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The deeply lined face glanced at the journalist, "So, you want to know what it was like? For me it started as the worst of times, but..."
***
I was bitter.
Oh, was I bitter. A lifetime of playing football- down the drain. Bryan Bellhorn- banned from International Football.
Oh sure, the Federation threw me a bone. 'They' wouldn't stand in the way of my coaching- in fact here is your certificate. Bah, they knew what the chances of anyone hiring me were. Everything was in ruins- everything. My own personal hell as I knew it.
Amazingly, someone gave me another chance. Maybe not so amazingly as divinely, whatever it was it turned out to be a lifeline. Not that coaching at East Stirlingshire was exactly a peach of a job- but during my two years, we improved and though Brian Ross got the majority of the credit- I got enough to be noticed for something besides my past.
Another huge break came. Pat Nevin was managing Motherwell and knew me from playing on the National side. He asked me to come aboard as Assistant Manager when Miodrag Krivokapic was selected to manage the Yugoslavia National Side. Ah, I see you remember some of the circumstances now. Yes, that was when Pat got sick. I still don't think they know quite what ailed him- but he was certainly out of it for a long time- glad to know that he has fully recovered now.
I had only been at Motherwell only a month when that happened. I wasn't sure what would happen with Nevin completely out of the picture, but lacking alternatives the Board decided to turn the club over to me on an interim basis.
Was I still bitter? Oh, yes- it was still eating me up then. It took me a long time to drain away that particularly dreadful fruit of anguish. The two years at East Stirling had not taken the sting away, the pain and feelings were still as fresh as salt on a wound.
You have to understand I was one of the few Scots that really enjoyed playing in France. I was mostly happy on the pitch, since the country still wasn't too hospitable- but I was content there and we were successful- playing for the title and in Europe for those several seasons. It was my own pride that blinded me I guess, but it wouldn't have mattered in hindsight. They wanted more Frenchmen in the side- I guess they were catching some flak in the press on it- and they started with me. I thought I was doing great, but when I came to summer training, I was suddenly an outcast. Didn't understand it a bit- I wasn't overly popular- but I also wasn't disliked.
It would have been bad enough to have just lost my starting role, but that didn't satisy the Manager (sorry, I refuse to dignify him with a name). He took it upon himself to assassinate me- my reputation as a player- my ability- my determination- my heart. By the time he was through, not only was everyone doubting me- I was doubting myself. It was bad.
The incident? It is painful, but I think the brooming from France was worse. No excuses, what I did was wrong, and it certainly ended my playing career- but..and I don't care if you believe my side or not..I would do it again. It wasn't my intention to confront that referee after the match, it just sort of happened. When he told me that all Scotsmen were dirty lying ****...well, at least I broke his jaw. Created quite an International incident too, didn't I? Of course he wasn't about to tell the truth on his comments. And of course with my word against his- they were going to take his. Especially after the hatchet job on my reputation.
Anyway, by the time I wound up at the helm of Motherwell, you might have called me xenophobic. If it wasn't Scottish- I wouldn't have anything to do with it. That was true when I got control- you might remember the initial stir when I sold off all the non-Scottish players? It upset the squad for awhile, but they actually believed me when I told them we were now the lions- the hunters...
***
Game Notes- CM 01-02 with Scotland and England (down to Division 3) active- Large DB
01-08-2004, 06:35 AM
When We Were Lions (Lisbon Lions Challenge) Post #2
You know a lot of people, including some of the staff there at Motherwell thought I was nuts when I made my lions comment to the players. That didn't matter to me, because I had the belief that this group could be successful. We were young- very young- and that was certainly working against us, but I was willing to stake my club against any because I really believed this group of players could do wonders- given time and patience.
Here, let me show you some pictures from that first season. Oh, you didn't realize I kept mementos? All of that shelf is books filled with clippings-pictures and other foofarah from those years. Yes, certainly you can use whatever you need to tell the story- I don't mind.
Ah, here is a good one. Brownie, Connolly and Woods- my keeper trio. Mark was a fine keeper and a solid performer to build the club around. Connolly was a good pairing with him- he had talent too. In fact I know we wouldn't have had much success if we hadn't had those two to lean on- they allowed our young club to know they could usually get away with small mistakes- and that was important in the early going.
