retired_milla0225

Chester Chronicle

Chronicle journalist hospitalised in freak reporting accident

It is with sad regret that The Chronicle Group of newspapaers has to announce the hospitalisation, with serious injuries, of the promising Chronicle journalist Jeremy Journo. Jeremy was injured whilst covering the England Rugby World Cup Winners parade through the streets of London today. It is not clear what happened, but witnesses report seeing Journo fall under a police horse after waving a bottle of Gin in the air and shouting 'I'm Henery the Eighth , I am' and falling over backwards, under the horse. Foul play is not suspected.

It is not clear who will do this month's monthly report on Chester City's progress, with Journo's arch rival and Evening Leader journalist Harry Hackmeister still being held,as far as we know, against his will in a secure institution. Who will write the report ? Will there be a report ?

retired_milla0225

Chester Evening Leader

Discraced journalist 'escapes' from secure unit

In a dramatic overnight development it is reported that discraced Evening Leader journalist, Harry Hackmeister, has escaped from his secure unit, a lock up on the Bumper's Land industrial estate. Complicity in the escape by persons unknown cannot be ruled out, as the padlock was quite clearly removed from the outside whilst the guards were all watching coverage of the World Cup Victory parade on the telly.

Hackmeister is now on the run.

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Memo from the Owner, Chronicle Group Newspapers

To: Editors, Chester Evening Leader, Chester Chronicle

Seems like we'll need a stand in to do the monthly report. I used to be a sports reporter, so use this....

It's not like it was in my day !
The improbably ponderings of Sir Barrington Smythers-Hackmeister III

It really isn't like it was in my day. When I was just a junior sports reporter on this paper Chester were a team in the old Fourth division a team with a proud record. That record was, of course, that they were the only team never to have been promoted or relegated. That was until 1974/75 when they were promoted to Division Three on goal average, whatever that was, I don't think I understood that even then. Incedentally 1974 was the year that the town bye-law about beheading Welshmen found within the city walls after the hours of darkness was repealled. Not that we ever did, mind, but it was a nice one to have in the armoury.

Anyway where was I, Oh yes the month just gone. Quite impressive, other than the abject surrender against Barnet in the league, and after we'd beaten them in the cup too. But third in the league is a good position to start making a run for the title, if they can hold it together next month then we're set fair for promotion back where we belong in the league. If Kinsale can manage that then we'll see to it that he gets the freedom of the city.

Come on you blues !
Sir Barrington Smythers-Hackmeister III
c2003

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Memo from editor Chester Chronicle

To Editor, Chester Evening Leader

It's a bit partisan this, surely we can't use it ?

retired_milla0225

Memo from editor Chester Evening Leader

To Editor, Chester Chronicle

Well, are you going to tell him ?

Best run it.

retired_milla0225

December

Chester 0-1 Bury
FA Cup 2nd Round Saturday 6th December 2003
I decided to stick with the 'Valencia' formation for the cup tie against the side from the higher division, Bury. and, indeed, Chester had by far the best of the opening period limiting Bury to a single corner. Meanwhile The Blues couldn't break the deadlock themselves, Stamp firing wide when well placed and Carden trying a long range effort that, in realty, had little hope of beating Garner in the Bury net.Clare looks to have picked up a knock, but I decided to stick with him, at least for the start of the second half. It was very much the same story in the second half with Chester not taking the chances that came their way, and this came back to haunt them when on 71 minutes a O'Shaughnessy free kick was put in at close range by Ben Thornley. It was to prove to be Bury's only shot of the entire match, but Chester fell away after this and produced no real clear cut chances to level the game. It finished 1-0 to Bury, but what frustrated me most was the apparant inability of my wide men to get crosses in, Stamp is good in the air but he was never given the chance to prove it. Thornley was man-of-the-match for his decisive contribution to the game, and Chester are out of the cup...

In cup shocks Stevenage and Exeter of the Conference beat league sides to progress to the third round whilst Morecambe and Telford get second round replays.

