Raptor

Wednesday 27 February 2013, League Cup, Final, 2nd Leg, Shamrock Rovers v Belfast Celtic, Glenmalure Park

Celtic’s elimination from the FAI Cup at least solved one problem: they wouldn’t have to rest players for this midweek second leg in the League Cup final. Their next game wouldn’t be for another seven days, so a full strength Celtic took the field in Dublin.

They started brightly too, ready for another 90 minutes (or more) of fighting out a private war with Patrick Bucic in the Rovers goal.

With a half an hour gone, Rovers dealt the first blow of the game. Not by opening the score, but by injuring Barry Burns, whose groin injury would sideline him for the best part of a month. Despite only being 19 years old, Burns was the midfield dynamo for this game, and his departure from the scene saw Celtic lose their grip on the match.

Even though the visitors were never threatened, thanks to a rock solid performance in defence, they didn’t create much themselves again. Young striker Kevin Gordon looked out of depth up front, alongside Celtic legend Glen Keddy, and failed to link up with him properly.

But without too many fit players on the bench, Bruce Arena couldn’t change a lot, and had to pray for a lucky break. It never materialised, and when John Car blew the final whistle, Rovers celebrated their third League Cup in four years. Celtic had gone one better than last year, but may have wasted their best shot at the trophy ever. If European hibernation would become a regular happening, the League Cup would take over from the County Antrim shield as Celtic’s competition to blood youngsters in, especially now that Belfast clubs no longer participated in the latter competition.

Rovers 0
Celtic 0
Attendance: 13,686
Shamrock Rovers win 1-0 on aggregate

Raptor

First there was Glentoran, with their problems on the managerial front. Then the battle for control at Celtic took centre stage in the media, and now Linfield joined them as the latest Belfast club to make headlines in unwanted fashion.

Chairman William McCoubrey was finally fed up with the never-ending criticism he endured throughout the past five or six years, during which time he’d worked hard to kick sectarianism and hatred from Windsor Park. Several movements within the club, especially hardcore Linfield fans, felt McCoubrey’s priorities were wrong (or used this as a cover to defend their appalling attitude towards other people) and wanted him out long ago. The club’s failure to win the League since the reunification of Ireland didn’t do anything to cement McCoubrey’s position. Three FAI Cups and two Super Cups couldn’t change that. A club with as rich a history as Linfield’s (43 League titles) demanded much, much more. The fact their historical arch-rivals were sweeping all before them domestically and even making an impression in Europe only added to unhappiness in Linfield’s ranks.

Despite all that, there was a realistic chance of the team in blue ending up the most successful Irish side this season. They not only topped the League, but also beat Cork City 2-1 at Turner’s Cross to join First Division sides Bray (1-0 winners at Kilkenny) and Limerick (after a 4-3 win in another sensational Cup tie involving Salthill Devon) in the semi finals of the FAI Cup. With St. Pat’s the only other top flight side left in the competition, Linfield could quite possibly end the season as Double winners.

McCoubrey wouldn’t be around to celebrate any such success though. Announcing his immediate resignation following the Cup win at Cork, he stated his disappointment at a lack of support for his long-term policies that would bring “a friendlier atmosphere to a successful football club”. The 60-year-old partly attributed his departure to a very recent bid by “an outsider” to take over as Linfield supremo, something McCoubrey “couldn’t be bothered to fight off anymore”. Intense speculation was to follow…

Raptor

Wednesday 6 March 2013, European Cup, 2nd Group Stage, Belfast Celtic v Hajduk Split, Casement Park

Having been knocked out in two cup competitions in the past four weeks, Celtic were desperate to extend their stay in the biggest one they were in. To stand any realistic chance of a place among Europe’s eight best clubs this season, they’d have to beat Hajduk in their last home game in their Champions’ League group.

Yet in front of a packed Casement Park, the home side couldn’t have got off to a worse start. Ivan Duricic set off on a brilliant run in only the fourth minute, skipping past two men, and avoiding Ljubo Milicevic’ desperate late challenge to coolly tuck the ball past Danny Milosevic. 1-0 Hajduk.

Still, if you have to concede a goal, it might as well be early, as it leaves you with some time to make amends. That was just what Celtic tried for the rest of the night. Lady Luck had deserted them by now though, and trying was all they could today. Not for the first time, the opposition goalkeeper clinched Man-of-the-Match honours, thoroughly deserving it too. Darko Horvat’s clean sheet saw the Croatian side move into second place, on 7 points. That was two more than Real Madrid (who were hammered by now qualified Club Brugge) and Celtic, and left them in a good position to make the last eight.

