m0leman

basically, my girlfriend decided to do the cliched thing of stealing a big jumper/sweater from me, and wearing it all the time around the house and stuff. that was 3 years ago, she left it on a boat a few days ago and is disproportionately gutted about it (its a cruddy jumper ffs)

long shot but can anyone find another one for me, had a look on ebay, but no luck, alternative suggestions welcome, slight smattering of innuendo/your girlfriends a tw*t acceptable.

it was a baby blue colour, with a big white silver surfer on the front

commence

Blink2k

i'll have a look on my parents boat, just in case it was their boat where she lost it :thup:

Razzler

I thought you might want me to have sex with her and do really badly thus making her appreciate you all the more.

That i can do.

Jumper relocation is not my thing

Asmodeus

Cottager was mumbling something about a jumper a while back, perhaps he is actually your girlfriend, or stole it

Pickles

is this her?

Pickles

any good?

Razzler

If you want to make her feel worse than tell her that she must have subconsciously left it on purpose and maybe that's how she feels about you. Act all upset about it. Cruel, passes the time though

m0leman

that, my friend is an excellent idea! might do that just for a laugh, serve her right for getting so upset over a jumper.

by the way, i'm not asking for someone to find the actual jumper, as that'll be somewhere in the bahamas

nice try pickles, but no on both accounts

Razzler

There's nothing like slow mental torture to show you care tbh really lay it on, she'll know you're joking but deep down a little of her wont be sure and she'll try a little harder

Razzler

Something else, you're kinda looking for another jumper. Just go and get any old jumper, really rubbish though, maybe too small. Leave it a few weeks, drop in that you've been speaking to the boat company, etc trying to get it back as it's important to her so it's important to you.

Mention you hope they'd send it, really build it up. Then bring her round (if you dont live together) and tell her that you want to show her something, act like you're excited but are giving it away - she'll feel clever that she "read you"

Then, when she's at yours, give her some speech, "i know how much it meant / first time we met / meant alot to me too although i didnt show it / it took time and money to get it back but i realise how important it was and then when it's at it's peak go and pull out some sh1tty, horrible, completely wrong colour jumper that is 2 sizes too small and act all serious in saying the boat people sent it back ... watch her face