retired_hamawandi

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by vitchington:
This is a good one! Excellent characters and some brilliant one liners. I hope Dawson makes it back and plays again one day. Keep it up!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Thanks, I'm writing mostly from my notes, as my computer at home is mangled up. Its basically focused on one players life, with some artistic licence for his personal life! What happened to Michael Dawson in my CM game was quite interesting, so i decided to write a story about it. Read on to find out more about his ailing career!!!

retired_hamawandi

November 18th 2010

McReginalds Fast Food Restaurant, Slough

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday dear Michael,
Happy Birthday to you.

McReginalds restaurant in Slough was the venue for Michaels 27th birthday party. In attendance was Joe Cole, and Arthur the Gnome. Additionally Luke Chadwick was there too, having made friends with Michael during Spurs' pre-season training. His good form during November was a good reason for Michael to have sent him an invitation. Most of the rest of the squad were there, excepting Hao Hao who wasn't invited due to the pathological, and irrational dislike of him by Dawson. Heskey wasn't there either, as he was decorating his Old Folks Home with some smashing new Pansies.

It was a top party, his best friend Joe Cole, the Southampton and England captain summed it all up when he gave a rousing speech at the end:

It's Michael's Birthday today, and we need to give him credit for that. He gave 110% at the end of the day.

That was one of the things he liked about Joe. He always had something eloquent for every occasion.

He had other reason to celebrate too, Spurs had won a couple of games very convincingly after Adu had started to pull the strings placed just behind the front pairing of Landon Donovan and Emile Heskey. Coupled with the teams around them losing, Tottenham were nicely ensconced in 13th place, with a tight table ahead of them. A win in the next game could potentially lift them to 9th. A good springboard to rid themselves of the shaky start they had inflicted upon themselves. The key turning point had been the 7-1 victory over Newcastle, struggling under the tutelage of David Seaman. Hurrah!

retired_hamawandi

Christmas 2010

Improving steadily in the league, Spurs had let their form desert them in the Champions League and had missed out on round two. Losing their remaining games after a great start hadn't been good. Spurs players felt lousy, after finishing bottom of that group, missing out on 3rd by a point.

Reflecting on this half season, the Spurs board had sacked Steve McLaren on the 9th of December after a home defeat by Crystal Palace. A new manager was installed in the shape of Kevin Keegan, jobless for the last 3 years after his sacking from Burnley. By Christmas, with the club *only* in eighth place, and out of Europe and the League Cup, the Spurs supporters began to sing lewd songs about Michael Dawson and Minty Tallulah to amuse themselves.

All things considered, it was going shockingly badly and Spurs were useless again.

retired_hamawandi

New Years Day, 2011

Chez Dawson

Looking resplendent in his pink silk nightie, Michael Dawson elegantly cruised down the bannisters of his palatial residence, using his plastered leg as a rudder. Things were looking up for him. As well as recieving a belated Christmas card from the mysterious Minty Tallulah, she, via her agent had agreed to come round for afternoon tea. The reason for his silk nightie was a requirement for an air of sophistication about his person, which he felt was sure to guarantee him some credit from the woman he called 'Minty'. Which was what everyone else called her too.

At three o'clock exactly, a pink Jaguar pulled up outside the front door and bit the security guard's leg. Michael put his wayward pet back in to her large vat of paint and went back to the house in anticipation.

At seventeen minutes past three, on the whistle, he heard the rumble of tyres on his gravel drive and saw a vast motorcade, stretching as far as the eye could see approaching his house.

Making nervously excited bowel sounds Michael opened the door and hugged politely the perfectly formed figure of Minty Tallulah and welcomed her for afternoon tea.

retired_hamawandi

Ah, what a delightful day it had turned out to be. They enjoyed a fine cup of tea, and scones, and talked about the weather and state of the economy in the military state of Myanmar, formely Burma. His thirst for intelligent conversation finally met. He showed her Arthur the Gnome, and she loved the wee figurine. They pranced around the garden, singing happily and it was simply too good to be true.

At six minutes to five precisely, Minty announced she would be leaving. He walked her to her large, expensive looking car, and within minutes, the huge motorcade was but a speck of dust in the distance.

Happily, he walked back to his house, closed the door and chanced upon a note, left to him by the recently departed songstress.

Dear Michael, We cannot carry on this forbidden romance. It breaketh my heart to tell you this. We cannot see each other again. My heart killeth me with sorrow, as your feet killeth me with thine smell. But I remain truly yours, forever. All my love, Minty Tallulah.

Michael broke down and wept.

