retired_embartl

Not if he's using an older edition he's not :p

retired_bbcarr

PM, i wouldn't have dared place you anywhere but forfar cheers, dave and gary :thup: and brian, after following your listen laddie tale i thought there was no better place for you to begin. and i'm using FM, btw

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Contestant # 6: Donners (East Stirling)

Famed for his time with Rushden, and the epic tales that ensued, Donners has more recently been telling us of his trials and tribulations at Italian side Ancona. Given the obvious love he has for bringing the underdog through the ranks, the Raptor Group thought it fitting to place him at possibly the worst side in Scottish football, East Stirling. A side who have been setting all kinds of records for being utterly shît, Donners may find leniency from the voting public if he manages to guide the side to even a solitary victory. Given the shîteness of his side, we're expecting some amount of sympathy from the voters and don't expect him to fall victim in the first round of eliminations.


Contestant # 7: Faramir (Stirling)

Given a second division club who are likely to be found paddling about in mid-table, Faramir's time on the show could go either way depending on his first six months in charge. If he gets to grips with management quickly and finds some good results, the success will keep him in the running and may find him a place in the higher echelons of the game. A bad start, however, could see things spiral out of control and the forum helper cound find that power means nothing when faced with vindictive internet voters.


Contestant # 8: flipsix3 (Gretna)

Supporting a club that has developed a real nack from breaking the legs of Liverpool players hardly gets him into my good books, but that mattered not during club allocation as he was placed at one of the more attractive prospects in the third division. New to the Scottish ladder, Gretna have one of the stronger squad available to them, and with a bit of money provided by the chairman as well, flipsix should be in charge of a team capable of winning promotion. If he survives past Christmas, that is.


Contestant # 9: glamdring (Stenhousemuir)

Another of the sides who can very rarely dream of anything higher than the third division, 'Muir have to look all the back to 1961 for their last First Division success, one which came hot on the heels of their only other trophy in that league, gained in 1959. More recently, they managed to come third in division two in 1994 and finish runner-up in division three in 1999. Needless to say, expectations are not particularly high. Mid-table is almost a dead-set certainty.


Contestant # 10: gonch19 (East Fife)

One of FMS' 'New Fish', gonch himself chose to write a story about East Fife so he really has only himself to blame for being placed there for the purposes of the show. A sometimes unforgiving bunch, the new folk on the block in this story could find themselves up against the odds, so to avoid the mess of tactical voting he'll have to prove himself well as a manager and show that East Fife, despite their lack of talent, can do well.

retired_brinker317

Elgin eh?

I'll take my jumper :thup:

retired_bbcarr

Contestant # 11: Gricehead (Dumbarton)

We tried to come up with some reason for why Gricehead was placed at Dumbarton, but simply could not. It was merely one of things whereby a club left over needed a manager left over and the two were picked out of the hat to match each other. With no apparant underlying feelings for the club, Gricehead will have to work hard if he's to settle in, a vital process if he is to catapult the team to glory above and beyond their wildest dreams.


Contestant # 12: HD (Ayr)

Placed there because he threatened to stab Raptor if he were made to go anywhere else, Iain will have a hugely tough task getting any semblance of success out of the depressingly poor Ayr squad. Fit for relegation, one would assume, avoiding division three football would constitute a minor miracle, as would keeping his job long enough to avoid third division football.


Contestant # 13: Jambo_4eva (Cowdenbeath)

Given charge of Cowdenbeath so that he can try to recreate Craig Levein's path from the 'Blue Brazil' to Hearts, Jambo will need serious testicular fortitude if he is to survive at such a low level of talent. With Albion, East Stirling and East Fife all being suitably shît, Cowdenbeath should be spared the humiliation of the bottom few rungs in the Scottish ladder, but mid-table anonimity seems to be screaming their name.

retired_bbcarr

Contestant # 14: John O'Shea (Berwick)

Unfortunately, this is not the John O'Shea of Manchester United and Ireland fame. This is merely our tree-impersonating, glory hunting Man Utd 'fan' who has been given an 80 odd mile trip to Berwick for his challenge on the show. Given the level of competition, it is needless to say that Berwick are pretty crap, but relative to their competition, they should find themselves somewhere around the middle of the league table. And there is no one more fitting for such anonimity that John.