Celtic, meanwhile had a mountain to climb. Their only way of making the quarter finals was by winning in Madrid, and hoping for a Belgian win in Split at the same time. Very few people thought this realistic, and even the biggest believer in ultimate European glory for Celtic, Mark Frost, gave them “less than 10% chance” of pulling it off this time.

Celtic 0
Hajduk 1 (Duricic 4)
Attendance: 26,978

Raptor

Speaking of Frost, that very same night he flew out to Rio, where he had a rather important meeting the following day. Stevie O’Mao, meanwhile, had put his spies on Frost, wanting to know about his every move. It certainly suited him his rival buggered off to the other side of the world for the time being, as he could pay an undisturbed visit to Amsterdam in the meantime…

Raptor

Saturday 9 March 2013, Premier Division, Belfast Celtic v Glentoran, Casement Park

Even though the champions still had a mathematic chance of progressing in Europe, it was the League they had to concentrate on now. If they were to cap a quite impressive season with any silverware at all that was. With eight games left, it was just about fair to consider the run-in started now. Of those remaining fixtures, this one against bottom side Glens was the easiest one on paper. Clichéd as it may sound, football’s played on grass though, and it was still a Belfast derby.

That didn’t make it a match though. Glen Keddy and Gary Malone needed just 13 minutes to put Celtic 2-0 up, and a real hammering beckoned. If it wasn’t for Gary Vaughan in the Glentoran goal, it would’ve been.

Somehow, the visitors reached half time without further damage, and that gave them fresh hope for the second half. Eleven minutes after the restart, Ian Crowe got their lucky break, a dipping shot flying in off the crossbar and the Danny Milosevic’s back. It’s a goal all the same, and sets up a finale more tense than it should’ve been. Celtic hold on though, win 2-1, and hear across town Linfield did throw away an early 2-0 lead, and are held to a 2-2 draw by St. Pat’s. As Rovers can only pick up a point as well, Celtic move up to second, having dropped fewest points now.

Celtic 2 (Keddy 6, Malone 13)
Glens 1 (Crowe 56)
Attendance: 24,973

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">Irish Premier Division 1.Linfield 30 16 9 5 47 - 30 +17 57 2.Belfast Celtic 29 17 5 7 49 - 27 +22 56 3.Shamrock Rovers 30 16 8 6 38 - 20 +18 56 4.St. Pat's Athletic 29 16 5 8 40 - 31 +9 53 5.Cork City 30 15 7 8 43 - 20 +23 52 6.Shelbourne 30 14 4 12 45 - 45 0 46 7.Galway Utd 30 7 10 13 39 - 49 -10 31 8.Kilkenny City 30 6 8 16 30 - 44 -14 26 9.Athlone Town 30 5 8 17 31 - 57 -26 2310.Glentoran 30 3 4 23 22 - 61 -39 13Irish First Division 1.Bray Wanderers 27 14 9 4 46 - 26 +20 51 2.Portadown 28 14 7 7 44 - 29 +15 49 3.Bohemians 28 13 5 10 42 - 36 +6 44 4.Sligo Rovers 27 11 9 7 42 - 30 +12 42 5.Dundalk 27 10 11 6 31 - 26 +5 41 6.Coleraine 28 12 4 12 42 - 44 -2 40 7.Derry City 27 11 4 12 39 - 47 -8 37 8.Waterford Utd 27 6 13 8 31 - 31 0 31 9.Limerick 27 8 5 14 44 - 54 -10 2910.Cliftonville 27 5 10 12 30 - 43 -13 2511.Carrick Rangers 27 5 5 17 24 - 49 -25 20</pre>

Raptor

The evening of the 12th of March 2013 was one that would be remembered for years to come. While Belfast Celtic were in the Spanish capital Madrid, less than an hour from kicking off the game against Real that would decide their Champions’ League fate, a major change in their future off the field was announced, live on prime time television…

For as it was, prime time TV happened to be late in the afternoon in Brazil, from where the announcement was made, at the Sao Paulo Stock Exchange. The chief executive of one of Brazil’s largest companies, Brasillicon, appeared on stage, accompanied by Mark Frost. Mario Pescarolo Iochpe, like virtually every Brazilian a keen football fan himself, had run into Frost when he was setting up Rio Celtic, which led to direct and secret negotiations with the highest Brasillicon management regarding sponsorship and promotional activities. The company had been the leading light in Brazil’s electronic boom, which started about eight years ago, as the South American country became a serious player on the international technology market. And yet they still weren’t that well known outside their part of the world. They had nowhere near the international reputation Microsoft, Intel, Sony, LG, Hewlett Packard and all enjoyed, and saw high profile sports as the answer to this problem. Investing in a club outside Brazil and Latin American to be precise.

