Ruh Roh

So...yeah. LLM, eh? As a long-time lurker and a no-time poster, I decided I'd get in on this stuff...

Leagues Loaded: Bulgaria, Croatia, England, Germany, Greece, Romania, Russia, Serbia, Slovenia, Turkey, Ukraine
Database: Large

The randomize button gave me "Dinamo Zagreb," but there was no way I was gonna play as an actual good team. I did, however, decide Croatia was a good idea, and after looking through the Croatian Second Division I settled on Moslavina.

This was mostly because of their nifty orange home kits, but also because of the media prediction of 14th. Not too good, not too awful either. Maybe this is a lot I can keep up. Maybe.

First thing I do is put an advert out for scouts, since our only staff to begin with is a useless assman, a uselesser coach and a pretty acceptable physio. There was an excellent turnout to the ad, I think we got around ten names. I offered contracts to three of them, only to find that one would rather work for Hajduk Split. That's a mistake that he's gonna regret! Not. But the other two guys were good enough for our level, one of them with double digits in both attributes that matter.

My scouts, my assman and I look over the initial squad. Okay, it's mostly me. But still, I find that there's some surprisingly decent players here. They include Solid CB, and three (or four, memory's fleeting even though I just played this out yesterday) other good players who get poached quite quickly. Damn amateur contracts.

So, yeah. Those two scouts of mine have a lot of work to do. And work they do, as we bring in a decent number of players in on frees. Among this crop are illustrious names like Aging Bosnian Keeper, Aging Bosnian Forward, Crushingly Inconsistent Wingback, Nondescript Mediocre Bosnian Winger, Centerback Who Enjoys Conceding Penalties, The Croatian, The Other And Older Croatian, Aging Bosnian Defensive Midfielder and Oft-Injured Fellow Who Once Played In China.

Yeah, we're screwed from the get-go. The guys we really want go to better teams than ours, and we're forced to scramble for scrubs, geriatrics and guys who just don't try.

We stumble out of the gate with an 0-1-5 record in friendlies against some teams which should be worse than us, some teams which should be better and some teams which should be around the same. Of note was a 6-2 drubbing in Romania against "ACU Arad," whoever that is.

The stumbling continues, as we're down the table early despite a decent Croatian Cup run, where we're finally put away in the quarters by first division Osijek. We make a link with a parent club, NK Varteks. Nothing else happens in the first half of the year. The Other, Older Croatian Jon Stead puts in some good performances here (including one hat trick), but he tapers off towards the end of the season.

Apparently in Croatia there's a mid-season break. I was not aware of this. Neither were my players, apparently, as they managed to lose a respectable six straight friendlies. I was actually playing those matches, too. I just gave the first batch to my assman.

First game back, we lose. Second game back, it's a 4-4 tie. We scored the first four goals. It was at this point where I figured we were just about relegated. We were sitting in 14th/15th place for the entirety of the season, and 14th is a relegation spot. We basically showed ourselves to have no collective heart whatsoever. However, I whip the bastards in shape to the tune of...three straight losses...before a win away against a superior side. Sweet.

After that, we go on one of our patented four game losing streaks before drawing the league leaders. Thankfully, the rest of the ass end of the league sucks just as much as we do, around. There's two games left and we're in 14th, six points off of a safety spot. Down, very down, but not technically down. The two teams we have our next games against are the teams directly in our way. If we win the next two matches and results go our way elsewhere, we can sneak into safety and send one poor bunch of bastards down to the obscurity of a "Croatian Third Divsion," assuming one exists.

We host a team meeting, as Solid CB (who is the captain) gives an impassioned speech telling the rest of the lads that survival is on the line. Only one player is noted as listening: his name is Aging Bosnian Forward. Well, that isn't his real name, but for purposes of this story it might as well be. Despite his dire stats and form so far, the old carthorse puts two past the netminder of Solin, which is one more than they put past ours. Yay! A vital 2-1 win for Moslavina!

We go into our next match at Vinogradar knowing we need not only the three points, but we need the results to go our way elsewhere since Vinogradar drew their last match. If Solin lose and we win, we're in the 13th and final safety spot. Solin are playing...Slavonac, who have been propping the rest of the league up quite admirably all year. Crap.

We do our part at Vino, surprisingly enough. None other than Aging Bosnian Forward is the lone goalscorer. Vino already won their safety, they probably weren't up for the game quite as much as we were. It's up to our friends in Slavonac to keep us in the division...

...and they do it, with a 2-1 win over Solin! Solin are down, we're up and the 74 (lol) season ticket holders of Moslavina are drinking happily tonight!

Final Table

2008/09
Club: Moslavina
Expectations: 14th in Croatian Second Division
Finish: 13th in Croatian Second Division
Points: 25

Moslavina MVP: Solid CB (28 starts, no sub appearances, no goals, 2 assists, 2 MoM performances, 6.90 average rating)
Top Scorer: Aging Bosnian Forward (30 starts, 2 sub appearances, 11 goals, 3 assists, 4 MoM performances, 6.81 average rating)
Players Whose Names End In -Ic: Too Many To Count

Sancho

welcome Ruh,

Updates require a minimum of three seasons, so make sure you update pronto....
Also, try and shorten your text, it is pretty long!
otherwise, enjoy LLM!

Guinness79

Update, meaning a short recap, not story, which would be what you wrote.

And three seasons, as was aforementioned.

mkus

I'd have hoped that a long-time lurker would have a feel for how to do updates

Victa

What the other poofs said - brevity is the key. Otherwise, welcome officially to the wide LLaMa world and see you in another two seasons.

Church

Aging Bosnian Keeper, Aging Bosnian Forward, Crushingly Inconsistent Wingback, Nondescript Mediocre Bosnian Winger, Centerback Who Enjoys Conceding Penalties, The Croatian Jon Stead, The Other And Older Croatian Jon Stead, Aging Bosnian Defensive Midfielder and Oft-Injured Fellow Who Once Played In China.



Please do not name players.

Church

Made a total mess of that, didn't I. :o

Klipdrift

To be honest, yes...

mkus

And you kept the player naming in. You should be banned, Church.

Miaus

Just a short comment Ruh.

ACU Arad are a Romanian team playing in the 3rd tier of Romanian football.

They are famous