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Old 03-26-2004, 07:30 PM   On the walls, with a bow and arrow. Post #61
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Memo From Sir Barrington Smythers-Hackmeister, propritor Chronicle Group Newspapers to Editor, Chester Evening News

Barry,

I've thought about this long and hard. You're fired.

Get me the number of Harry Hackmeister right away.

Sir Barrington Smythers-Hackmeister MBE
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Old 05-04-2004, 09:36 PM   On the walls, with a bow and arrow. Post #62
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October

Burton Albion 2-1 Chester
Conference Saturday 2nd October 2004

Players Unavailable : Twiss (Injured : dislocated shoulder (1 week))
An unchanged side for this game, and although we started well we found ourselves a goal down inside 10 minutes. Poor marking allowed Forrester, in the box, to shoot home from a narrow angle. Chester put pressure back on following this, but were guilty of some bad misses. An equaliser did come on 29 minutes when Darryl Clare knocked in a rebound after a Darryn Stamp effort had been saved. More huff and puff followed in the first half, but Chester couldn't make anything of it. 1-1 at half time. Chester were again the dominant force in the second half but could not score, their efforts became more desperate and less effective as time wore on. Indeed, things got worse when Burton scored again on 66 minutes. Forrester scored his second, once again after poor defending and poor goalkeeping. Two shots on target and two goals, that isn't good enough, and it's certainly not a championship winning defence I've got here. Although Chester piled on the pressure late on, they couldn't score and the game finished 2-1. It does make you think though, why does only the standard 4-4-2 formation work ? why do defenders play differntly if you do anything else ?. Burton defender Andy Campbell was outstanding and well worth his man-of-the-match award. Chester slip to third. Chester (4-2-2-2) McCaldon 5; Harris 7, Beswetherick 7, Miller 8, Baltacha 6 (sub Collins 6 (68)); Vaughan 6 (sub: Murray 6(68)), Rapley 7, Spicer 7, Bowman 7; Clare 7, Stamp 7. Scorer: Clare (3)


Author's Note: I loaded up 4.1.3 and the match stats patch at this point. I don't want to start another game, so let's see if it's possible to continue with this one

We conduct a savvy piece of business this week, by securing the services of Icelandic centre-forward/midfielder Orri Freyr Oskarsson. He's a player that's been recommended to me by managers and other respected football pundits. Orri will join when his contract with his Icelandic club expires on December 1st. Whatever his other talents he's already scored eight goals in ten games in the Icelandic League this season, we look forward to him signing.

On the Friday Michael Twiss resumed full training. He's not going to be fit for tomorrow, but it's very good news nevertheless.

Chester 0-1 Accrington Stanley
Conference Saturday October 9th 2004

Players Unavailable : None
Back to basics formation wise, a simple 4-4-2 would be used against ninth in the table Stanley. The bookies have us as 1-2on favourites for the match, let's see if they're right for once. Accrington came here to defend. They put two banks of four behind the ball at all times and invited Chester to come onto them. This we did, and despite getting six of nine shots on target in the first half we couldn't get a goal. Still, we were doing the right things, so hopefully the second half will be an improvement..... It wasn't, I think I lost the will to live during the second half. Everything promising in the first half went wrong in the second and it was no surprise when, on 82 minutes, Dave Cameron crossed, after breaking into the box, for Andrew Waine to head home. No coming back from that. What do we have to do to win a game ? A very demoralising result. Jamie Speare in the Accrington goal was a worthy man-of-the-match winner. Chester drop to 7th after that appalling second half display. Chester (4-4-2): McCaldon 7; Harris 7, Beswetherick 7, Miller 7, Baltacha 7 (booked); Murray 7, Rapley 7, Spicer 7(booked)(sub - Davies 7 (83)), Bowman 7; Clare 7, Stamp 8. scorer: none.

Another international weekend followed with England beating Moldova 4-1 at home in Group 2 of the World Cup Qualifiers. Elsewhere Scotland lost at home to Holland 2-1. wales were thumped 5-0 in Ukraine, whilst the Republic won 3-0 in Latvia, and the result of th night has to be Northern Ireland's 2-0 win in Azerbaijan. After two games the North top group 6.

Chester were drawn at home to third division Bury in the first round of the Vans trophy.

Kirk Miller picked up a groin strain in training and will be out 2 weeks.

In the 4th Qualifying round of the FA cup Chester have been drawn away at Tamworth, also of the Conference. I'd have prefered a slightly easier tie, but I'd still expect us to win this one.

Midweek sees more international games. England draw in Romania, but stay top of Group 2. Scotland get a first win in Group 1, a 4-1 away win that lifts them from the bottom of the group. Ireland get a creditable draw at ome to Portugal, whilst in the same group, Group 4, Wales beat Andorra 3-0 at home for their first win of the campaign. In Group 6 another highly creditable performance by Northern Ireland, they drew 3-3 with Croatia at Windsor Park.

