BarryLFC

*notes that even though one bite of lembas will sustain a grown man for 3 days, Terk has brought three loaves of it and is already on the second*

retired_bbcarr

*wonders why HD is surprised by this, and if he knows about the other two loaves hidden in his bag*

retired_pahuja_satish

[To Terk] Who ate all the lembas? Who ate all the lembas?

retired_destiny1124

Pokes HD with an arrow from the quiver and notices the various runes posted on the board...those don't look promising

retired_Kemp

"Good morning class".

Gandalf magically appears in front of the board. He looks around in the auditorium.

"Welcome to Football Management 101. Now, let's see if I recognize any of you students. Oh, young master Terk, what a surprise, is this your 4th attempt at this course?"

"Halbarad, is that you? Well somehow I figured you would be up for a challenge. Just try not to disturb the class to much."

"And the young Faramir too. Be careful with that arrow. Somehow I believe you will fare better in this class than your brother did. He simply didn't have the patience for management."

"Is that apple for me? Why, thank you cms186. As they say: An apple a day keeps Saruman away....if you can hit him."

"What did you say young master Carrplos? Leave early? Not a chance, but you can close the window over there and tell that young dopehead OMDave to drag his arse inside the classroom."

"Welcome SoS. I believe you dropped something. And quite accurately I might add"

"And welcome to you too, BoN. Is everything well? Did you remember to wash your hands? Please consider a seat closer to the door."

Gandalf returns to the podium, and turns on a strange machine. Pictures start to appear on the board.

"Now, let's get started. We'll be using this simulator to show how football management is done in Lower Earth. As you've already read in the course material, we'll be starting in the Scottish Premier League. Here you can see a list of clubs, and for this semester, I've desided that we'll start with this club, Hiberian. It's not a very remarkable club, in fact they haven't won the title for more than 50 years, but nevertheless it seems like a good place for you to learn the basics."

"Now, the first thing to do when taking over a club, is to find out what the board and the supporters expect of you. In this case the board expects nothing at all, which is quite worrying. The supporters expect a safe midtable position. If we take a look at the finances, we'll see that the club is in debt, which may explain the low expectations from the board. Nevertheless there is 137K of the local currency available for transfers."

"Let's jump right into it and start analysing the players at our disposal. The main types of players we'll be needing are Goalkeepers, Centerbacks, Fullbacks, Central midfielders, Wingers and Strikers. Each of these types needs to be strong in different sets of attributes. First goalkeepers."

"Class, which attributes should we be looking for in a good goalkeeper? Anyone?"

retired_bbcarr

"Someone agile, sir?

And it's my fifth try. I took the course in it's first year when Professor Saruman was here."

retired_shandipope

mmaattyy signing up late Sir

Sorry, Terk told me the wrong room number

retired_Kemp

"Indeed, young master Terk. Agility is a good thing for a keeper, but let's not forget other skills as handling, jumping, arial ability and positioning either. Saruman ehh, no wonder you haven't passed yet. Let me know if you need an apple. And welcome to you, mmaattyy, I presume you've already learned a lesson. Right, let's take a look at the available keepers at Hibernian."

Goalkeepers:

Morten Hyldgaard, GK, Danish, 25: Looks like a good keeper with good allround skills. Will be 1st choice between the posts.

Daniel Andersson, GK, Swedish, 30: Good goalkeeping skills, but the lazy ******* wouldn't lift a finger for the team. Backup.

Ian Westwater, GK/Coach, English, 39: This veteran is well past his prime, and should never see action again. Listed for transfer.

Nick Colgan, GK, Irish, 29: Decent keeper, but we're already covered, so he's listed for transfer, and currently loaned out to Stockport.

Alistair Brown, GK, Scottish, 18: Hot prospect loaned out to Cowdenbeath. He will have to grow mentally if he wants to make the first team.

"Now it's time for the fullbacks. A good fullback should excel in these areas: Tackling, marking, crossing and determination. Passing, dribbling, pace and long throws aren't bad either. At Hibernian we've got:"

Fullbacks:

Gary Smith, D RC, Scottish, 32: His mental skills earns him a place in the first team, where he'll appear on rotation as right back.

Alen Orman, D/DM R, Bosnian, 25: Somewhar lacking mentally, his pace and technical skills still earns him rotation as right back.

Roland Edge, D L, English, 24: Decent left back, who'll appear on rotation.

Allan Dempsie, D RL, Scottish, 20: Another promising youth for rotation as left back. Could use better tackling and marking though.

"In the center we need centerbacks. These are crucial for our success, and they need the following skills: Pace, jumping, heading, marking, tackling and positioning. They also benefit from aggression, bravery, determination, teamwork and strength. These are tough criteria, so let's see how the defenders at Hibernian measure up."

Centerbacks:

Yannick Zambernardi, SW/D LC, French, 25: Good defender, who'll easily claim a spot in the lineup.

Mathias Doumbe, D RC, French, 23: Another certain starter to complete the french connection in the center.

Paul Fenwick, SW/D C, Canadian, 33: A veteran who'll make a useful backup.

Colin Murdock, SW/D C, Northern Irish, 26: A backup defender, who will not see too much action due to lacking pace.

Colin Morton, D C, Scottish, 22: He can head the ball, but that's it. Transfer listed.

Johnathan Baillie, D C, Scottish, 17: A hot prospect, who may or may not make it into the first team.

Jamie McKenzie, D C, Scottish, 18: Another hot prospect with a lot to learn.

Steve Fletcher, D/DM C, Scottish, 17: I'm a bit unsure about this one, but we'll let him hang around for a season, and see how he develops.

"Next we'll take a look at the midfielders, both central and wingers. What should we look for here? Anyone?"

BarryLFC

creativity, vision, awareness, improvisataional skills?

retired_confal2

*posts a note outside Professor Gandalf's office, reading: "I may be persuaded to drag myself into your classes if you teach me the trick with the smoke. Yours absently, etc."*