This one is the backline we started with- a very good core unit with depth as well. Our regulars were Steven Hammell at leftback, Alan Archibald and Richard Montgomery in the middle and Martyn Corrigan at rightback. Then there was Brian McAllister, Barry McLaughlin, Eddie Forrest, Steven Tweed, Tom Cowan and Scott McNiven. Paul Parkin and Brian Dempsie spent their time on the reserves because I wanted them playing all the time at their respective fullback slots. They were a good unit- I was really pleased to start my first season with this strong of a group- even if they were also pretty young.
Our midfield- yes a lot of people continue to comment on them. No, he wasn't here just yet- I will mention him shortly. This was taken before the first match. From the left is Stephen Pearson, Steven Nicholas, Keith Lasley, Martin Fotheringham, Willie Howie, Stuart Davidson, Doug Ramsay, Billy McKinlay, Scott Leitch, Billy Macdonald, Stephen Cosgrove and James McFadden. Pearson was a key player. I knew he could be the playmaker for us, but I needed to convince him of his ability- remember he was only 19 at the time. Paired with Nicholas and Lasley, they were a solid starting group. No, Fotheringham was 18 and I wanted him to develop into a more significant role- so he was an alternate back then. The midfield needed to be the strength of the club and even then I knew we were on the right track with these players.
Here is one with our forwards. Yes, that is Michael Craig on crutches- he had a bum ankle and was out for awhile to start the season. I was pleased that he was one of our first signees off the free list. There is our initial tandem up front- Kevin Twaddle and Martin Wood. Twaddle was underrated, he was our first captain as well. Wood had talent, but he was only 19 as well- so I wasn't sure how good he could be then. That one is Jermaine McSporran, the one we got from Wycombe. Those two are Jason Young and Sean Christie- they both came on cheap transfer purchases. Also there was Neil Tarrant, but he was on loan from Aston Villa and they wouldn't sell him when I offered and that one is John Fallon.
Privately, the Board had told me they would be pleased if we could avoid relegation this season. I listened and kept my mouth shut and nodded and smiled. Even then I was convinced that we could perform better than that expectation, but I certainly didn't want to suffer from 'hoof-in-mouth' disease at that point.
<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">GK1 Brown, Mark GK SCO 2025 Connolly, John GK SCO 2013 Woods, Steven GK SCO 31BACKLINE3 Hammell, Steven D/DM L SCO 1939 Cowan, Tom D L SCO 3227 Dempsie, Brian D LC SCO 1835 Archibald, Alan D LC SCO 235 McAllister, Brian D LC SCO 3133 McLaughlin, Barry D C SCO 2832 Montgomery, Richard D LC SCO 1918 Forrest, Eddie D C SCO 2229 Tweed, Steven SW/D C SCO 2920 Wilson, Scott D/M C SCO 192 Corrigan, Martyn SW/D/M RC SCO 2431 McNiven, Scott D RC SCO 23- Parkin, Paul D RC SCO 18- McGhee, David D R SCO 20MIDFIELD24 Lasley, Keith M C SCO 224 McFadden, James DM LC SCO 1821 Harvey, Paul AM C SCO 3322 McKinlay, Billy DM C SCO 328 Leitch, Scott DM C SCO 32- Macdonald, Billy DM C SCO 2528 Clarke, David DM LC SCO 18 17 Pearson, Stephen AM C SCO 196 Howie, Willie AM C SCO 1912 Cosgrove, Stephen M RC SCO 207 Nicholas, Steven F RC SCO 2036 Fotheringham, Martin AM RLC SCO 1815 McDonald, Kevin AM/F R SCO 1838 Davidson, Stuart M R SCO 2223 Ramsay, Douglas M RC SCO 22FORWARD11 Twaddle, Kevin F RLC SCO 3034 McSporran, Jermaine F RLC ENG/SCO 2437 Christie, Sean S C SCO 21 9 Wood, Martin S C SCO 19 30 Craig, Michael S C SCO 24 10 Young, Jason S C SCO 29 26 Fallon, John S C SCO 19 - Harvey, Johnny S C SCO 19 - McShefferty, David S C SCO 19GOING - Ready, Karl D C WAL 29 </pre>
01-09-2004, 06:22 AM
When We Were Lions (Lisbon Lions Challenge) Post #4
Thanks BobBev- appreciate the comment First time I have tried telling one like this...
