retired_hamawandi

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by vitchington:
"Championship Menagerie 4" Genius! I've heard that Championship Menagerie 03/04 is a bit more playable though! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Thats absolutely true. Championship Menagerie 4 was riddled with bugs. All Michaels elephants turned into parrots after a year at the zoo, and the zoo expansion bug meant that his zoo was larger in size than Canada. Tragic shame really.

Rich

retired_hamawandi

August 30th 2011

Liverpool vs Tottenham

This was a day Michael Dawson would strive to forget, after Liverpool scored 3 in the first ten minutes, and he was stretchered off after 23 with a suspected knee injury. Anthony Le Tallec burst through after 13 seconds to open the scoring after Lewis and Dawson were caught napping. Scottish youngster Keith Ferguson curled in from 35 yards a minute later, and on ten minutes scored a second after a missed tackle by Dawson allowed him a clear run on goal, which he converted with ease. Tottenhams problems in the game were compounded after Michael Dawson turned awkwardly on the turf as he received a ball from Richard Evans, the 'keeper. He looked in a lot of pain as he came off, clutching his knee and wincing. Tottenham to their credit scored a reply late in the second half through a David Head penalty, but the damage was done. A first defeat of the season, and an apparently serious injury to one of the best defenders in the league. More news as it comes.

retired_hamawandi

August 30th 2011

Liverpool General Hospital

Michael lay in his hospital bed, wincing with pain, crying out for his Gnome. The doctors sedated him, and he calmed a little. He remembered being given some sort of anaesthetic, and everything went black.

After waking, he felt completely groggy, but the pain in his kneecap was excruciating. He buzzed the little buzzy thing by his bead, and a Doctor clad in a trilby and colourful scarf emerged from a police box in the corner of the ward.

Hello Michael, he purred, I am Doctor Hugh, and I'll be looking after you.

Michael nodded somewhat pathetically and asked the doctor what was wrong with him.

Ahhhh, cruciate ligament injury. Its been operated on, and you'll be alright except you'll be playing no football whatsoever for a year, maybe more. But its not the end of the workd you know, its a really nice day outside.

Michael resisted the temptation to punch the doctor in the face.

Spurs lost 3-1, by the way and all 3 conceded goals were your fault. I bid you good evening. Nurse Haggis will be up shortly to give you a bath.

Michael went green.

Nooooooooooooooooo!, he screamed.

retired_hamawandi

August 31st 2011

Liverpool General Hospital, Psychiatric Wing

Michael had admitted himself to the Psychiatric Wing after the bath administered to him by Nurse Haggis caused him to lose the power of independent thought and speech. Soap had gone in places Michael never knew existed, and he just couldn't shake the image printed into his brain of those large hairy hands.

After a treatment of highly potent brain chemicals, Michael was passed fit to leave, although he was quite content to stay a little longer blowing bubbles in the corner.

McHugh arrived in Michaels favourite car, his Aston Martin DB9 and transported him home. Michael noticed teeth marks on McHugh's head.

Aye tha's nuthin Mike, just your Leopard collection treed to scalp me this mornin'

Michael shrugged nonchalantly. Thats what McHugh was paid to do.

He got home and found that the usual crop of Animal Rights Protesters were intermingled with press photographers desperate for pictures, and the full lowdown on Michaels knee.

He got McHugh to carry him to bed, and the dour Scotsman with a high pitched Chinese accent tucked him up, where he fell asleep clutching Arthur the Gnome in his arms, waiting for tomorrow.

retired_hamawandi

Dawson Suffers New Injury, and Spends Day in Psychiatric Unit

Michael Dawson's bad luck continued after his latest injury when he allegedly admitted himself to a Psychiatric Ward, albeit only for a day. Michael will be out for between 12 and 13 months, which will come as a blow to him as he will not be playing football again until he is approaching 29. Two years of his football career have been eradicated due to freak injuries, and we wonder just how long he'll be able to cope. His admission to a Psychiatric Ward came as no surprise to me, however as I always knew he was a total crackpot. I suspect Michael is losing it, and I, Boris Broomstick will lead the brave fight to see Michael committed to a lunatic asylum, so that he can fully receive treatment for whatever extreme problem he seems to be suffering.

B.Broomstick

retired_hamawandi

September 1st 2011

Chez Dawson

Michael sipped his morning coffee and chucked the paper away in disgust. How did the press get hold of the story of him being in a Psychiatric Unit. One of the Doctors, possibly doctor Hugh, had probably sold the tale to the tabloids.

It was the last thing on Michaels mind, having suffered another career threatening injury, which had put a general dampener on things really. He had to rummage about for his old crutches to get around, and found that his technique wasn't as good as when he'd broken his leg.

His knee felt as though someone was continuously bashing it with a spade, and every time he moved it he yelped in pain. There was nothing more he could do until the agony subsided, so he loaded up Championship Menagerie 4 on his laptop and decided to amble away the time making his zoo/farmyard the best in the world.

retired_hamawandi

Championship Menagerie 4

He loaded up a new game, and opted to open a farm, as opposed to a zoo. He named it MikeWerld (sic) and began by purchasing several cows for a nominal fee from a farm in Chesterfield.

They quickly produced a set of baby calves who he sold to a large Japanese consortium in Tokyo for a hefty profit. This allowed him to invest in two Ring Tailed Lemurs, an ice-cream shop and a much needed toilet.

He upped the entrance fees as people discovered the hidden delights of MikeWerld (sic) and this allowed him to put up razor wire fences to stop travelling folk from setting up a hippy commune by the newly acquired sheep barn.

He was making a fair bit of money wheeling and dealing until he finished the year in 7th place in the 'League of Farms (UK Division)'.

His second year proved a disaster. His cows were all poached. along with his sheep, by a Liverpudlian Zoo entrepreneur for a ridiculously low minimum release clause and he unwisely invested the money in Frankenstein masks for O.A.P's which didn't really catch on.

Finally his only hope was that his Ring Tailed Lemurs started to breed as that would guarantee a lucrative profit, and maybe a designer footwear deal or two.

After 3 years of frustration with his Lemurs failing to reproduce, he worked out the main root of the problem.

His male Lemur was gay.

At this point Michael lost patience with the game and threw his laptop out of the window. He would have to find some other way to amuse himself.

FitMom

lol your an excellent writer...
ive not read any of these stories before, but i thought id give this one a quick looksie, so i read the last post you made... have ended up reading about 15 posts....
but someone, please tell me...what does KUTGW mean

retired_hamawandi

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Skuzzy:
lol your an excellent writer...
ive not read any of these stories before, but i thought id give this one a quick looksie, so i read the last post you made... have ended up reading about 15 posts....
but someone, please tell me...what does KUTGW mean <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

cheers mate,

i'm not too sure myself but i think it means keep up the good work!

Rich

retired_embartl

it does oh and KUTGW