[retired_lgrimz]

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[retired_lgrimz]

Franco Cataldo was appointed manager of Sheffield Utd, expectations are high as the italian is expected to add some flair to a side that is often so close but yet so far. Exctement is building all around Sheffield, and brammal lane are looking good for being an EPL ground next season, with stars like Michael Tonge, things couldn't look better for the Blades title assault.

In the transfer market Sheffield are going to have to offload first and Cataldo has already begun, Page is rumoured to be leaving for around 500k which would allow Cataldo to bring in that creative spark up top.

Up first in the league are Derby at home, and then a tough trip to West Ham where he will come face to face with Rich Hughes (ookr).

[retired_swanman1988]

Unknown takes over at WBA

The fans and media alike were left dumbfounded earlier today when they discovered that manager Rich Stevens had turned down the oppurtunity to take over his beloved Brighton team and instead has gone for the oppurtunity to take over at WBA. Chairmaln Jeremy Peace has revealed his delight at landing the 35 year old life long seagulls fan but a lot of the fans do not share his optimism......

Reports are saying that his first signing will be a striker, and he may even "do a Reading* and try and sign Brightons young striker Leon Knight, whether the seagulls would let him go is another matter....

[Random_Student]

Preston opt for a Finn, again

You remember Teuvo Moilanen, one of the greatest goalkeepers ever? Well he was from Finland and so is the new manager of Preston North End. Ossi Saarinen was was unveiled as the new manager in the press conference where he talked about his backround.

"My first manager experience was with Championship Manager 1. It was fun and got me interested about coaching. After that i have played all the CM's there is but I have also coached a real Football team. the appointment was a shock to me but I would like to thank Teuvo for puting a good word for me. He's a model proffesional and still a legend in here"

When asked about the goals of the season Mr. Saarinen was very optimistic and promised that Preston would reach to the play-off spot.

And so ends the press conference. Action, drama, and so on... Kwak, kwak

[retired_lovelyminoo]

Caleyjag returns from Stornoway

Rangers Manager Caleyjag has returned from Stornoway but insists he was not their to scout players:

"look, I told you before, p**s off!" he told the Daily Record.

The Sun is still sticking to its story that Caley is set to sign a local farm-labourer and fishmonger (the one with 10 fingers) for a nominal fee of 2 hebridean lassies and a poke of chips

[Stringfellow]

Hibs Boss Bites Back At Killie Manager

Speaking in a conference earlier today, Ferbre has revealed that he was shocked to hear the Killie's bosses comments and insists that it was all down to Mat's prolonged spells of farting about and poor ability to prepare with the time given.

He said "I'm really disappointed that we already have an awkward situation before the season has even started, but we have them at Easter Road on the second game of the season and that will sort the men from boys and I'm sure our lads won't be phased by the underhand tactics of an imcompetent coach"

So it all hangs on that game at Easter Road, the pressure is sure to be intense but will surely be a great atmosphere and hopefully a game to remember.

[retired_lovelyminoo]

Caley's starts war of words with Stan, Ferbre & Mat

Gers gaffer caleyjag has today slammed Celtic, Hibs and Kilmarnock managers for giving their fans false hope for the upcoming season.

"It's disgusting that they are letting their fans beleive that they might actually win something this year when everyone else knows that this wont happen. Its conning the fans out of hard earned money to come along to see their team. Hopefully the managers will see sense and tell their supporters the TRUTH about how well they will do. MON THE GERS!"

The Sun is now in it's third day publishing reports of Rangers signing a couple of lads from Stornoway, although they now say the contracts have hit a snag with the fishmonger wanting 2 pokes of chips, and not the one.

A club "insider" says: "I dinnae ken whit yer jabbering on aboot pal by the way"

The Sun has translated this as meaning "contracts shall be finalised on Friday"

Manager caley was interupted by the press in training for the upcoming match against Hibs, as they enquired about these Stornoway rumours.

"Look, I told you before, p*** off!" he said.

[retired_start66]

Premiership titans battle to appoint rookie manager

It emerged today that a fierce biddding war is taking place between two premiership clubs in the race to attain the coverted signature of the hottest young manager in the country.

Ando82's incredible acheivements in guiding his local five-a-side team to the semi-finals of the County Durham Under 21s competition has sparked interest across the continent but Ando had made it clear he has decided to take up a post in the Premiership.

It is thought that overtures from Arsenal and Man United have been rebuffed by Ando, and that the only clubs left with a realistic chance of gaining his appointment are Portsmouth and Spurs. As a lifelong Lilywhite, Ando has made no secret of his belief that he is the man to lead Tottenham out of the dolldrums in which they currently reside but a possible obstacle to his taking up the reigns at White Hart Lane is Gary Doherty.

Ando has campaigned fiercely for the last three years to have Doherty removed from the Spurs squad by force and to have all record of him ever having bespoiled the hallowed turf of the Lane be removed from memory in Orwellian fashion. An unsuccessful court case brought by Anderson against the abomination that is Gary Doherty has soured relationships somewhat and it is believed that Anderson may have to ply his trade at Portsmouth instead.

The South coast club have been in poor form recently and Anderson is seen as the man most likely to save them from relegation in their first season in the Premiership. Negotiations are occuring throughout today and an annuncement as to the final destination of Ando is to be made tonight with both clubs having called press conferences for 8.00pm.

The world of football holds its breath...

[retired_lovelyminoo]

World of football to break breath holding record

At 8pm tonight, the world of football should officialy be the holder of the record for longest time anything has held its breath. ever. After ando82's post announcing the challenge football has placed itself in the rest of the world gasped. Probably to wind the world of football up.

[retired_delfin]

Cmon' the Ayrshires Finest beat those glory HUNters and Hibees sh¡te