***
Losing that first match hurt a little- maybe more so since it was televised. Still we gave a good account of ourselves while losing 2-1 at Aberdeen. William Montgomery's header was our lone goal, but we had as many good chances as they did- it was just that Gundveit and Darren Young scored over Andy Dow- after I had to bring him on when Brian McAllister got hurt early in the match. I told them I was proud of the effort and that if they continued to play with that determination- the wins would come. I also reminded them that we couldn't afford to make mistakes against anyone in the SPL- mistakes were certain to cost us more, since we had less margin for error.
During the week that followed, we wound up with more turmoil. Andy Dow was miffed that I hadn't started him in the match and we had it out behind closed doors in my office. There wasn't much I could do at that point- I transfer listed him- knowing full well that it might seriously jeapordize the team chemistry I hoped to build. I was glad that Middlesbrough snapped him up so quick for 1.2 Million.
Our first home match at Fir Park was against Kilmarnock. Right from the start I could tell we weren't as nervous and were set to play a better match- and we did just that. We took the midfield completely away from them and Twaddle gave us an early lead when he went by Peter Canero and scored past Colin Meldrum. Keith Lasley was superb throughout the match, he certainly surprised the press with his performance. He fired in a long, low shot and then Nicholas scored on a volley off a pass from McSporran. Lasley scored another in the 2nd half on a pass from McKinlay and we had our first win, 4-0. The press were certain it was a fluke.
We gained a bit more attention when we went to McDiarmid Park and outplayed St.Johnstone to win 2-0 on early goals from Martin Wood and Lasley. Lasley earned his 2nd consecutive Man of the Match there.
The 500 strong crowd at Cowdenbeath was quite a change for us- but they were still vocal enough. They didn't have a lot to cheer about though as our 2nd line players had little trouble as we beat them 2-0 on goals from Jason Young and Fotheringham in that League Cup 2nd round match.
That next week was an exciting time. The club was a lot more convinced that their heart and talent could work in sync and challenge other clubs. *That* was the week that Mark Kerr joined the club. It took some negotiation after Falkirk was forced to accept our 1 Million minimum fee release bid on him. I had to give him a high wage- and he wouldn't come without having a minimum fee release- but I finally landed him. It was a bit hard on Keith Lasley, but I had a heart to heart with him and talked about the fact that I still considered him a key cog in our midfield, but that Kerr would be starting. That meant our midfield for the Rangers match was Kerr- McKinlay- Pearson- Nicholas. Derek Adams also went that week. He was much more professional than Dow, but told me that he was sure he wouldn't be a part of the plans- so I was able to sell him to WBA for a 1.2 Million.
How much had I spent to gather this club? With Kerr included? With him included it cost me around 3.5 Million in transfer purchases. The players we had sold gave us about 7 Million in fees- but several of those were over periods of time. No, we weren't a cash rich club because of that- because I had spent a lot in signing bonuses to get contract extensions on all the players I thought would be key contributors for the next several seasons. I think we had around 1 Million still available in transfer funds at that point and I wasn't considering any more pricey transfer purchases.
I can't quite describe the electric nature of the crowd at Fir Park for our match against Rangers. They came into the match unbeaten and in 1st place. The opening stages were difficult because I could tell the players were a bit in awe of them and weren't moving well- but fortunately Brownie was playing well. Stephen Hughes gave them a halftime lead, but we settled down and started much stronger in the 2nd half. Pearson scored his 1st goal and we were even at 60 minutes. Lorenzo Amoruso gave them the lead again and it certainly looked like we were done, but in the last moments Martin Wood drilled a shot past Stefan Klos, who had played great, to give us a memorable 2-2 draw.
The draw really showed the club that it could do things that nobody expected of them. Our next match was on the road against Hibs and we outshot them 18-6 in beating them 3-1 on a pair of goals from Twaddle and one from Wood. Their only goal was when Alan Archibald tried to knock a corner over the net, but instead deflected it past Brownie.