Contestant # 15: Lionel Perez (Alloa)

With Lionel being unable to take control of his beloved Cambridge, due to the fact that we're playing in an entirely different country a good few hundred miles away from Cambridge there was a little consternation over where to place him. In the end, he was dumped at the none too attractive prospect of Alloa and with the distinct lack of talent within their squad, Lionel may find himself able to return to his hometown sooner than expected.


Contestant # 16: OMDave (Peterhead)

Another newcomer to FMS this year, Dave has shown himself a capable writer, but this show will test all of his abilities as a manager. Peterhead are one of the better squads in division three, but considering that there really isn't that much to chose amongst most of the teams, some quesitionable form could see them left behind in the race for the title. With Peterhead being one of the favourites to go up, however, such a run of form could well find Dave browsing through the recruitment pages.


Contestant # 17: Peacemaker7 (Forfar)

Threats were thrown around when club allocation was being decided, and the subject of those threats was where PM would be placed. His insistence that he knew people who could 'ban' members of the Raptor Group finally won him his battle, and he got his way as he was given the job at Forfar. Hopefully he can live up to all the expectations that FMSers will be placing upon him. To be perfectly honest, the Forfar squad, though not bad, isn't hugely impressive and a promotion push might not be off the cards, but he'll have to do well to impress.


Contestant # 18: Raptor (Queen's Park)

The head of the Raptor Group, Mark insisted that he was given a manager's role in the show as well, expecting that the public will respect his position of power and vote him to an easy win. However, it is far more likely that the voting public will take a real pleasure in getting rid of the moderator in the first round of voting. Although the stadium that Raptor will inhabit is impressive, his squad is slightly less so and the lower reaches of the table beckon for the confused Dutch/Irishman.


Contestant # 19: Spav (Montrose)

Not much is known about Spav, other than that he's a promising writer. Given charge of Montrose, he has some talent available to him, but not even that much for the level that he will be plying his new trade. A challenge for promotion to division two is perhaps unlikely, but so is a finishing position in the bottom places of the table.


Contestant # 20: Wag (Morton)

Alphabetically the last of the contestants, Wag is by no means the least, though the challenge given him at Morton is certainly a difficult one. This is another job that, should the boss gain any semblence of success, it will reflect hugely well upon him and could see him rise through the ranks of the game. Do as expected, though, and the job centre could be seeing quite a lot of him.


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author's note: it is my intention to give mini-updates on 30th September and 31st March every year. However, due to me being rather mentally challenged, i forgot to note down and print off details from September 2004 for the mini update, so the first update will be the big one at the end of December.

retired_bbcarr

December 31st 2004

As of yet, nobody has managed to penetrate the upper echelons of the game, though Wag was strongly linked with the vacant Partick Thistle post in late October. However, three managers have found themselves thrown to the scrapheap and, as yet, remain in the ranks of the unemployed as their clubs still search for replacements.

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benny (Brechin, 5th in Division 2)
It's been a season of ups and downs for benny so far. His side were expected to struggle in the division, so 5th place at the half way point can be seen as somewhat of a success, but the current run of five straight defeats has seen them fall from an even higher position and threatens to undermine their season should it continue. Good wins over Morton and Raith in the Challenge and League Cups respectively were followed by second round exits in both tournaments, to Ayr in the Challenge Cup and Falkirk in the League Cup. Should the bad run continue, benny may find his listing of 'safe' moves quickly to 'insecure'.
<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">| 5th | | Brechin | | 18 | 8 | 1 | 9 | 24 | 27 | -3 | 25 | </pre>


