retired_charlene

Pfft. Zamora was pants in that game. He made Emile Heskey look deadly.

----------------------------------------------------------------

"Well, I'd better make a move."

"Oh come on Al, surely you can stay for another?"

"Nah, I've got loads to do tomorrow, shouldn't really have come at all. Tell Joe that I've gone, OK?"

I looked over towards Joe, and smiled.

"Yeah, I will if he ever puts her down." Alex laughed.

"Hmm, he should be finished with her some time tomorrow morning, eh? I'll see you two later."

"Bye Al."

Jen waved to Alex, and then turned back to me. "Just us two now then?"

"Isn't it always?" She nodded. She knew I was right.

"You spoken to Beth yet?" I knew she was going to say that.

"I knew you were going to say that. No, not yet."

"It's probably for the best anyway. We don't want you two getting together, and then breaking up. It'll mess up things for all of us."

"I guess you're right. It's just...I don't know, it's like...this time I was so sure. The other girls, I liked them, but...it seemed different with Beth."

"Probably because you've been friends with her for so long. Not like that Claire you went out with..."

"Oh God, was it two hours that she'd been at the school before I asked her out?"

"It was much closer to one by my watch."

"Checking up, were we?"

"No, I just...Anyway, you two didn't last the day in the end. One of your longer lasting relationships..."

"Hmm, and that coming from the girl who wouldn't know what a second date was if it came round and nicked her car stereo?"

"Well...I just haven't met the right guy yet."

"And who is the right guy?" She was starting to get a bit embarrassed.

"Oh, I don't know..."

"Come on, there must be someone round here you like..."

"Not really..." She was definitely starting to get a bit embarrassed. I looked at her, and saw that look in her eyes.

"There is, isn't there?" I started to get quite excited. "Come on, who is he? Do I know him?"

"...Oh, you know him."

"Who is it?"

"...I can't tell you."

"Oh go on! I won't tell anyone, you know I won't. Who is it?"

"No really, I can't tell you."

"Ok, suit yourself," I said, "I'm just gonna nip off to the toilets, I'll talk to you in a while."

"OK then, I'll you another drink for then."

"Cheers Jen."

I didn't get there in the end. Someone got to me first...

retired_charlene

"Nick!"

It was exactly what I didn't want to hear.

"Beth!" I faked a smile as she approached

"What are you doing here? I thought you had training to do?"

"Oh, I had a...match today, so I...don't..." There was a guy standing right next to Beth. He was looking right at me. "Can I help you mate?"

"Oh sorry," Beth said, "I should have introduced you two straight away. Nick, this is James. James, Nick."

"Oh right."

"Great to meet you Nick! Beth's told me all about you," he said.

"All good I hope..." I really didn't want to talk to him, but I didn't really have much choice.

"HAHAHAHAHA!" It was the worst laugh I'd ever heard. It had a similar effect to the old 'nails down a blackboard' trick, only far more painful. "You're as funny as Beth said!"

And then it got worse.

"Right, I'll get the drinks in," Beth said as she got up. She was going to leave me alone with him. "What are you having?"

"Pint for me please babe."

"Nick?"

"...Sorry?"

"Drink?"

"Oh, pint."

"OK, just a minute."

And she went. It was just me and him. I'd only known him for a minute, and I hated him already. He just sat there, grinning at me like an idiot for what seemed like an hour. In reality it was about five seconds before he tried to start a conversation...

"So...you play football?"

"Er, yeah..."

"Any good?"

"Well, I don't like to blow my own trumpet, but..."

"I'm sure being a footy player you can get loads of girls to 'blow your trumpet' for you, if you know what I mean HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

It was getting more annoying.

"...I guess."

"Or guys. You know, if that's your sort of thing. Each to their own, you know..."

He started to look around uncomfortably. From football to me being gay in about twenty seconds. That must be some sort of record...

"That's what I like about Beth, you know? Knows exactly what to do in all the right areas, if you know what I mean HAHAHAHAHA!"

I had never been as pleased to see Beth as I was then.

"Here you go you two," she said as she handed us our drinks.

"Cheers," I said. After the last few minutes, I needed it, so much so I nearly downed the lot in one go. Not that either of them noticed. To thank her for the drink he gave her a quick kiss, which turned into a longer one, and ended up with his tongue halfway down her throat. And every last second of it felt like it was tearing me in two.

"Right," I said. They didn't notice.

"I'm going to go..." They still didn't notice. I put my glass down on the table, and got up.

"Cheers for the drink," I muttered, and walked off. From what I saw, they never did notice...

retired_train2paris

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by nickgreenan:


He started to look around uncomfortably. From football to me being gay in about twenty seconds. That must be some sort of record...

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Classic stuff

retired_bbcarr

top stuff

Raptor

Congratulations on the latest Story of the Week award

retired_hunar_s

Well done.

retired_xs2khizar

This is excellent Nick, well done.

BarryLFC

yay, my vote counts

retired_jbry24

Really nice story - pure fantasy, or is there some basis in real life?

Good luck with the ladies and good luck on the pitch (although not in the clash of West London's finest)...

Cheers,
Don

retired_charlene

Cheers guys, this being Story of the Week is tops, so thanks to whoever decides that (I really should pay more attention to these things...)

Don, I wish that this was based on real life, but unfortunately I'm much more likely to turn out for Brentford than I am to have two lovely ladies about, but there you go...

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"The green plastic watering can..." I sang at the top of my voice.

"Nick..." Jen was obviously as embarrassed as I would have been had I not been drunk off my arse.

"For her fake Chinese rubber plant..."

"Nick."

"In the fake pla-AAAA-stic earth!"

"Nick!"

"...What?"

"Shut up!"

"What was I...?"

"You were singing again. Jeez, you make running your nails down a blackboard sound tuneful..."

"I'm sorry, you know? It's just..."

I sat down on the kerb, and Jen sat down next to me.

"...sometimes I think I'm such a loser..."

"Why would you think that? You're great. You've got a great future ahead of you, you're funny, good looking...what more could you want?"

"...A girl, for one thing. I mean, I'm 17 and I've never been with a girl. I feel like such an idiot...they just don't want to know..."

"Oh come on! Any girl would love to have you as a boyfriend! I know loads of girls who want to go out with you!"

"...Yeah right. Perhaps they should try letting me know..."

"Well, perhaps they're too scared," she said nervously. I didn't notice. I was busy trying to make out what my watch said.

"Oh God, my mum is going to kill me if I turn up drunk again..."

"...Um, you could always come back to my house. I'm sure I could make room for you somewhere..."

"Nah, you're alright. I'll just take whatever my mum throws at me...See you later."

"See you Nick."

"...She lives with a broken man, a cracked polystyrene man..."