Raptor

Before the Champions’ League game against Brugge, Frost, back in Belfast, dropped by Celtic’s offices. He wanted to talk to O’Mao, who he knew was in town. He always was for European games.

SO’M So you’re back then.

MF I am indeed. You don’t get rid of me that quickly.

SO’M Thought you’d realised this Celtic won’t be yours again. Just stick to Rio Celtic Frost, Brazil’s probably a better place than Ireland anyway.

MF Then why don’t you go there yourself?

SO’M I might when I’m done here.

MF Let me make you an offer you can’t refuse then: I’ll swap Rio Celtic for Belfast Celtic.

SO’M Now now Mark, what will your Brazilian friends say when they hear you’re willing to sacrifice them in the blink of an eye, just to get Belfast Celtic back?

MF What makes you believe they’d take your word over mine?

SO’M Oh I dunno, you seem to have lost a lot of respect here. The fans are turning on you, the ILCA is in Bartley’s hands, the Raptor Group thinks you’re a troublemaker. Really, if I were you I’d cut my losses and enjoy Rio in all its glory. You might even scoop one of them bikini girls.

MF I’m happily married Stevie.

SO’M How could I forget? How’s Katie these days? I would ask her personally, but I don’t think her dear brother likes me very much.

MF Katie’s fine, thanks for asking. But I’m serious: if Rio’s that great, go and take it. You don’t need Belfast Celtic, you’ve got Hearts, and should win the BPL with them. Europe might be next. There’s nothing Celtic adds for you.

SO’M Tempting as it is, I’ll admit you put a nice structure in place, I think I like Belfast too much to leave it permanently. Besides, there’s exciting times ahead for the club, and I want to be part of it. And after your unjust attack on Johnson, I don’t think you’re the man to lead the club anymore.

MF Unjust my arse. You and I both know the truth. If it wasn’t for Whörenikova there’d have been a Regime Change™ already.

SO’M Ah yes, Anna. She sends her love too. Talking about her, I’ve got to go soon, lunch with her in an hour, and have a few phonecalls to make, so if you’ll excuse me…

MF Oh joy. Better warn her I’m like a boomerang, always come back to you, even if it takes a while. As for you, think about what the club’s worth to you, then name your price… No, spare me the bullshìt about how you want to be part of it, just think of it and name the price.

SO’M I assume you know the way out?

MF I’ll find it, don’t worry. Laters Stevie…

Frost leaves O’Mao’s office. As he closes the door behind him, at the other end of the corridor, another door is closed, a bit harder. When Frost turns around to see what’s going on, he almost crashes in to a young woman, who doesn’t look too pleased…

MF Oh, I’m sorry miss…

MO’H O’Hara, Margaret O’Hara, Mr. Frost.

MF Ah, so I don’t have to introduce myself then do I? You seem distraught Miss O’Hara.
As both walk down the corridor, the little chat continues...

MO’H Oh, it’s just that Johnson rat getting on my nerves.

Frost is surprised at this admission by a Celtic employee, at the club’s HQ…

MF Everybody’s favourite chairman isn’t he?

MO’H Certainly not mine. I don’t know why I still work for that man.

MF You work with him?

MO’H Yeah, I’m his secretary, but he really wants to keep his hands to himself or he’ll be sorry.

MF Still the same old dirty bästard is he?

MO’H Yes. Always up to something, always trying to eliminate threats to his position. Must’ve learnt that from my father.

MF Your father?

MO’H Well, biological father anyway, Stevie’s never really cared for me.

MF Stevie O’Mao is your father?

MO’H Yes, didn’t you know? You speak to him on a regular basis don’t you?

MF He never mentioned it. A real businessman your father is.

MO’H A real prìck at times too, but not as bad as Johnson. He’s really gone too far this time.

MF What did he do?

MO’H Like I said, he keeps getting touchy. Perverted bästard.

MF Why don’t you go to the police?

MO’H Who’d believe an 18-year-old girl over the chairman of the biggest football club in Ireland?

MF A chairman with a dubious reputation.

MO’H And a very clever press officer. I saw how Kournikova destroyed your reputation, despite the fact you were right 100%.

MF You know about this?

MO’H I know just about everything. Johnson doesn’t know how much access I have to his files. The dumb fücker has the worst passwords ever. And he should be more careful with his keys as well.