BobBev (Stranraer, 8th in Division 2)
A recent run of three consecutive defeats saw Stranraer fall from the relative comfort of 6th place to the dodgy depths of 8th. That run was ended, however, with a battling 2-1 win over Brechin to get themselves back on track, and they need to make that into a winning run early in the new year to pull themselves clear of any relegation battle. The season highlight so far was a 2-1 win over Partick in Glasgow in a League Cup 1st round match, but a defeat to Queen of the South in the second round of that tournament soured the success. It's likely to be a tough time for Stranraer in the second half of the campaign.
<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">| 8th | | Stranraer | | 18 | 6 | 3 | 9 | 23 | 25 | -2 | 21 | </pre>


Brian of Nazareth (Arbroath, 3rd in Division 2)
His love for the club has obviously been rubbing off on the players as, despite some poor perfromances in the cup competitions, form in the league has generally been on the right side of average, with striker Colin Boyle being the stand-out man having netted 8 goals in 13 games. The loss of impressive midfielder Stuart Sorbie for the first four months of 2005 with a fractured skull will hit their bid for a promotion place hard, but the season so far can definitely be qualified as a success.
<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">| 3rd | | Arbroath | | 18 | 9 | 3 | 6 | 23 | 23 | 0 | 30 | </pre>


Dark_Soccer (Albion, 3rd in Division 3)
With his team having been described in the build up as "perennially shît", it is quite a miracle that D_S has got them so far up the table. And they were higher, but a run of just one win in the past five games threatens to put a real dent in their challenge for a place in division two. The highglight of their season so far was earning a tie with Premier League outfit Kilmarnock in the League Cup second round, but his players were, unfortunately, not up to the task and came out on the wrong end of a 5-0 demolition.
<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">| 3rd | | Albion | | 17 | 8 | 2 | 7 | 23 | 17 | +6 | 26 | </pre>


displaced_seagull (Elgin, 4th in Division 3)
Elgin remain, as said in the build up, an outside bet for promotion. The two points they sit outside the 2nd position which would win them such a prize is nothing at this stage of the season, and with the second top league scorer in their ranks (Alex Bone - 10 goals in 18 games) they can feel confident that results will continue to be more positive than negative. Their cup performance has been poor, losing in the first round of every one so far, and their defence hasn't been the greatest with only one clean sheet having been earned to date. Should they be able to overcome their inconsistencies, then a place in division two may well await.
<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">| 4th | | Elgin | | 17 | 7 | 5 | 5 | 24 | 25 | -1 | 26 | </pre>

retired_bbcarr

Donners (East Stirling, 10th in Division 3)
The phrase "utterly pish" suits an East Stirling side who sit seven points adrift at the bottom of the third division. They have yet to keep a clean sheet and have failed to score in 6 games, but having won a place in the Challenge Cup second round, they have gone one better in the Scottish Cup and a third round tie against Montrose awaits in the new year. The team they embarrassed in the second round to win said tie vs Montrose was flipsix's Gretna after taking the border side to a replay and overcoming them on penalties. Whether Donners will last another day let alone the time it takes to get to the 3rd round game is seriously in doubt as his side look odds-on to finish worst of the 42 league clubs in Scotland.
<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">| 10th | | East Stirling | | 16 | 4 | 2 | 10 | 17 | 30 | -13 | 14 | </pre>


Faramir (Stirling, 9th in Division 2)
Faramir will have to rely on his forum popularity if he is to survive this round of voting. His expected mid-table side find themselves languishing in the relegation places, and with only one player having shown himself to be even decent so far. Martin Glancy will be important to their bid for survival, and if he can repeat the 10 goals in 19 games that he bagged in the first half of the season, then his side might find safety. But anything more will need even just one or two of his teammates to start playing like they have ever seen a football before in their lives.
<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">| 9th | | Stirling | | 18 | 4 | 9 | 5 | 24 | 27 | -3 | 21 | </pre>