We were back on television for our next match as we hosted Dundee United. It was a much better showing and we used goals from Pearson and Michael Craig and a stifling defense to beat them 2-0. It was Craig's debut and he played well. We did lose Kevin Twaddle to a knee injury late in the match.
01-11-2004, 05:10 AM
When We Were Lions (Lisbon Lions Challenge) Post #6
The first manager casulty of the SPL season was Jimmy Calderwood. I am not sure why Dunfermline fired him other than desperation- because their Board shouldn't have had any great expectations going into the season. I was very interested and went to watch the Challenge Cup Final in person, because my scouts had identified some players on Berwick that warranted consideration. It was a fun match to watch and Berwick did wind up winning as they edged Clyde by a 2-1 score.
Our next match was another mountain to climb as we hosted Celtic. They were on a roll and had moved steadily up through the standings and I warned the boys we needed to be at the top of our game to play with them. John Hartson got loose and scored an early goal, but we battled back behind goals from Mark Kerr and Jermaine McSporran (filling in for Twaddle) and took a 2-1 halftime lead. Hartson proved too much for our defense to handle and equalized midway through the 2nd half. We fought and clawed with them the rest of the way, but both sides had to settle for the 2-2 draw. I was very proud of the effort we put forth- we really did outplay them in many stretches of the match and it seemed another stepping stone for the squad understanding they really could play with anyone.
We had to travel to St.Mirren for our 3rd round League Cup match. I went with our 2nd line against them, it seemed a good time to get them some playing time and also to rest the 1st line after the emotional match against Celtic. It worked a charm as they outplayed a pretty good St.Mirren squad and we sent them packing by a 4-1 margin. Keith Lasley gave us the lead, but Paul Mullen evened it right away. Scott Leitch and Michael Craig both scored on headers and we were back up 3-1 at half. We really clinched the match when Hugh Murray headed past Derek Scrimgour for an own-goal and that was the final tally in the win as we moved on to host Celtic in the Quarter-finals- that seemed a bit of an unlucky draw.
Why did I go with our 2nd line? You need to understand a little of my managing philosophy. With a club as young as we were- they were always ready to go and they all wanted to play. That is a great advantage of youth, but if you played them continually- as you can get away better with a veteran club, because they understand how to pace themselves over a long grueling season- then don't be surprised if they start to wilt down the stretch. I was committed to trying to keep everyone fresh for the season, and that meant there would be matches when I would be playing a less-than-best lineup. Now, as a Manager, my job was to make the proper judgements on when I could use my less-than-best lineup and still be successful. Also, injuries are a fact of life in football and the only way you can prepare to live with the occasional injury is to have your 2nd line player ready to step up and fill in. If you don't use them until that happens, they won't perform as well as you need- so I planned to try and keep everyone sharp through at least occasional play. I also had the luxury of depth on the club to allow that approach. Lasley, who I already mentioned, became a valuable slot-in as was Martin Fotheringham back then. Willie Howie would have started for many clubs, but he was content to be Stephen Pearson's fill-in. Those are just examples- we really did have a good 'team' feeling with that group.
It was back to League play with a trip to Livingston. Carlos Dario Aurelio scored an early goal, but really managed to enrage our entire squad with a particularly showy display following the goal. Mark Kerr showed a lot of class when he scored and refused anything other than a mild slap on the back from teammates- the kind of leadership we need on this club. Halfway through the 2nd half we were finally rewarded for the pressure we were applying when Jermaine McSporran scored off a through ball from Alan Archibald. We clinched the match in extra time as Keith Lasley scored his 5th of the year on a goalmouth scramble.
Dunfermline at Fir Park was next. Despite their poor placement, they gave us a tough tussle. Martin Wood boosted us to the lead, but Stephen Crawford nailed one for them to even it. Mark Kerr earned MOM honors when he scored the matchwinner as he headed a corner from Billy McKinlay past Marco Ruitenbeck- who had a terrific match and kept the score from being much worse. I was pleased when we put the clamps on them after we had the lead- something we had been emphasizing a lot in practice.