MF Well Margaret, I think you and I should talk, but not here… Would you care to drop by my house tonight? It’s about the one place in Belfast I know to be bug-free…

MO’H Will you help me get rid of Johnson?

MF It’ll be my pleasure… I’ll send for a taxi at 8 o’clock is that alright?

MO’H Eight is fine…

retired_sander

Sleeping with the secretary to get your info how very Bond :thup:

Raptor

Wednesday 13 February 2013, European Cup, 2nd Group Stage, Belfast Celtic v Club Brugge, Casement Park

The following night, Frost & Co. went to the European Cup game with Brugge in a happier mood. Stevie’s daughter had told them a lot of what went on at Celtic, fed up as she was with the way Marcus Johnson treated her. Frost wondered if O’Mao even knew what kind of arsehole Johnson was, or had turned into for all he cared. Keeping him on Celtic’s payroll would prove an expensive mistake, they’d make sure of that.

But tonight was all about under-fire Celtic needing to get their act together. Anything less than victory would probably signal the end of their European campaign. Arena had his first choice team at his disposal again, and they were fit enough too. His only worry was Glen Keddy, who wasn’t considered ready for 90 minutes of top level football. It kept Gary Malone in the starting XI.

Thirteen minutes into the clash, Keddy had to come on after all. Malone picked up a knock, and was forced off, just as Celtic appeared to have survived the opening 15 minutes undamaged. At least they hadn’t conceded a goal, and when by half time the Belgians still hadn’t scored, Celtic slowly took control of the game.

A fierce shot from the edge of the box saw Michael Keane score a rare but valuable goal midway through the second half, which at the time was just reward for the Irish team’s efforts. It looked like they’d completely forgotten about the year so far, and had suddenly remembered how to turn the screws. Still, being just one goal up left them vulnerable to a Belgian counter-attack, so Arena’s side pressed on for a decisive second goal.

Three minutes from time, Glen Keddy got it, much to the relief of the Green & White legion. And it was just as well that shot on the bounce found the net, because in stoppage time, Joe Doyle made his first mistake of the night against Murilo da Costa Junior. The Brazilian star instantly made Celtic pay, but there wasn’t even enough time to kick off again. Priceless didn’t begin to describe this win.

Celtic 2 (Keane 66, Keddy 87)
Club Brugge 1 (Da Costa Junior 90)
Attendance: 26,982

Raptor

After the game, Frost approaches O’Mao, and invites him for dinner on Saturday night…

SO’M You are inviting me to dinner on Sunday? At your place? Did the Rio sun do some permanent damage to your brain?

MF Heh, no it didn’t Stevie. But I have something important to discuss with you. And with Johnson, and Anna, so please bring them along as well.

SO’M Ok, you’re up to something. Care to save me the bother of letting my men find out?

MF Stevie Stevie… as suspicious as ever. I’d just like to make a business proposal.

SO’M Make it now?

MF All in due course Stevie… We usually eat at half six, how does that sound?

SO’M If you’re planning on poisoning me… I’d rather have a bullet put through my head if it’s all the same to you.

MF Better not let Katie hear that…

SO’M Putting a bullet through my head?

MF No, that’s Patrick… Relax, only kidding. I was talking about her cooking.

SO’M I don’t like surprises Frost… What is it that’s such a big secret it’ll have to wait till Sunday?

MF You’ll find out. Have fun in Manchester on Saturday. I’m sure Hearts will rip City apart.

SO’M I might just stay in town and catch the Shels game instead. See you on Sunday otherwise...

MF Tot zondag Stevie...

Raptor

Saturday 16 February 2013, Premier Division, Belfast Celtic v Shelbourne, Casement Park

Two early goals by Glen Keddy were enough to improve on his previous personal best of 27 goals in a season. Against his former club, who couldn’t refuse that £1m offer seven-and-a-half years ago, he headed two past former Celtic keeper Graham Bird, to set the Belfast side on their way to a comfortable 3-0 victory. In the second half, Michael Keane completed the scoring when he let fly from 30 yards, another one of his special long range drives.