flipsix3 (Gretna, 1st in Division 3)
With some defeisve frailties showing themselves during Gretna's rise to the top, it has been their strike pairing of ex-Newcastle hitman Colin McMenamin and David Bingham that have fired them into pole position. The two have scored 19 goals between the (10 for McMenamin, 9 for Bingham) in the 21 games that they have played together, and both need to stay fit if the target of a place in division two is to be achieved. Indeed, their form needs to recover quickly from their lack of wins in the past four matches.
<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">| 1st | | Gretna | | 16 | 9 | 2 | 5 | 27 | 21 | +6 | 29 | </pre>

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more to come later. have been summoned for a visit to the grandparents now

retired_hunar_s

Cowdenbeath... that's a challenge!

Good luck with this always enjoy reading your stories!

retired_bbcarr

cheers, euan it seemed the most suitable place to put you

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glamdring (Stenhousemuir, 9th in Division 3)
The compact nature of how the third division is panning out so far means that 9th placed side Stenhousemuir are a mere 8 points from the summit of the table. Only East Stirling have been cut adrift as of yet, and though unlikely, a series of good results in the second half of the season could see 'Muir vault up the standings. Journeyman striker Steve Kerrigan has been the side's best performer, but even he could not save them from exits in the first round of each cup competition. The necessary good run looks, however, a long way off as they have won only two of their last eight outings and more results like that could even see East Stirling claw them back in.
<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">| 9th | | Stenhousemuir | | 17 | 6 | 3 | 8 | 22 | 27 | -5 | 21 | </pre>


gonch19 (unemployed)
The first of our unemployed ranks, gonch lost his job at East Fife on 14th November with the club sitting in a precariously low position within division 3. And it cannot be said that it was the wrong decision either. Since gonch's departure, East Fife have lost only one game in the seven they've played and have both been scoring more and conceding less. Yet to be mentioned with regard to a return to the league game, gonch is currently enjoying life at home and has no immediate plans for the future.


Gricehead (Dumbarton, 4th in Division 2)
In a pairing that could have gone either way, Gricehead has managed to work some magic in getting his side up to fourth in the division two table. undoubtedly benefitting from the presence of former Dundee striker Eddie Annand up front, who has netted 11 times in 20 games, Dumbarton will be looking to spend the second half of the season eroding the five point gap that has opened up between them and the promotion positions. If others in the team can begin to match Annand's performances, then that dream is certainly not out of the realms of possibility.
<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">| 4th | | Dumbarton | | 18 | 7 | 4 | 7 | 28 | 24 | +4 | 25 | </pre>


HD (unemployed)
Another to fall victim to a vicious board, HD left his beloved Ayr on the very same day as gonch was relieved of his East Fife duties. The writing seemed on the wall for Iain from the very start as the club managed to gain just one point from its opening four games, and remained rooted to the bottom during his tenure. Since his departure, Ayr have lifted themselves to seventh with three wins and a draw in their last five games, and HD has been linked with the vacant post at Clyde. If he manages to survive this round of voting, it may well be an attractive proposition to him.


Jambo_4eva (Cowdenbeath, 5th in Division 3)
Cowdenbeath's struggle to mid-table in division three has been void of stand-out performers within their team, and riddled with inconsistencies. Their record of eight wins and eight defeats in the seventeen league matches they have played sums that up rather well, as does the fact that they have yet to record back to back wins of any form yet. There have been noticably good performances (4-1 home win against Gretna) as well as there have been the noticably bad (0-3 home defeat against Montrose) and should they want anything other than anonimity from the campaign, they need to start putting a run together.
<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">| 5th | | Cowdenbeath | | 17 | 8 | 1 | 8 | 26 | 24 | +2 | 25 | </pre>

retired_bbcarr

John O'Shea (Berwick, 2nd in Division 2)
Very much surpassing expectations is how Berwick's report card reads, and that's despite having no real stand-out performers. What John has managed to get, though, is get a bunch of average players performing consistently as a team and getting the results that they deserve. Their league emphasis is, perhaps, to blame for their early cup exits, but should they gain promotion to division one i doubt they'll care about those first round defeats.
<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">| 2nd | | Berwick | | 18 | 8 | 6 | 4 | 30 | 23 | +7 | 30 | </pre>


