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there's no easy way to do this, surely? you can go on breaks, take some off from eachother, see other people and give eachother some room, but in the end it's better to just use strong words - albeit in a good conversation.
the reason I ask? I've been in a relationship for over a year now, and it's not working anymore, for me at least. I feel she's still madly in love with me, and we've said from the start we'd be honest whenever the feeling's gone a bit missing. that time has come, yet I'm a coward. don't take this as narcism, but I'm scared she'll be devastated. I'm her first big relationship, and I think she's still confident of us going quite some distance.
it's just best to do it now, before the end of year cycle hits full speed - papers, exams, lots and lots of work, right? christ, I'm bad at this.
There is no good way, and the situation you depict is scarily similar to my latest. Just cast off any pretense at remaining friends and hope she gets over it.