It was Tynecastle Park for our next destination as we faced Hearts. I don't know for sure if it was us playing really well or them playing really badly- but we rolled over them easily. We were up 4-0 at halftime thanks to a hat-trick from Martin Wood and a single marker from Stephen Pearson. We didn't give them any rally room in the 2nd half and added one more goal from Jermaine McSporran in the impressive 5-0 rout. This win caught some of the media's eye and we got a bit more coverage thanks to it.
We travelled to Rugby Park and Kilmarnock was set to take revenge for the 4-0 whopping that we gave them at Fir Park in the beginning of the season. Colin Meldrum almost earned them some points on his own this time as he was splendid in net. It looked like they were set to split the points with us when Mickael Pizzo evened the match after Steven Nicholson had given us a first half lead. We wound up stealing three more road points when Kevin Twaddle made a nice move around two defenders to score the match winner in the 2nd half.
01-11-2004, 02:19 PM
When We Were Lions (Lisbon Lions Challenge) Post #7
Thanks Terk- just like old times, eh? Glad to have you along for the journey (might be another lonnng one )
***
We hosted Celtic in the League Cup Quarter-final and you could not have fit one more person into Fir Park, it was that packed for the match. What they got to see was damm entertaining too. I was a bit worried coming off the humbling at Ibrox- on how we would handle this match- and we wound up in trouble early as Chris Sutton shook off tight coverage to smash a half-volley past Brownie. Stephen Pearson scored a fantastic goal to really bring the crowd back off their seats, but just as quickly Celtic counter-attacked and Dianbobo Balde fired another past Brown. That seemed to really cost us our concentration and Sutton added another goal in extra time to see us down 3-1 at halftime. It was a gloomy place during the break, but I have to give Billy McKinlay a lot of credit- he was serving as skipper because Twaddle was out- and gave an excellent talk before leading the boys out in the 2nd half. The fans could sense something had changed, we were out there fighting hard and were rewarded when Martin Wood scored to draw a goal back midway through. It still looked Celtic would run out the string on us, but Robert Douglass clipped Steven Nicholson's feet as they both raced to the rebound after Douglass had parried a hard shot from Mark Kerr. It earned him a red card and Martyn Corrigan converted the penalty to send us to extra time even at 3-3. It was horribly disappointing to wind up losing when Joos Valgaeren outleaped two defenders to deflect Bobby Petta's corner past Brownie. It was a learning lesson for our youngsters as Celtic was steadier in extra time with only 10 men than we were with all 11.
I had worried about the Celtic match, but I was doubly worried about hosting Hearts the Saturday after the loss. Because of the extra time, none of our first line was really fit- so we went with an entirely new lineup in the match. When Gary Wales scored early in the first half, you could sense the crowd were thinking 'Not again'. Still, I could see the heart was still there- there wasn't any quit- and when Keith Lasley scored to even the match- it was a like a big burden lifted from us. So much so that we went out and scored twice more on goals from Jermaine McSporran and Jason Young to take a 3-1 halftime lead. When the second half started, we started playing tentatively though and Juanjo scored to bring them back into the match. Willie Howie answered that goal, but after Juanjo scored his 2nd of the match to make it 4-3...well it was nail biting time for both the fans and me. John Connolly didn't play particularly well- with Brownie suspended for this match- but he came up with the game saver in the closing moments when he denied Scott Severin to help us cling to the much needed win.
It was a testament to what I was trying to accomplish with our youngsters when we claimed the 'Young Player of the Month' honors for the fourth month in a row -- Martin Wood, Richard Montgomery, Mark Brown and now Stephen Pearson have earned the honors so far this season.
The trip to Dunfermline seemed almost a respite after the last few matches, but they played us very tough. Though we limited them to 1 shot, we were fortunate to gain the 1-0 win on Martin Wood's first half marker. Losing Jermaine McSporran during the first half hurt us- both he and Twaddle were out which meant our forward depth was pretty thin. Still, it was a win to take us to the halfway point in the season. Amazingly, we were atop the SPL, though I am sure the boys felt a bit like the hunted and not the hunters as Rangers and Celtic were nipping at our heels.
Billy Stark was the next coaching casulty. He decided to leave on his own terms- resigning from St.Johnstone.