Lionel Perez (unemployed)
The last of the three to be made unemployed, Lionel lost his job in Alloa on the 4th December after a 2-1 home defeat against Brian of Nazareth's Arbroath. The club has since picked up a little, claiming two draw and two wins in the six games since Lionel's departure, results which have closed the gap slightly on those in the positions immediately above them. Lionel has yet to be mentioned in the same breath as a vacant post, and it could be a long hard road for him to find his way back into the management game.


OMDave (Peterhead, 8th in Division 3)
Expected to be promotion candidates, Peterhead's up and down performances have ruined their league position. Alan Reid has been the only one banging in performance after performance, and has nine goals in his twenty games to show for it. The club do have a Scottish Cup third round tie at Airdrie to look forward to in the new year, however, and that is perhaps why Dave's position is still regarded by those in the now as 'safe'.
<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">| 8th | | Peterhead | | 17 | 6 | 3 | 8 | 22 | 23 | -1 | 21 | </pre>


Raptor (Queen's Park, 7th in Division 3)
Sitting above Dave's Peterhead merely by the virtue of goal difference, QP will certainly be the more pleased of the two sides to date. Defensive midifelder David Clark, who has chipped in with six vital goals, and striker David Menelaws have been the club's best players so far, and their best result came with with 3-1 victory over St Johnstone in the Challenge Cup 1st round. A run of five without a win ended with a 2-1 victory over Albion in their last game, and their Dutch manager will be hoping that it also halts their slide down the table.
<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">| 7th | | Queen's Park | | 16 | 6 | 3 | 7 | 24 | 25 | -1 | 21 | </pre>


Peacemaker7 (Forfar, 6th in Division 2)
A cruel blow will leave Forfar without star performer Steve Tosh for the first month of the new year with a fractured jaw. The striker has bagged eleven goals in his twenty-two appearences, and has been vital in keeping Forfar away from the dangerous end of the division two table. How they fare without him in the next few games may well have a bearing on the rest of their season. They do, however, go into the new year on the back of some good form, having lost only one in the last 6 games, and they have a good shot at getting to the Scottish Cup 4th round, as their 3rd round tie sees a home tie against East Fife.
<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">| 6th | | Forfar | | 18 | 5 | 8 | 5 | 25 | 26 | -1 | 23 | </pre>


Spav (Montrose, 2nd in Division 3)
Well, something else we now know about Spav is that he isn't half bad at this management lark. Mid-table was the only expectation placed upon him, but consistent performances throughout the squad have lifted them above the average and into a good position to launch a promotion bid. Spav's isde have proven lethal at set-plays, with 10 goals having been netted by his defenders across all competitions, their strength and power in the air has been causing defences across the league real problems. Should they be able to carry their current form (no defeats in seven - a run which comprises six wins and one draw) into the new year, they may well be a second division side come June.
<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">| 2nd | | Montrose | | 16 | 8 | 4 | 4 | 25 | 20 | +5 | 28 | </pre>


Wag (Morton, 1st in Division 2)
In late October, Wag was listed by many bookies as the red hot favourite to land the Partick Thistle job. As it was, Billy Stark pipped him to that position, but Wag has knuckled down and got on with the job of putting Morton in pole position to grab a place in division one for next season. Peter Weatherston and Alex Williams have formed a good partnership upfront, netting 14 goals in the 20 games they have played together. Their great start to the season has been threatened recently, however, with 4 defeats in their last six games. Should they not correct this, all their hard work could be undone.
<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">| 1st | | Morton | | 18 | 10 | 3 | 5 | 27 | 22 | +5 | 33 | </pre>