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Old 02-03-2004, 06:49 PM   The Scottish Clan 03/04 Netgame! Post #21
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The train has now left the platform at Station park and gaffer Turps and his new Loon troops are joint bookies favourites for the 2nd division title this season. The current squad inherited has descent players in every department, but the influx of new talent will add competition for places and strength and depth for the forthcoming campaign. The preseason and start of such games are mostly tedious affairs but some descent signing's were captured in the transfer frenzy thats is the Scottish netgame.

Initially the squad was streamlined and many players deemed inferior for the task were discarded or on the transfer list to make way for the new. Some of the existing squad who remained in the gaffers plans accepted lower longterm deals as the club strived to attain a profitable playing field. The whole backroom staff were deamed not good enough and were promptly releaved of their duties to make way for the new. Gaffer Turps is pleased to announce that Joe McLaughlan and Ray Clemence will be joining him in the dug out as assistants. A whole new scouting staff were employed along with some descent young coaches, as gaffer Turps believed that getting the backroom right would benefit the club greatly in the longterm.

Preseason went well with the team reaching fitness fast. of the friendlies played some good results were achieved. A few players left immediately and some out of contract players were secured in the process. Gaffer Turps has some funds to spend but will only use wisely, when the right players become available. The squad has been streamlined and taylored to fit the new system. The clubs's training has had a radical overhaul and the young players look set to benefit and improve as the club moves forward. The whole club is being transformed to play at a higher level and as a result players like Porhalsson of Iclandic club Por have agreed to join when their contracts terminate. His fellow country man Kristiansson agreed terms also only to controversially switch to lower division Queens Park! Heres who came and went in preseason...

STAFF OUT

<UL TYPE=SQUARE><LI>1.8.2003Miller, Ian- Sacked <LI>1.8.2003Castle, Peter- Sacked
<LI>1.8.2003Mitchell, Derek- Sacked</UL>

STAFF IN

<UL TYPE=SQUARE><LI>14.7.2003Colley, DaveFree Transfer <LI>14.7.2003Jarrett, DavidFree Transfer
<LI>14.7.2003Clemence, RayFree Transfer
<LI>14.7.2003Barnes, DavidFree Transfer
<LI>15.7.2003John, IanFree Transfer
<LI>15.7.2003Field, SpencerFree Transfer
<LI>16.7.2003Hughes, JeffFree Transfer
<LI>16.7.2003Berry, TrevorFree Transfer
<LI>16.7.2003Brandts, ErnieFree Transfer
<LI>17.7.2003Allan, HughFree Transfer
<LI>18.7.2003McLaughlin, JoeFree Transfer</UL>

PLAYERS IN

<UL TYPE=SQUARE><LI>14.7.2003McAdam, StevenFree Transfer <LI>14.7.2003Bell, AndrewFree Transfer
<LI>15.7.2003McAllister, RossFree Transfer
<LI>15.7.2003O'Donnell, PhilFree Transfer
<LI>17.7.2003Gibson, BillyFree Transfer
<LI>17.7.2003Barclay, JohnFree Transfer
<LI>18.7.2003Paliczka, SeanFree Transfer
<LI>19.7.2003Macdonald, BillyFree Transfer</UL>

PLAYERS OUT

<UL TYPE=SQUARE><LI>18.7.2003Williams, DavidHamilton£4K <LI>18.7.2003Mann, PaulPeterhead£1K
<LI>19.7.2003Duncan, GeorgeAnnan£6K
<LI>3.8.2003Tovey, ScottStranraer£1K
<LI>4.8.2003Scott, DarrenOakley Utd£2K
<LI>6.8.2003Stewart, DavidCove Rangers£5K</UL>

CHALLENGE CUP OPENING GAME

The 1st game of the of the season was at home to Tracy's Hamilton. The game was very tight and after 90mins was a 0-0 stalemate. Both teams had chances but when the game went to a penalty shoot out, Hamilton kept their nerve and dumped the Loons out the low league cup. Not a great start but the competitive match gave the 1st team a good run out ready for the season opener.
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Old 02-03-2004, 11:47 PM   The Scottish Clan 03/04 Netgame! Post #22
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PAINFUL

The expression on new manager Burnett's face said it all as he watched the 'Shire' humiliated by Morton in the challenge cup 1st round and going by the pile of cigarette butts lying by his feet, his lungs took a battering as well.

We managed a quick interview as Burnett took the club for extra training on Sunday morning

"A dire situation?" Burnett grimaced "I took one look at the squad and called in the recievers myself..excuse me...hey fukcface!..the same colour shirt!..pass it to the same colour shirt..sorry about that a wee bit tactical training there..what were you saying?"

"Its looking grim."

"Grim is not the word, the club came off badly during the war or pre-season transfer market as some like to call it and there are a lot of positions that we were desperate but unable to find cover for, if we start to experiance injuries an already bleak future will become very black indeed."

"is there nothing to bring a smile to the East Stirling faithful?"

"There is light at the end of the tunnel, but its a long long tunnel, I've strengthed the coaching dept and the experiance and knowledge there will filter down onto the field but its going to take time, you witnessed the Morton game, after we went three down we just fell apart, I saw guy's out there who just didnt know how to compete.
you have to remember these are just young lads barely legal age to vote, they are learning their craft, they are going to have to battle hard every match and any points won will be hard won, each one of this squad will have to confront and win their own personnal battles, they've got weakness's, we all have weakness's, but its the forging together of individual elements into a cohesive unit, a team, thats our initial goal, others can go chasing what they percieve to be glory but the real glory is here working with the raw elements."