Burton 6-2 Chester
Conference Saturday 13th December 2003
No change in the formattion for this one, it would be interesting to see how it coped in away games. Not well, was the answer. A disaterous opening quarter saw Chester three down within 16 minutes. Some shocking defending to blame, in addition to some tactical naievity on my part saw us two goals down by the 7th minute both came from wide areas, the first Ducros crossing for Talbot to head home unmarked on 3. On 7, it was two Ducros cutting in from the left after a 50 yard pass from Kelley and bautifully chipping McCaldon from the edge of the box as the big Scotsman came out. It was three on 16 minutes when Ben Davies was harshly, in my view, adjudged to have fouled Ducros in the box at a corner. Talbot made no mistake from the spot for his second of the game. Chester regrouped somewhat after that and pulled one back afetr 43 when Clare put in Stamp with an exquisite flick into space. Stamp made no mistake from the edge of the box. Leaving Chester 3-1 down at half time, but with a glimmer of hope. A hope that didn't last a minute as Burton made it four on 46 minutes when Webster was allowed a free header in the six yard box to score. Four became five on 51 when Talbot completed his hatrick, to be honest can't remember how this one was scored, it all became a bit of a blur at this point. Chester made it 5-2 on 59 when Clare knocked in a Stamp cross at the second attempt. Burton still had time for one more Chettle heading home a corner on 80 minutes. Talbot was named man-of-the-match for his three goal haul. Chester drop to fourth.

A humbling loss then, but not one that I'm going to blame entirely on the system. yes the first two goals were due to allowing Burton too much width, but thereafter it was just poor defending that cost us. For example why was there no man on the post for Chettle's goal ? A man there would have surely kept it out. If you bear in mind that Chester had seven shots on target for two goals the statistic that Burton had six goals for their nine shots on target kind of implies that we plain just didn't do well enough defensively. There'll be changes before the next game, mark my words.

As a reaction to this loss I went out and got Ben Stevens a right winger on loan for 3 months from Glasgow Rangers.

Chester had no mid-week game due to Morecambe's cup replay, but due to other results we fell to fifth in the table.

Accrington 1-3 Chester
Conference Saturday 20th December 2003
Not the start we wanted really. Accrington scored in the first minute. We'd made a number of changes to the defence since the last game, but it was the one survivor Baltacha at fault here. He didn't close down Justin Jackson allowing him to shoot, and then allowing him to knock in the rebound after Wayne Brown bravely parried the first effort. Amazingly enough things looked up after that, especially when on 5 minutes Stanley's biggest threat, Jackson was sent off for taking a swing at Bolland right in front of the referee. Chester had the upper hand from here on and equalised through Clare who knocked home a perfectly weighted Michael Twiss cross on 23 minutes. Truth be told Chester should have gone in at the break ahead but poor finishing let them down on more than one occasion. It remained 1-1 at half time. Chester pressed home their man advantage in the second going at Accrington from the off. It only took six minutes to get another; a fine turn and shot in the box from Stamp after a Paul Carden corner had been half cleared. It became three-one on 73 minutes, nice play by Clare setting Stamp clear on a one-on-one with the goalie. Stamp took it round the netminder with style and sidefooted the ball into the empty net. It was, a devastating counter attack. Chester dominated the game and broke clear of the Accrington defence many more times as the Lancastrains pressed forward on an attempt to get back into the match. more chances and more misses followed with young debutant Ben Stevens, who had an excellent game on the right, being a notable culprit near the end. An easy enough win, Darryn Stamp was named man-of-the-match and Chester regained fourth spot in the Conference.

Chester 2-2 Morecambe
Conference Tuesday 23rd December 2003
Festive spirit pretty much in evidence from Chester's back line in the first half of this rearranged game, vertiably a game of "two halves". Morecambe were two up by the break, both scored by the impressive Nick Rogan the first from a Leki Odunsi cross and the second from a run following a through ball by Dean Howell. Morecambe deserved to be in front at the break. There was the festive sound of smashing tea-cups in our dressing room at half time. I took off Brown, at fault for the second goal, Clare and young Stevens and replaced them with McCaldon,Rapley and Hutchinson. The second half was a different affair, and it was all Chester. The Blues got one back on 48 when Stamp headed home an accurate Twiss cross. Morecambe then failed to help themsleves by having not one, but two, players sent off, Thompson for elbowing on 53 and Lane on 65 for a very crude challenge. Both were trying to put Twiss out of the game and how they must rue failure as Twiss got the equaliser on 69 after sub Rapley got to the byline and pulled it across the face of goal. Try as they might Chester couldn't secure a winner. Mawson was outstanding in the Morecambe goal but the main problem was lack of accuracy. Chester had 15 shots in the game, only six of them on target. Morecambe managed 5 shots with just two on target. Rogan was justifiably named man-of-the-match, meanwhile Chester reclaim third spot in the league.

