BlueSky

Been there, done that! Been the depressed singleton sitting at home saturday nights eating the tub of Ben and Jerrys and watching crap sad movies. It was a long time ago.

I think you just have to feel comfortable yourself with being single. As i said a few pages ago, there are people out there who can not be single, they jump from one relationship to another. Maybe im just me, but i dont think you can "learn" by doing that.

retired_brynnlou

hahaha, i said almost exactly the same thing to y mate when he broke up with his last serious g'f

he was basically going out and engaged with a girl for 5 years. broke up with her, within a few months was going out with someone else (basically the first girl who showed an intrest.

that lasted a few months, they broke up and the same thing happenned again. first girl tht showed an intrest.

lasted a year before it all went titsw up and he was devestated (i really don't know why, the girl was a bit of a dick and she wasn't exactly good looking enough to pull that off) but i said to him his problem was that he just HAD to be with someone.

he was depressed for ages, but i basically told him he needed to spend time by himself and be happy being alone otherwise he'll just end up in another sh*t relationship and wil end up feeling just as unhappy again when he breaks up.

fair play to him, he didn't just automatically assume that because he'd been in relationships for so much longer than me that my advice was ********, he heeded my advice and basically just did the dating thing with loads of people instead of commiting to anything. think he went without sex for months too, from like november last year until maybe febuary this year, but he eventually started habving fun being single again so if this new thing doesn't work out for him at least he'll know when he breaks up that being single can be fun, his rblem was he just had no experience of it.

there are advantages to both, obviously everyone wants to be paired up for good at some stage but the trick is to behappy enough alone that you'll not accept second best until there really is no other choice, but the thing that fills me with cnfidence now is that you see so many, erm, elder singletons out there too, you don't have to be settled down by the time you're 30 anymore, there's plenty of fun to be had well into your late 30s before you have to find a life partner. two of the people i know from the matches are both in their 40s and only got married a couple of years back. both know if they'd met when they were 20 they wold never have lasted, but they're such a perfect match it's unbelievable, i dunno why some people are in such a rush sometimes.

trotamundos

Hah, so remember my bravado at being over the ex? got an email from her at lunchtime and now feel like utter utter poo.

****

**** **** ****

trotamundos

And yeah, I'm not going to be one of those "must be in relationship" people. I almost did it last year, but realised I was doing it because someone was showing interest, and stopped it there and then.

retired_selvinel

thats w@nk btw

BlueSky

Theres always that stigma of being elder and a singleton. I remember i was seeing someone, 35, no strings, no kids, no crazy ex wife. The 1st thing my friends asked, "whats wrong with him" :kris102:
In the end the age was a bit much and we drifted, but we did speak about him being single and playing the field at 35, i never saw any harm in it.

BlueSky

If i could give you a cuddle, i would

Block her email address?

trotamundos

I should do really. First contact of any kind since February, so it's a bit out of the blue.

FFS, this is really annoying. No idea why this has got to me.

BlueSky

So your not as strong as you thought, so what? Shes still out of your life. Block the email address (and i know its hard to do) and just remember why your not with her anymore.

retired_linton_justin

Yeah i’d def agree with you here. Ive been single now for longer than id care to remember, partly because ive just been so busy over the last few years ive just not had the time to “go looking” as it were, and partly because, lets face it, I just don’t rate myself as a particularly attractive person.

But im lucky enough to have plenty of single friends which has certainly helped. Ive never been one to go off “on the pull”, mainly because ive never had the confidence, but the girls I have been out with have just happened without me trying.

I prefer to keep my life busy, I certainly wont be able to sit around sulking at the single life when im out pretty every weekend enjoying myself