There was no way he would let their afternoon tea of true bliss be their last. He would pursue the womans love once more, and ultimately have her round for a spot of Dinner, perhaps on a tuesday sometime. His resolve strengthened, and with a still heavy heart, he went off to watch another Christmas Special of Only Fools and Horses.

retired_hamawandi

January 4th 2011

Tottenham v Bristol City, F.A. Cup 3rd Round

retired_hamawandi

Michael treated himself with a trip to watch Spurs host Third Division Bristol City at home in the cup, as a way to dilute the sadness he was feeling at his loss of Minty Tallulah after an all too brief encounter. After 7 minutes he had reason to cheer when Adu embarked on a mazy run from midfield, made it all the way to the box before skewing his shot onto the post. Jermaine Jenas was on hand to pop it back into the net, and the ground erupted. After 17 minutes, the Spurs 'keeper Richard Evans, the Welsh international fouled young City forward Julius Gee, who slotted home the penalty with the arrogant fashion of a Frenchman hurling a fish at a wall. The game descended into a possession game in midfield with a few bookings being the order of the day. Michael started dreaming about Minty, but was stirred by the cheers when prolific youngster Jamie Crosby flicked in a near post header from a corner to put Spurs in front after 45. After half time, the half fit Landon Donovan came off for Ben May, who in a rare appearance managed to stake a claim for a more regular starting place with a spectacular second half brace. On 67 he punted in a speculative shot from 35 yards which left the City 'keeper with his backside firmly ensconced on the turf. On 87 a towering back post header looped high into the air before somehow sneaking in under the bar. It finished 4-1, and passage to the next round was guaranteed. Michael felt happy at this, but wished he was playing. Spurs were awful in the league, and were bound to lose to Chelsea next weekend.

retired_hamawandi

February 19th 2011

Chez Dawson

As susepected, Spurs had lost that game against Chelsea 4-0, and had lost a few others too, and were rather rubbishly in 14th place.

To detract from his disappointment, he had popped down to Camden Market to get some pirate DVD's to watch. When he got home, and popped them in the DVD drive he realised he had purchased Long John Silver: The Movie starring Martin Clunes and Samuel L. Jackson as the voice of his parrot (the parrot with 'attitude'), and he had also purchased Swashbuckling for Beginners, narrated by Mr T from the A-Team.

It was the wrong sort of pirate DVD. He then remembered that he had been charged 17 golden doubloons and a bag of silver for them. Oh he felt such a fool.

retired_hamawandi

March 2011

Gulbuddin Hekmatyars Coffee House, Hackney

Having a quiet muffin and pot of tea at this friendly establishment, Michael mused over the still painful loss of Minty Tallulah, the love of his life. She had not been seen in public for quite some time, and was rumoured to be penning some new songs for an album at an unspecified location in Cornwall, with well known rap maestro DJ Mr Kool Songz Bo Yeah Rewind. He sighed and looked at the wall, decorated with pictures of Gulbuddin during his days as Mayor of Kabul during the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan. The man himself, in a marvellous frilly apron brought him out a delightfully dressed scone and pranced out of the back door again. Gratefully, Michael perused upon the scone as though it were a hat waiting to be worn. He decided that he needed to get over Minty, and fast. Besides, his cast was coming off soon and he'd be able to do light training. He put his coat on, finished his tea, and lingeringly glanced at Gulbuddins favourite picture, the one illustration that he was the only mayor ever to bomb his own city. He left £3.26 on the table for the reformed rebel-cum-teashop owner.

Later at home, Michael prised open his plaster cast and looked down at his leg. It was looking better. He looked forward to washing the manky bits off and starting the long process of getting over Minty. He flicked on teletext to see Spurs were beating Norwich 1-0 and cheered, and high-fived his gnome. Life, was perhaps getting better.

retired_hamawandi

April 12th 2011

Darren Anderton Memorial Physiotherapy Centre, White Hart Lane

Proudly limping into the Physiotherapy centre, named after the Spurs icon who had all the injuries ever known to man, Dawson was met by the club physio and sat on his knee.

Son, you're looking good. Your leg, although pale and flaky is well on the road to recovery and we're going to try some light exercises.

Super-duper, thought Michael, as he propped his crutches against the Paul Gascoigne Memorial Bar doors.

Slowly, and obviously in more than a little pain, Michael hobbled across the room, as the physio cheered him on. When he'd got to the opposite side of the room he was sweating like a cauliflower in a car wash.

Feeling pleased with himself, Michael and the Physio did some muscle warming exercises and after an hour, he summoned his chauffeur, McHugh O'McScottish to drive him back to his palatial country pile for a bit of relaxation.

On the way back, he became engrossed in conversation with the high pitch voiced, but dour Scotsman with a Chinese accent all about Spurs' current fortune.

Aye laddie, they need ye back arrr harrrrrr

Michael nodded in concurrence.

Its a big lood of doggy doo's at the moment. I cannae believe we're only 8th, after winning the league only a few years ago now.

Gazing melodramatically out of the window, Michael thought about the run in. Spurs had 5 games left, against relegation fodder opposition and had the chance to finish as high as sixth. which would be considered more than adequate after a mediocre season. He felt good about the next season, with a good few youngsters making a name for themselves, such as Jamie Crosby. He'd be back too, to shore up a defence that had conceded more goals than there are fish in the sea (excluding the Dead Sea because it is too salty.) On the International front, England were almost definitely going to qualify for Euro 2012, and the defence was meaner than an angry bee. It was unlikely he'd make it back to the International fold. Nevertheless, he was on the road to recovery. Actually, he was on the motorway but for the sake of literature that's not relevant.