The bad news is Twiss pulled a hamstring near the end of the game and will be out a week. Not good timing with the Christmas weekend coming up.

Telford 0-0 Chester
Conference Friday 26th December 2003
Only one change from Tuesday's game, other than the change neccesitiated by the injury to Twiss, Rapley coming in, despite the players looking a little tired. Phil Bolland came in for Carl Ruffer, who was looking the most tired of any of them, but I figured that if we are to get this system to work then chopping and changing the defence each game probably isn't going to help.
A dour first half, typical of Boxing Day fixtures, really. A half of much half graft but not much skill and very few clear cut chances. The only really good chance came in first half injury time when Brown saved point blank from Mils after good build up play from Telford, with Carden gratefully hacking the ball clear. A worrying note for City was that Baltacha had to come off on 33 minutes after picking up a knock. Young Paul Connolly, getting a flavour of first team life on the bench, was thrown on as his replacement, a bit early in the game for my liking, but let's see how the lad copes with it. He slots into the left side of the back three with Collins moving to the centre. Chester were brighter in the second half but the game wasn't really any better. Chester managed a couple of long range shots, on target but easily taken by Chris MacKenzie in the Telford goal. Foster who I'd brought on for the dissapointing (again) Clare was himself injured in a heavy challenge. Looks like Joe Hinnigan, the physio, is going to be a busy man tomorrow. 0-0 was, unfortunately, a fair result, neither team offering anything much to the 2567 fans at The Buck's Head, who braved the December weather for this traditional fixture. Matt Clarke the Telford right back, was named man-of-the-match. Meanwhile Chester stay third, but at the top Aldershot have opened up a gap of 8 points.

The injuries weren't as bad as they first looked, Baltacha would be out a couple of days with a wrist injury, but other than that a clean bill of health.

retired_milla0225

The weblog of Hackmeister.net

Hi, Harry Hackmeister here, reporting to you from my hideaway deep in the heart of suburban Chester. they thought they could silence me, but here I am, escaped, and reporting.....

And don't they need me, what a bad month that was for Chester, only one win. Two draws, out of the cup and that thrashing at Burton. What is Kinsale thinking of if he thinks he can get a bunch of conference level footballers to play a continental formation. I've said it many times before, Kinsale is a man out of his depth, he best start paddling, or it could all go wrong for Chester this year.

The original Harry Hackmeister c 2003

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I was in the Albion Arms having a quiet pint, musing on the New Year's Day game at Aldershot, who were league leaders by a distance.

From my spot at the bar where I was reading Hackmeister's latest missive, I could see that he was right. Or was he ? did I have the courage of my convictions ? could these boys master the tactics ? More importantly could I get this club promotion ?

As a drained the last of my pint of Greenall's the answer came to me. Yes, I could get this team promoted, and what's more I would.

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January

On the moring of the New Year's Day game the previous year's awards were announced. Real Madrid's Roberto Carlos won World Player of the Year ahead of Javier Zanetti and Jan Koller, whilst Raul, also of Real Madrid, won the World Footballer of the Year (what's the difference ?), Tomas Rosicky was second and Rio Ferdinand third in this one.
Meanwhile Thierry Henry was crowned European Footballer of The Year with Gary Neville(are they joking ?) second and Dede third.

Stevenage Borough's Graham Westley won Conference manager of the month for December. Meanwhile Nick Rogan's second goal for Morecambe against Chester is placed third on the Conference goal of the month contest.