Kidderminster 1-1 Chester
Conference Saturday 23rd October 2004

Players Unavailable : Miller (injured - groin strain(2 weeks))
A tricky game away at newly demoted Kidderminster. They've set about their task of repromotion with gusto and lie fifth two places above us. I decided to try another new formation, back to a 5-3-2 based formation, mainly to allow Twiss back in, in a free role. I also brought Jamie Heard in for his first start of the season. The game started badly for Chester with a defensive mistake costing us a goal within 5 minutes. Baltacha's wayward backpass was miscontroled by McCaldon leaving Blackstock with an easy finish. Chester were on level terms on 25 minutes when Spicer split the defence with an exquisite pass that Twiss was able to take his time in placing beyond the dispairing dive of the keeper a drive from the edge of the box. It stayed 1-1 until half time. At he half I replaced Clare, who'd not adapted to the new system well, with Mark Debolla, let's see if the young lad can do any better. The second half was scrappy and was mainly notable for Chester players refusing to pass the ball to better placed colleagues, and rather losing it to a tackle whilst they stood still. A big culprit was Stamp who simply refused to cross the ball despite having Cross Ball, and Cross Aim at Centre set in his individual instructions. Still a promising result, if not performance from the new tactic. Kidderminster defender Adie Smith was named man of the match and Chester move back up to sixth in the table. Chester (3-5-2) McCaldon 5; Strong 7(booked), Baltacha 6, Heard 7; Rapley 6, Beswetherick 6, Spicer 7, Twiss 7, Bowman 7; Clare 4 (sub Debolla 6(45)), Stamp 7. Scorer : Twiss(1)

Chester 2-1 Bury
Vans Trophy Northern section 1st Round. Wednesday 27th October

Players Unavailable : Miller (injured - groin strain(2 weeks))
The visit of third division Bury in the Vans Trophy will be a bit of a test for the new formation, but it proves to be a good one. It's an old cliche but right from the off you couldn't tell which was the team from the higher division. Indeed throughout the match Chester dominated and made many chances whilst limiting Bury to a mere handful. An all action but scoreless first half was followed by an equally good second period. Twiss, relishing the attacking midfield role, scored the first on 59 minutes, latching onto a free ball in the box after good work by Darryn Stamp had forced a save from the Bury netminder. Rapley added a second on 85 minutes after a goalmouth melee, but as Chester took their foot off the pedal Bury came back with a consolation goal two minutes from time. And consolation was all it proved to be as Chester closed out a creditable win. Chester (3-5-2) McCaldon 6,Heard 8, Baltacha 8, Strong 8; Rapley 8, Beswetherick 7, Spicer 7, Twiss 9, Bowman 5; Clare 7, Stamp 7. Scorers: Twiss (2), Rapley (1)

We get a plum draw in the second round, at home to Scarborough, also of the Conference and the only other Conference side left in this half of the draw.

Tamworth 0-4 Chester
FA Cup 4th Qualifying Round Saturday 30th October 2004

Players Unavailable : Miller (injured - groin strain(1 week))
Same again formation wise, and it proved to be a wise choice. The game started quietly, with Chester exerting more of an influence as time wore on in the first half. They got a bizarre opener on 27 minutes when a Darryn Stamp shot rebounded off the post, onto the back of the diving Phil Whitehead's head, in the Tamworth goal, and back into the net. The veritable bizarre own-goal. It was all Chester from that point, but it wasn't until the 44th minute that they struck again. Ben Davies was the goalscorer, as he was picked out unmarked in the box by Clare, on the wing. Davies beat the advancing Whitehead with ease from ten yards out. Davies had come on 10 minutes earlier when Rapley had to go off injured. Within a minute it was three-nil as Clare once again found acres of space on the right, broke into the box and squared the ball for Stamp to power home a diving header with Whitehead stranded. 3-0 at the half, and no way back for Tamworth. Only one more goal was added in the second period, a penalty son the hour, scored by John Spicer after Stamp was hauled down in the box. Chester eased off after that and Tamworth had nothing to answer them with. It proved to be a very easy win. Man of the match was Spicer. Chester (3-5-2) McCaldon 7; Heard 7, Baltacha 8, Strong 8; Rapley 6 (sub 33(injury) - Davies 7), Beswetherick 7 Spicer 10, Twiss 7, Bowman 7; Clare 7 (booked), Stamp 7. Scorers: OG(1), Spicer(2), Davies (1),Stamp (6)

Rapley only picked up a minor knock in the match and will only be out a couple of days.

Barnet's Martin Allen won the Conference Manager of the month award.

In the first round proper of the FA Cup Chester are drawn at home against non-league Halesowen Town. Couldn't have hoped for much better.

Author's note: Updgrade to 4.1.4 happens at this point.
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Old 05-05-2004, 04:22 PM   On the walls, with a bow and arrow. Post #63
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He's Back, and this time he's Angry ! The Harry Hackmeister Column

Time to settle on just one formation, Ray

The Chester Evening Leader

Evening all, Harry Hackmeister back where he belongs, deep in the heart of Chester. So, to the team. An up and down month for Ray Kinsale and the boys of Chester City. Poor form early on in the month contrast with a couple of convincing wins in the cup contests late on in the month. It's no surprise to this journalist that when Kinsale settled on the one formation, and gave the boys a chance to settle into it and make it work that the results picked up.

Indeed, the 3-5-2 formation offers real attacking possibilities whilst retaining some defensive stability. I'd be a bit worried about the wide areas, but time will tell if the wing backs work both going backwards as well as forwards. With a bit of luck this one can work.

And on the transfer front Ray Kinsale has taken Harry's advice ! The young Icelander Oskarsson has been a goal machine in the Icelandic league and should provide the additional punch to the attack that I think the club needs. A shame he isn't arriving to Decemeber, but you can't have everything can you.

Hope for the future, this is Harry signing off.

Harry Hackmeister is sponsored by The Golden Buffalo Chinese Takeaway

c2004 Chronicle Newspaper Group
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Old 06-29-2004, 01:51 PM   On the walls, with a bow and arrow. Post #64
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Ahem !

Harry Speaks

So are we going to play some football then ?

haary Hackmeister has been on holiday
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