When Frost explained his vision of European-South American ties, and Irish-Brazilian in specific, in football to the Brasillicon big guns, they almost instantly subscribed to this. This would be mutually beneficial. The company would buy relatively cheap exposure in an interesting market, and Frost’s clubs would be rid of Raptor Group involvement. “Frost’s clubs” obviously included Belfast Celtic. He had long sought a financial partner wealthy enough to make the Raptor Group an offer they couldn’t refuse. But as recently as two days ago, Frost’s old company had rejected all offers for the club. At first, it didn’t make much sense to Mark, but then he realised Stevie was behind this. Something snapped in his head. O’Mao needed to be taught a lesson, and so did the arrogant board of directors of the Raptor Group…

Having long convinced Iochpe and co of the use of Belfast Celtic, he didn’t want the deal to fall through now, and told them all about the way O’Mao and the Raptor Group dealt with the situation. Before long, Brasillicon went along with his suggestion of giving them an ultimatum: sell Belfast Celtic, and Heart of Midlothian too now, or face an outright hostile takeover of the entire consortium. The Brazilians were powerful enough to complete such a move, and the Raptor Group knew it. With its directors too worried about their own position, they finally gave in and accepted an offer of £15m for Belfast Celtic and £130m for Hearts. A lot of money, certainly, but it could and would be recouped easily. The Scottish club would probably be sold soon anyway. Frost never wanted it in the first place, but just wanted O’Mao put in his place. As for Celtic, Frost, now back in control, had far reaching plans to prevent any company ever holding the club to ransom again. That would be his number one priority for the rest of the season.

All of this completely went by the Celtic team in Madrid, though before long, the news had filtered through to the Santiago Bernabeu, where Stevie O’Mao couldn’t believe what had just happened. When he flew in from Amsterdam yesterday, the Raptor Group had assured him they would not let Frost back in under any circumstances. Stevie felt betrayed, and would open a few tasty cans of worms…

Raptor

Tuesday 12 March 2013, European Cup, 2nd Group Stage, Real Madrid v Belfast Celtic, Santiago Bernabéu

And the night would become worse for O’Mao… Real tore Celtic apart with amazing ease. Martin and Aganzo scored in the first fifteen minutes, before the latter added a third with just half an hour gone. All hope was lost…

Or was it? Like Glens showed on Saturday, Celtic knew it didn’t take much to turn the tide in a game. A lucky break was all that was needed. Just before half time, that break was given to them by referee Lawlor, who saw a penalty in Garmendia backing into Glen Keddy. It probably was a poor decision, but in front of almost 75,000 a brave one nonetheless.

Milicevic blasted it into orbit though, and with it Celtic’s hopes of a second half fightback. Even Michael Keane’s stunning free kick six minutes after the break couldn’t change that. Real let Celtic enjoy more possession in the second half. All they were interested in now was the score from Croatia. There, Hajduk failed to beat Brugge, which meant the 3-1 win against Celtic was enough to qualify Real for the quarter finals for the first time in seven years. And the goalless draw in Split eased Celtic’s pains with the knowledge that even a 10-0 win tonight wouldn’t have done the Irish champions any good. Everybody happy? Ask Stevie O’Mao…

Real Madrid 3 (Martin 11, Aganzo 14, 31)
Celtic 1 (Keane 51, Milicevic m/pen 44)
Attendance: 74,864

Raptor

As soon as the final whistle goes in Madrid, Frost’s phone rings…

SO’M I can only congratulate you can’t I Frost? I’ll hold my hands up and say I didn’t expect this.

MF Aw, how nice Stevie. So you thought a phonecall by gracious, charming O’Mao could save his arse?

SO’M Look, I’m sorry about the other week. Tell Katie that will you?

MF If you have anything to say to Katie you can do it yourself. I don’t even want to talk about the past anymore. There’s a future to look forward to. A bright green and white one.

SO’M Your new employers spend a fair bit on a maroon future as well I hear. Don’t suppose you’re looking for someone to keep them in line?

MF Who says we’re not just selling them on again? Maybe we just wanted to teach you and the Raptor Group a lesson.

SO’M Letting personal feelings interfere with business now?

MF You know how much pleasure the words “Stevie, you’re fired” would give me?

SO’M Lots, no doubt. But Stevie doesn’t really care about his job. All the more about his club though.

MF So now you expect me to show some mercy on Hearts? I think I’ll show them the same mercy you showed Hibs when you pulled the plug on them.