Aldershot 1-0 Chester
Conference Thursday 1st January 2004
What could be nicer for New year's Day, a trip away to the runaway leaders of the division. A game we probably have to win if we're going to catch Aldershot. It was good, therefore to see Baltacha fit to start and raring to go. Twiss was still injured, so this wasn't going to be our strongest team, but it would be close to it. I did make the decision to drop Darryl Clare to the bench, after his recent poor run of form, and replaced him with Steve Brodie. Rashness or Masterstroke ? The game would tell all.
It was all Aldershot in the first half, but they couldn't break the deadlock with Wayne Brown in good form. What was surprising was the way in which the Chester defenders stepped under high balls so often, refused simple passes to play the ball out instead and generally play in a way that invited Aldershot on to them. A quite embarrasing result for the coder's at SI, making this the most unrealistic half of football seen yet on the 2-d game represenatation. I decided to replace Steve Brodie at half time, Darryl Clare coming on. Brodie didn't do alot wrong, he just didn't do very much of anything. Chester at least managed a shot in the second half but couldn't score, Aldershot kept the pressure on but could only break the deadlock once. Rocco D'Sane, who had a fine match, vollying home acorss the face of the goalkeeper after a cross from Tim Sills was inexplicably allowed to pass across the face of the box unmolested. 1-0 was the final score, a disappointing result, but not surprising given the pressure that Aldershot had. D'Sane was man-of-the-match and Chester drop to fifth after the game.

Chester have been drawn away to lower league opposition in the third round of the FA Trophy, at Hitchin.

A day off on Saturday 3rd Jan 2004 as the Third round of the FA Cup goes ahead, traditionally a day of shocks and upsets, but sadly without us in it this year. Is this an indication of the way the season is going ?
In the cup Chester's conquerers in the second round, Bury, are roundly thumped 4-0 at home by Premiership Everton. Three premiership sides crash out against lower opposition, Charlton lose at home to first division Wigan, 3-1 the score. Leeds go down by the smae scoreline at home to second dvision QPR. But the plaudits of the round go to Conference side Exeter who win 3-1 at home to premiership Birmingham. The other conference team in the third round also makes it through to the fourth with a fine win. This time it's traditional giant-killers Stevenage who beat first divison Gillingham 3-0 at Broadhall Way.

Chester 1-1 Leigh RMI
Conference Tuesday 6th January 2004
I'm looking for the lads to bounce back with a good performance against Leigh RMI, they're mid table, so it won't be walkover, but we have to start performing soon. Clare returns to the team, let's hope he feels he has something to prove to me now. Twiss reported for training only this morning and lacks a bit of match sharpness, so he starts on the bench tonight. I'm rewarded with exactly the kind of performance that I was looking for with Chester more than on top in an open and exciting first half. There was only one goal and that came to Chester in first half injury time when Stamp headed home the rebound after his first effort, a header from a Paul Carden corner was blocked on the line. Stamp had missed a few in the first half, but it was nice to see him get one here, his 10th goal of the season. Whilst Chester had the best of the first half Leigh were certainly not bystanders to the action, they managed only two efforts on goal, but got them both on target, but Brown dealt with both very safely. The second half started in the same vein with Chester piling forward wasting chance after chance. If you are only one goal up you have to defend well, and Chester failed to do that on 74 minutes when they only half cleared a corner , the ball came back in and Rae was there to poke the ball home from close range. After Clare was booked I brought Twiss on in a forward's role to replace him, he did well, but couldn't alter the scoreline and the game finished 1-1. Ian Martin in the Leigh goal was named man-of-the-match for his heroics. Chester climb a spot to fourth.

After the game [b}Joe Hinnigan[/B] reports that he thinks that Stamp needs a rest. With the FA trophy on Saturday ? a plan is starting to form.

On the Thursday morning before the Hitchin game Phil Bolland pulls a hamstring in training, two weeks off for him.

