retired_anwarwahhab

Hi, yeah I’ve done the same with the E-mails as I know a few that can relate and in my case it was a Nova not a Uno that I had with the sound up loud. And to think when your 17 you think it’s a cool a ****. :o

It’s

“50 pence -in da pub.” On the old mp3.



Sav.

Eileeno671

The English Invade, but dont look like conquerors

After the long boring drive into the wilderness that is north of the border. I arrive at the training ground of my new club Stenhousemuir, actually I’m informed later this is actually the clubs ground. Anyway, after being given the guided tour, the grand speech by Mr. Chairman and being told to "eff off foreigner" by a couple of old duffers renewing their season tickets, I walk to the actual club training ground to meet the players for the first time.

The lads were in the middle of their training session, and with the final words from the chairman of “we want promotion” still ringing in my ears, only one word sprang to mind, f**k. Frankly they were so bad that I went straight back to the Chaiman’s office and questioned him on the morality of selling season tickets to people with senile dementia. His answer improved my optimism about the job when he mentioned that once we sold a thousand season tickets, all the money gained from season tickets sales after that went to my transfer fund, with this assurance tucked away I wandered off to explore my new kingdom, on my travels I bump into John, the ticket office manager, after exchanging pleasantries etc, I quiz him on what kind of gates we get, the figure maybe a thousand, led me to think one thing, “my chairman is a c**t” as it quickly dawned on me that my transfer budget was non-existent and one hundred percent certain to stay that way.

Pre-Season

Went Badly

Players Out

Yeah right, like anyone would buy this crud

Players In

Yeah right, like anyone would buy this crud, I wish I hadn’t bothered.

Challenge Cup

V Alloa

Went Very Badly, if only Jim had been managing them :p

retired_gallant_pat

Its the biggest Scandal to hit Scottish Football, infact it almost rivals the Mo Johnson rangers transfer in 1989 for big time news. Let me divulge some back ground information.

Montrose is a village on the east coast of Scotland. A place steeped in glorious history, well glorious if you are a Rangers supporter...

Montrose hosted all the English Kings during the wars of independence in the 11th, 12th and 13th centuries as their main base for the English garrisons. It was here also that John Knox held the first protestant communion in Scotland as the reformation took hold in the middle ages.

Today Montrose has a more sedate existance. The population has been in decline since the 17th century. The cenus in 1781 showed a population of 26571, in 1991 it lay at 18874. There is no real explanation of this as Montroses thrives under the watchful umbrella of the oil and pharmaceuticals industries. The Theory that all the people that travelled on the weekly coaches to Ibrox have eventually decided to settle in the Govan area of Glasgow remains unproven .

After the unfortunate passing of Grand Master, typo, manager, Henry Hall at the young farmers ceilidh, heart attack, the Montrose board had to appoint a new manager and swiftly before the new season. Chairman John Paton unbeknown to the his fellow compatriots has succumbed to his midsleep four leaf clover dreams and decided to break the mantle.

For the first time in Montrose's history, the new managers surname didnt begin with Mac and he didnt double tap your palm with his index finger when he shook your hand, the manager was a tic supporter from Royston yours truly Alex Holligan.

The local club fanzine "the gable ender" ran the exclusive, in which new manager Alex Holligan spelled out his new ideals...

"The problem with Rose is that they have been under the spell of the "forces of darkness for too long thats why they are a poor shadow of the great team of the seventies, the team that once beat raith rovers 6-2. I plan to banish the links with the legions of doom back to castle greyskull never to be associated with this club again. For a start present club captain Farnarn has been placed on the transfer list. This season i plan to play attractive flowing football that of which has never been seen outside of paradise before. The plan to play in green tops instead of the normal bland royal blue unfortunately has been denied by the board, they think this is a bridge too far. One last step that i have taken during my short time in charge so far is to swap theme tunes for the squad as they enter the pitch, out goes that depressing pop debacle "simply the best" and in come that feel good song, hymn 11, king of kings"

that is all.......

retired_gallant_pat

Montrose have the basis of a good squad. Striker Martin Wood can definately play at a higher level and will be the key player that the new look side will be built around.