SO’M Do what you must. Just know that at the end of the day, it was you who let Hibs become so dependent on the Raptor Group’s influence.

MF Well, I realised that long ago. And just be grateful I’m not really a vengeful bästard. I certainly won’t lower myself to your level by abandoning Hearts the way you left Hibs to die. Almost anyway. If nothing else, I won’t because there’s NO greater incentive to strike back merciless. Like Hibs could yet do this season.

SO’M Wanna bet that doesn’t happen? Say we put, I dunno, a football club each at stake?

MF Very funny. I guess when push comes to shove, I’d rather have you in a position where I sort of know what you’re doing than you working against me. Go on then, stay on at Hearts and make sure Brasillicon get a proper return on their investment. But I’m warning you: no stunts, or you’re out.

Stevie doesn’t like it one bit, but he knows he has to swallow his pride for the time being. Of course he’s already thinking of ways to turn the tables once again, but the reality is he’s just lucky to still have a say in Hearts. And in Boston Hibernian of course, the club given to him as a signing-on fee by the Raptor Group. Frost couldn’t take them way from him.

SO’M Hey, you know me.

MF That’s why… I’ll save those “you’re fired” words for that bìtch Kournikova for now, but I’m dead serious about any scheming behind my back. Or in front of my eyes for that matter.

retired_mellnet

Stevie came up with three or four good schemes to pull on wee little ickle Frost while he was trying to get over the hangovers he experienced every night on his vacation in Ibiza. But as his drunken holidays turned to drunken holiweeks and those weeks to broke, unemployed holimonths he seemed to forget them all, spending his time around the resort pool quickly guzzling drinks left half finished by other guests.

But Stevie had ambition. He was too big for a little Ireland soap. He was twice voted the sexiest villian in Soap Digest Poll and received a Mao for the Character of the Year. Three or four times Stevie received calls from his agent, who also happened to be J-Lo's agent: "Hey Stevie I got the scoup that they are casting for Gigli II, how about it?" "flip3six has a new Lisbon Lion story in the works and he is looking for someone to play a Scotsman, think you could pull it off?" or "I just got off the phone with Peacemaker and he said he already cast that big Englishman. What's his name Hilda Doolittle as the lead in his next Dave Green story..." (Well he didn't actually say that, but his real words about working with a hack like Stevie are unprintable...)

Despite these leads Stevie still couldn't land a job: he was like the third force in Scotland, not very good and hopelessly in debt. But it was even worse than he believed, in reality he seemed to have been type-casted in the World of CM Stories as Mark Frost's whipping boy.

With his money running out, his fame a thing of the past and his good looks going the way of the Tamagotchi, he had only one option at hand...

He let his agent book on the Conan O'Brien Show.

Coming Soon: Stevie O'Mao's appearance on the Conan O'Brien show, where he breaks down in tears on camera, begging Frost to bring the story back and resurrect his career...

Raptor

Saturday 16 March 2013, Premier Division, Belfast Celtic v Athlone Town, Casement Park

For the rest of the week, Belfast Celtic were the talk of the town. Frost back in power, and the club involved in an exciting title run-in. Understandably, rumours were rife right now, especially regarding the position of manager Bruce Arena. Frost had never been a fan of him, and most people believed the club's owner would want to return to the managerial hotseat as soon as possible.

But as much as Frost wanted that to happen, first, he had a massive task ahead of him off the field. Cleaning up the mess the O'Mao, or more to the point: the "Johnson administration" had left the club in would certainly take the rest of the season, and the best part of the summer as well. On top of that, Arena had done well enough in Europe to win over a fair few Celtic supporters. Sacking him now would cause more trouble than the American was worth.

Frost was convinced Arena would be found out over the course of an entire season, and decided it'd be much better to leave him in charge for now, rather than take over, and effectively putting George Best in control of first team affairs, with all the pressure that came with it. The fact Best was AWOL quite often these days, leading to the inevitable speculation about alcohol mis-use, also influenced this decision.

So at the start of the St. Patrick's Day weekend, Arena picked the team for the home game against Athlone. Having dropped points in both back-to-back away games against them in December, Celtic had something to prove. With Linfield winning 4-0 against seemingly doomed Glentoran, nothing short of three points would do today.

And three points is what Celtic got. Gary Malone, still barely on speaking terms with some fellow first-teamers, most notably Michael Keane, earned himself Man of the Match honours with a couple of excellent first half goals, which showed the home side the way to an important 2-0 victory. It left the reigning champions a single point behind leaders Linfield, with a game in hand. By Wednesday night, they could be back on top...

Celtic 2 (Malone 23, 32)
Athlone 0
Attendance: 17,721