Hitchin 0-1 Chester
FA Trophy 3rd Round Saturday 10th January 2004
Ruffer came in for the injured Bolland and Stamp was given a rest, with Twiss deputising up front. Give him all full game up top, see how he does...
I've no idea what they were playing at in the first half. Chester had all the play, all the attacks but only managed to hit the target twice in ten attempts. Some appalling afforts were made in this half. Paul Carden paid the penalty for being the worst of a bad bunch. I took him off to be replaced by Harris. A bad attitude all round to the game was evidenced by the fact that Davies, Rapley and Collins were all booked in the first half, the first two for dissent, and against a team that didnt mount a serious attack all half ! Buck up their ideas in the second half ? No chance, it was just a repeat of the first. The game ended with Chester having 15 shots but only 6 of them were on target, Hitchin didn't manage one in the whole game. A single goal did come Man-of-The-Match Sergei Baltacha heading a long Andy Harris throw goalwards, where it took a wicked deflection off a Hitchin defender stranding the goalie. Typical of the entire game. It finshed 1-0, and Chester progess to the next round, but some improvement is required, and soon.

Chester draw another away tie in the 4th round of the trophy, away to Runcorn, a local derby.

Gravesend 1-2 Chester
Conference Wedenesday 14th January 2004
A dull and boring first half. Gravesend scored with the last action of the first half when Perkins rose above three Chester defenders to head the ball into the net past Brown who for reason's best known to SI's programmers hadn't bothered to track the ball across the face of his goal. A bit of a shocker. Chester got back into the game after the break, playing some attractive football. They were rewarded on 73 when Collins played a delicate through ball to Twiss who'd got free in the area. Twiss making no mistake from close range for his fifth goal of the season. More was to follow, on 83 minutes when Collins played a long free kick down the right. {B]Rapley[/B] collected the ball, rode two challenges and rasped a shot into the corner of the net from the edge of the box, a great goal worthy of winning any match, and that was how it turned out as Chester held on to the end with some ease. Gravesend's Perkins was named man-of-the-match. Chester rise a place to third, but only becuase Dagenham & Redbridge didn't play today.

Chester 3-0 Margate
Conference Saturday 17th January 2004
A home game against high flying Margate (currently 7th in the table). Joe Hinnigan says both Stamp and Davies need a rest. I'll take him up on that putting Clare back in and giving Adam Hunter from the reserves a try. He's been getting rave reviews in the reserves, so let's see what he can do at his level. At last ! A half of football the team can be proud of. Chester controlled this from start to finish, once again the finishing wasn't the best but they did score twice. The first was scored, on 17 minutes by Darryl Clare who was there to knock the ball in from close range when Margate keeper, Alan Julian could only parry a Twiss header. A second was to come 8 minutes later on 25 minutes when Rapley broke to the byline pulled the ball back for Carden on the edge of the box. Carden's shot beat the keeper but cannoned back off the post, straight into Twiss's patch where he sidefooted the ball into the empty net. Chester created more chances as the half wore on, whilst not allowing Margate to create anything. Carden was guilty of missing a couple, but an all round good performance, Chester came in at the half 2-0 up. The second half was more of the same but Chester had to wait until the 79th minute for a third goal. It came when Jamie Heard, restored to the team for the underperforming Ruffer, heaed home a Paul Carden corner for his first senior goal for Chester. A moment that capped a man-of-the-match performance by the young defender. Another notable perfomance came from Adam Hunter, quite clearly not overawed by this opportunity. The win consolidates Chester's position, third in the Conference.

Woking 0-2 Chester
Conference Saturday 24th January 2004
Chester opened up this game the brighter of the two sides and were rewarded with the early goal. Twiss broke free on the left hand side of the box, he slid the ball into the path of Clare who had escaped his marker, Clare kept his cool as he went round the on rushing keeper to put the ball into the empty net. It wasn't all one way traffic as Woking frustrated Chester for much of the remainder of the first half, the game degenerated into a scrap fest, with neither side grabbing the ascendancy. Chester had some more good chances, but failed to take them, the half time score remaining 1-0. It took Chester 46 seconds to extend their lead in the second half. Adam Hunter interecpeted a ball in the Woking half and put Twiss free into the box. Twiss took it on a pace and then hit a powerful drive that the keeper got his hands to but couldn't keep it out. 2-0. Chester kept plugging away but more goals wouldn't come, despite the eight shots they got on target in the entire game. Woking substitute Amos Foweya was sent off near the end for an unsightly incident, which I didn't see. The game faded away into a 2-0 win for City. Darryl Clare was named man-of-the-match. Chester rise to second in the table, now only five points behind Aldershot.