With that, Burnett strode off, sharp blast's from his whistle drew the attention of the young men on the practise field, young men with fear on their faces but a fire in their eyes, young men who now believed here was a man who could restore their belief, here was a man who could give them pride and dignity.
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Old 02-03-2004, 11:50 PM   The Scottish Clan 03/04 Netgame! Post #23
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nae wonder Scottish football is in such a mess its that Ally Shaw , he’s signed everyone. That list brings tears to my eyes :eek: and I had to laugh when I actually had to scroll down such a listing (thats some dam good work Ally). God it makes my one loan and four staff signings look pitiful. I’ll have to be more active on the old free signing front next time.


Sav.
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Old 02-04-2004, 01:10 AM   The Scottish Clan 03/04 Netgame! Post #24
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Shocking scenes were witnessed by our undercover reporter at an East Stirling pre-season party, here is hidden camera footage of manager Thomas Burnett at the microphone singing to the tune of Bohemian Rasberry.

Is this the real life? Is it the methedone?
Stuck in the Gorbals, two bob fur the telephone?
Open yer wine, an' talk wi' a swine like me
Um just a weeji, gie us yer Sunny D
Cos I'll chib yer pal, rip yer da, slash yer dug, ride yer ma!
Anyway the Clyde flows, disnae really matter tae me.....tae me.

Haw maw, just chibbed some bam
Buckie bottle tae the heid
An noo the fukin' *******s deid!
Haw maw, um just oan parole
An noo I'm headin back tae Barlineeeee...

Haw Maw, oohooh ooh
Never meant tae steal yer purse
But if I'm no fu' o' smack this time the morra'
Carry oot, Carry oot!
An we'll go oot on the batter!

Too late, the bailiff's here
Sends shivers doon ma spine
Gubbed 10 jellies just in time
Goodbye all ma muckers, I've got tae go
Got to go and rip some **** fae up the scheme
Haw Maw, oohooh oooh
I'm a jakey bam I sometimes think I've never been washed at all

I see a little silhouetto of a bam
Adidas! Adidas! Can ye get us a kerry oot?
Thunderbird, White Lightening, very very frightening to me!
Twenty Mayfair, Twenty Mayfair, Twenty Mayfair and some skins
Magnifico oh oh oh oh!

I'm just a fat boy, nae body loves me
He's just a fat boy fae a fat family!
Spare us a pound for a wee cup o' tea?
Gat tae fuk, skanky slob, will ye get a job?
For fuksake NO I will not get a job
Get a job
For fuksake I will not get a job
Get a job,
Will not get a job
Get a job
Will not get a job
no no no no no.....

Oh gonorrheoea! gonnorrhoea! gonnorhoea and the clap!
Then doon the pub, for the hash the barman put aside for me?
For me, for meeee!

So you hink ye can slash me an pish in ma eye?
So ye hink ye can chib me an leave me tae die?
Haw bawbag, can't dae this tae me bawbag!
Just wait till I'm oot, just wait till I'm right oot ma nut!!

Fuk all really matters, anyone can see
Fuk all really matters.....
Fuk all really matter tae meeeeeee.
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Old 02-04-2004, 06:06 PM   The Scottish Clan 03/04 Netgame! Post #25
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Alloa Anouncement

It is with much regret that I have to inform you all that I will be unable to take over the Alloa job in the latest fest. I am in the process of selling and buying a new house and over the next couple of months just will not have the time needed to devote myself to the Clan game.

I hope to apply for a job near the end of April.

Enjoy the festing.

Jim

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Old 02-04-2004, 07:04 PM   The Scottish Clan 03/04 Netgame! Post #26
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yes Jim let us know when yer free again
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Old 02-04-2004, 08:58 PM   The Scottish Clan 03/04 Netgame! Post #27
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So the Alloa Job for Jimbhoy is on hold, I’ll still be in the third by April anyway so if they get the drop without your skilled leadership I’ll get to play you when you return.

Good luck in the move. :thup:

Now were did I put my shortlist for Alloa!
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Old 02-06-2004, 09:26 PM   The Scottish Clan 03/04 Netgame! Post #28
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With only two new players coming in and two new staff members the fans are seriously wondering if Watson has what it takes to manage Hamilton.
The players were
young Gk Jamie campbell - FREE
Left winger Daniel Williams from Forfar for £4k

The staff brought in though are more encouraging former England International Andy Gray has been brought in as a coach for the first team and former Algerian International Mehdi Cerbah has been brought in as the new Goalkeeping coach.

No one has left New Douglas park and with no extra finances coming in it is wondered where the team will go from here.

An encouraging start was made though as Hamilton fought out a hard battle to draw with Forfar, the game went to penalties and Hamilton won by one penalty.
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Old 02-06-2004, 10:54 PM   The Scottish Clan 03/04 Netgame! Post #29
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Nice posts lads a good read as always. :thup:
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Old 02-07-2004, 12:54 AM   The Scottish Clan 03/04 Netgame! Post #30
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Forgot to say earlier, LOVED the song Bod and whenever I see any wee neds on Coatbridge Main Street now I'll be thinking of Fray Bentos pie and humming your wee tune.
I hope it's not copyrighted or anything because I'm sending it to everybody I know
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