Another difficult match was our first trip to Celtic Park. I talked to the squad a lot about maintaining composure and focus- and it paid off as we really did outplay them in the match. Unfortunately, outplaying them is not the same thing as winning and Robert Douglass earned MOM honors by keeping us off the scoresheet. We couldn't do the same as Alan Archibald was whistled for pushing Didier Agathe in the back and Chris Sutton converted the penalty kick to ensure a close 1-0 loss. I was disappointed at the outcome, but not at the effort we showed. The loss meant Rangers overtook us to move into 1st place.
I sold Scott Wilson to Dundee shortly after the loss. He wasn't happy on the reserves and I really didn't think he had a solid place in our future plans. The 300K would help us more was my thinking- after all we weren't a rich club.
About then we suffered another problematic injury when we lost Billy McKinlay to a twisted knee for three weeks. McKinlay had been the key player down our good stretch and with both he and Twaddle out- we were lacking in veteran leadership.
Well, I thought we were without leadership- instead I found myself mistaken as Scott Leitch took the role without qualms and provided steady and heady work in place of McKinlay. He scored our first goal in the home match against Kilmarnock and then Michael Craig crossed for Martin Wood to put us up 2-0. John Anderson brought them back into the match with his 1st goal of the season in the 2nd half, but a Steven Hammell cross to Stephen Pearson for Pearson's 5th of the season was enough to be certain of the 3-1 home win. Rangers could only manage a 1-1 draw while hosting Dundee and we moved a point on top of them in 1st.
I was surprised to see that Alex Totten was willing to leave Falkirk to take the St.Johnstone position. Falkirk actually looked like a better club at that point, but I heard Totten was sure that he could keep them from falling to relegation and he wanted to manage in SPL versus Division 1.
The long season seemed like a series of tests- I guess every season is like that more or less, but this first season it seemed magnified. So far, we hadn't passed our exams on the road against Rangers or Celtic, but now we had another key match against Dundee. They were 4th coming in and all four clubs were very close- so this was a big chance for us to do well. Martin Wood celebrated the return of Kevin Twaddle when Twaddle made a beatiful header across to allow Wood an easy goal early in the match. Young Argentinean Juan Sara is one of the top scorers in the SPL and he showed us way as he outraced Archibald and Montgomery to get to a long pass and then fired a rising shot past Brownie. It was a tight, exciting match after that as both clubs struggled for each loose ball. I remember bouncing on the balls of my feet at a couple of close calls. In the waning moments of the match, Keith Lasley (on for a tired Mark Kerr) turned the match into joy for us as he wheeled and scorched a shot past Jamie Langfield after Archibald found him in the area with a pass. The 2-1 win was encouraging- we had held our own on the road against a very good club.
We missed a golden chance to improve our lot when we marched into St.Johnstone and then lost. I couldn't fault the effort, we had a boatload of great scoring chances, but our only goal against Alan Main was Michael Craig's 2nd half marker when he chipped in a rebound. We had no defense against Kiegan Parker up front- he scored twice in the first half over Brian McAllister, before I swapped coverage and Alan Archibald did much better on him. The loss was frustrating after seeing Rangers upset 1-0 at Ibrox by Dunfermline and Celtic drew against Kilmarnock 2-2.
I let 3rd string keeper Steve Woods move to Rushden for 450K. That meant I would need to be scouting around for a solid keeper to pick up on Bosman or through a modest purchase.
We opened the new year with another key test- hosting the Rangers. We came away with another failing grade, though the referee had more to do that as his disputed penalty call on Richard Montgomery wound up costing us a 3-2 loss. Kevin Twaddle suprised the 'Gers with a goal in the first minute of play, but they rallied on goals by Neil McCann and Ronald de Boer. Steven Nicholas got us back to 2-2 at halftime with a curving shot that eluded Jesper Christiansen. In the opening moments of the 2nd half, Montgomery was whistled for a push on Claudio Caniggia and Tore Andre Flo easily converted the penalty kick for what turned out to be the deciding goal. Once again we outplayed a good club, but had nothing to show for it. The loss meant the top 4 spots were jumbled again, with Celtic moving into 1st for the first time this season.
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When We Were Lions (Lisbon Lions Challenge) 
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