Its obvious that if Montrose are to play the attractive football that the new gaffer craves, alot of new faces will have to bolster the ranks. This is a skill the dogmeister excels at. Pure hunners of players came in to fill the squad, with portuguese player Artur Coreira being the noticed standout.


The first game was against Ally's Elgin, in what i thought would be tough away encounter. Truth be told i think i could put out my youngsters and still be celebrating a win. Elgin were dire and didn't even manage a single shot. Trose won 2-0 through goals by McEwan and Herbert without getting out of first gear, i hope every game this season is like this, or even better could i just play Ally 36 times :p

retired_delfin

### Game up tonight Sharp at 7pm for any last minute T & T before the season starts proper. Its 8pm official start chug so get on early if ye wanna do stuff. I would like to welcome back Stuart Redmond aka PM7 back to the Clan. The bootroom & CMS legend is a former Clan memeber and has nothing to prove, he will replace Jim as a team in Division 2. Cya's tonight for a few games hopefully! ###

retired_Leeburnett

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Rosco Van Nistelrooy: Game up tonight Sharp at 7pm for any last minute T & T before the season starts proper.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Is there still some players left out there? Soon fix that...

Ally

retired_Leeburnett

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>i hope every game this season is like this, or even better could i just play Ally 36 times :p<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

:o Sorry mate, but I doubt that I can think up another 35 excuses for not getting a shot on target. :o

Ally

retired_kellywinkler42

Welcome aboard PM.

I look forward to maintaning my 100% record tonight.

shannon2007

[pic here]


Something's Fishy Here

What's this? I asked my PA, Is this some kind of sick joke?

She looked at me, startled, not knowing what to say, which was hardly surprising since she hardly spoke a word of English. She was from Dundee after all.

Ah dont know. She said with that bemused look on her face that the Scottish sports journalists got when asked about something not to do with the 'Old Firm'. Its just.... well you said.... And like every woman when confronted with an unsurmountable problem, she burst into tears.

So here I was, stuck in this two bit town, with a football team I hated, whilst someone else, some two-bit, no-good nobody had jumped into bed with my favourite club, the club I had nurtured and cherised since I was a lad, whom I had faithfully supported all my life, going faithfully to Hampden to watch them get gubbed by Rangers whilst pretending to wear a Rangers scarf. It was only pretend I tell you.

And so here I was. Oh, the daft bitch had gotten the general area right, but she had gotten the town woefully wrong. How the hell can you mix up Forfar and Arbroath. Even if you are a dumb blonde from Dundee, with enormous... erm potential.

Bah, well ok then. If I had to take this club. This useless, crap, pathetic little club, whose only claim to fame is they once beat another pathetic and crap by 36-0 before Jesus born, yet think people still care. If I had to take them, I would. It was a win win situation. If we did well, I would be great. Well great-er, since I'm already a massive legend. And if we failed. Well, hahahaha, I'd be so gutted.

So then, lets see what these useless fannys can do... not a lot I suspect.

[This message was edited by Peacemaker7 on 09 February 2004 at 14:54.]

allygator

Players In
<UL TYPE=SQUARE>
Craig Farr - Free
Jamie Cassidy - Free
Chris Mackie - Free
Paul Dempsey - Free
Matt Wicks - Free
Scott Jones - Free
Craig Fishlock - Free
Gavin Duncan - Auchinleck - £1k
Olafur Valdimar Juliusson - HK - £2K
</UL>

Players Out
<UL TYPE=SQUARE>
None
</UL>

Loans In
<UL TYPE=SQUARE>
Andy Dowie - Rangers
</UL>

Results
<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre"> Challenge 1st - Ochilview - Falkirk 6 - 0 Dumbarton Rodgers 29 Latapy pen 32 Lawrie 45 McPherson 68 McMenamin 74,83 </pre>

Well not exactly the start i would have liked, but it shows that some serouis work has to be undertaken at the Strathclyde Homes Stadium.

Perhaps the worst part is that we didn't create any chances of our own and to be honest we didn't look like creating anything all night, people such as Paddy Flannery have to really pick up their game if we have to have any chance of getting off to a winning start when the league campaign starts as it is imperitve that we do for atleast to inject confidence into the side and look to putting as many points as possible on the table.