retired_steevo93

It's salmon-sized. I'd say three feet long, looking at it now. Fairly hefty.

Ventil

Fishcakes.

retired_eddyloin

Slap her with one.

Though that may not be what you mean by touching it

retired_justin05

What did google yield?

retired_hvporter

*Insert joke about Ceefax and his substance abuses/smoking here*

Good luck on that one. My dad has done it before, but I have no idea how - and that was a big beast.

retired_MikeMcC

if you have no specialist equipment you are going to have lots of fun!

On a serious note, when we hot smoke fish in the kitchen the "tin" we use has a few layers, the first is just a flat, 1/3 cm deep metal sheet which you lay the wood shavings/sawdust on, then there is a tray with deep grooves on ( this layer is important even if you dont smoke liquids because it forms a barrier between what is essentially burning wood, and your foodstuffs ) in which you can put liquids ( such as olive oil or butter ) or grains like couscous ( smoked couscous is fb ) and then a grill type thing on which you can put your meats and fish, this is all enclosed by a metal box except on the side where the metal tray holds the wood shavings/sawdust. Another important thing to consider is the wood you use, the best types are traditional ones such as oak, hickory or cherry ( im sure there are other ones available too, but those are the most common ) and the wood should either be sawdust, or very fine chippings/shavings and should be evenly spread on the bottom layer of metal. you then put the tin on a hob ( at work we use a solid top, as this distribututes heat evenly, but i doubt you have access to one ) making sure the flame is on a medium-high heat ( if it will fit over two flames, even better ) and leave it on the heat for 20-30 mins, then turn the heat off and leave it to cool down naturally ( beware, your kitchen will get very smoky, so leave the windows open and try not to suffocate! )

retired_michman524

It's grown half a foot within 30 minutes \o/

retired_MikeMcC

oh, and it would probably be easier to portion the salmon before you smoke it, asd it will take up less room, and will smoke quicker ( 10-15 mins )

Stings

Slap her with one.

Though that may not be what you mean by touching it </BLOCKQUOTE>

Could also be construed as violence.

retired_steevo93

Hmm there's a high chance I'll end up just slicing it up and having salmon steaks. Just trying to figure out how many of those I'll get out of this five-foot bohemoth.