to obtain one, only for the marketing department to shambolically decide to raffle them off to the corporates (estimates for how many exist range from 40 to 1000) for ridiculous prices. £1 from each match ticket <STRIKE>dumped by kopite postmen</STRIKE> bought will be donated. Pity Rachael Unitt has been dropped by England, she'd be an awesome pick for the pink. Or Claire Sweeney (as long as you shut her gob). Or that lass from Atomic Kitten. Or the ginger from Girl's Aloud. ...5-a-side sorted then.

Oh yeah, the match. Well, Boro are boring, *****, whatever. Southgate looks a bit gormless, so it'll be up to Everton to, as usual, spectacularly stuff things up due to the flexible tactical genius of Dave Moyes. The godawful Tony Hibbert and the finished Valente are apparently carrying injuries, but all bitters' would much prefer those two to be nowhere near the bench, nevermind the pitch. More build-up to come, I'm off to surprise Amanda Holden with my fujifilm...