In the fourth round of the FA cup, which took place today, 24th Jan, there were precious few shocks. Exeter, of the conference did gain a replay, drawing 1-1 at home to first divison Rotherham. Stevenage, the other Conference team, crashed out of the cup 3-0 at Leicester.

Chester 4-1 Hereford
Conference Tuesday 27th January 2004
The first half of this game was a good example of why Hereford are languishing at he bottom of the table. Chester didn't play badly, but didn't play exceptionally well either but ended up the first half 3-0 up. This from only 5 efforts, only the three scoring ones on target. Rapley got the first on 9 minutes. Darryl Clare was found on the right wing with a good ball from Collins, his cross was met with a firm header from Rapley which seemed to go through the keeper's hands. On the half hour Baltacha won the ball in the centre circle and then played an inch perfect pass to Twiss. He skipped round a defender, into the box where he squeezed a shot just inside the near post. The third came on 42 minutes and was the culmination of a good move of Chester interplay, the ball finally coming to Twiss who crossed for Clare to slide it home. Hereford weren't kept entirely out of the game but ended the half 3-0 down.
Chester conitnued their good work into the second half and Twiss added his second, and Chester's fourth on 53 minutes, and what a good goal it was. Jamie Heard hit a 40 yard pass to Rapley on the left, who played the ball inside first time to Twiss outside the box. Twiss took one touch and rifled a 25 yard drive into the top left corner. Chester continued to play well after the goal, but didn't get it all their own way. Hereford substitute Kenny Deuchar getting one back on 71 minutes after good work on the left wing by Deas. It proved no more than a consolation though and it was the Hereford defence that was the busier towards the end of the game. An easy win. Kevin Rapley was given the nod for man-of-the-match, but both Twiss and Clare can feel themselves unlucky. Chester hold second place, five points back from Aldershot, but with an ever improving goal difference.

Runcorn FC Halton 0-2 Chester
FA Trophy 4th Round Saturday 31st January 2004
Apparantly Chester are 1-6 on favourites for this game. We'll see, it's a local derby, and looks like it'll be played in a gale, which could level out the playing field a little. On the selection side physio Hinnigan recommends giving Twiss a rest. I am loath to do so guven the form he is in, but we need him more for the league games so I guess it'll be a first start for on-loan Ryan Hutchinson. I'll also give another start to Adam Hunter, but that's more than enough tinkering with the team. Chester got off to a good start in this game and were a goal up after only six minutes. Following up a half cleared corner Jamie Heard had a rasping drive deflected off a Runcorn defender. Clare was first to the ball and slotted home from a tight angle, his 10th of the season. Runcorn then battened down the hatches and dug in for a bit of a fight and the game turned scrappy, typical derby game really. Chester doubled their advantage in the 40th minute with a route one special. Andy Harris put one of his long throws right onto the edge of the six yard box where Jamie Heard rose to head home under considerable pressure. Chester undoubtedly had the better of the half but Runcorn fought all the way and can be credited for keeping Chester down to the three efforts on goal that they had. The slightly disappointing aspect for the Runcorn boss would be that two of those efforts had gone in. 2-0 at the half.
Runcorn kept fighting in the second half, and were unlucky not to get on the score sheet when they put together the move of the match on the hour. Unfortunately the Runcorn striker headed straight at Brown. Chester didn't manage any more shots on target in the game, mainly due to the hard work of the Runcorn defence. The Runcorn captain Butler was sent off for arguing late on. Heard was named man-of-the-match for a one goal, one assist effort. Chester march on in the Trophy.

I was pleased to have been named Manager of the Month for January, to be honest after New Year's Day at Aldershot it seemed a long way off, but the lads have come good and put together a good run of late.

Kevin Rapley was named Conference Player of the Month for January, and he's deserved it, switching to the left obviously suits him.

Michael Twiss's second goal against Hereford, the 25 yarder was named third in the Conference goal of the month.

BarryLFC

looking good