Suddenly, Celtic were back to winning ways, and with Linfield and Rovers both winning, it was just in time as well. Had the CL game been a turning point? Frost was joking it was his presence that made the difference, and had a good laugh when some people took it seriously. And to think his best laugh was still another 24 hours away…

Celtic 3 (Keddy 9, 20, Keane 58)
Shelbourne 0
Attendance: 20,471

Raptor

… What a laugh it was though. In his own home, and in the presence of Stevie O’Mao and his bìtches Marcus Johnson and Anna Kournikova, Frost rambled on about the possibility to regain control of Celtic, but he really only wanted to kill time till the start of RTE’s Sunday Football programme, which featured a very special interview…

The reaction of Frost’s three guests could hardly have been more satisfying when the exclusive with Johnson’s personal secretary, Stevie’s daughter Margaret, was over. Johnson was cursing, wishing her straight to hell, while Stevie couldn’t believe what hit him. Not the fact his daughter had done this to him. First of all it seemed she’d done it to Johnson anyway, and she was as he said “50% O’Mao”, but the realisation his appointed Celtic chairman had been stupid enough to let someone get their hands on the information Margaret had managed to obtain, and to annoy that person enough to go to the press. Kournikova, finally, was visibly thinking of ways to spin the interview into something defendable.

The reality, however, was that all of Ireland now knew how the Celtic management dealt with people in their way. How right Frost had been with his revelations, and how Johnson still continued to drain money from the club. How much of a womaniser he was, how little he knew, or cared, about football, and much, much more.

It was very clear Marcus Johnson’s position was no longer defendable. While it wouldn’t end Stevie’s control of the club, it might just make him more interested in cooperating with Frost, or so he thought…

MF So Stevie… Have you thought about my proposals yet?

SO’M Have you any idea how much damage you did to the club with this?

MF I’m sure you’ll find the real damage has been done by this joker here…

As Frost points to Johnson, the latter wants to protest, and opens his mouth, but Stevie interrupts him…

SO’M Shut up you fool. You’re fired. As for you Frost, you’re taping this aren’t you?

MF Actually, I’m not. It’s not like it’d make any difference to your hopeless situation. But don’t take my word for it. Don’t say anything you’ll regret. Whoops, I guess that means you better say nothing at all then eh?

AK How did your daughter get her hands on this information?

SO’M Simple, she’s an O’Mao, part anyway. We always get what we want.

MF I’m afraid that clashes with the Frosts then, cos the same applies to us. We’ll see who has the last laugh.

SO’M We will indeed. I think it’s time we went home Anna.

MJ What about me?

SO’M What about you? I said you were fired. Fraud is a serious crime, and misleading your boss is even worse.

MJ You were in on this O’Mao, if I go down, you go down with me.

SO’M I didn’t know anything, did I now Anna? My crime is trusting an unreliable assistant. Somehow, I doubt that carries a 7-year jail term…

MF Would you like to wait for the Gardai here or do you want to go home first Johnson?

MJ You will be sorry Frost, I’m not done with you and your family yet.

MF I’m so scared Johnson. Perhaps you could repeat that in front of my brother-in-law.

MJ Need someone else to do your dirty work now Frost?

MF A sidekick like you wouldn’t understand I guess. Now get out.

Raptor

Tuesday 19 February 2013, European Cup, 2nd Group Stage, Club Brugge v Belfast Celtic, Jan Breydelstadion

Celtic were in turmoil throughout the following week, and it was anyone’s guess how that would affect the team in Brugge on Tuesday. They flew to Belgium to get at least a point, as defeat would most likely mean requiring a result in Madrid in the final game.

During the first half, a fairly even contest developed on a rather poor pitch, with some genuine end-to-end stuff more often associated with traditional FA Cup games. This really was the European Champions League though, and at least the scoreline reflected that fact: 0-0 at half time.

Then the second half started, and Celtic were reduced to a shadow of the side that had threatened to score on several occasions in the first forty-five. Two minutes after the restart José Mari gave Brugge the lead, and the Belgians never looked back.

They were helped no end by David Healy allowing himself to be provocated by Brugge captain Hans Cornelis. The Irishman landed an admittedly excellent hook on the Belgian, and received his marching orders. Healy didn’t see eye to eye with Arena anymore, after semi-publicly admitting he’d lost confidence in his manager during Celtic’s poor run at the start of the year, and walked straight past him on his way to the dressing room. It would surely be the last time Europe saw David Healy, and quite possibly his last outing for Celtic altogether.

Reduced to ten men, the Belfast side lost any chance of snatching a draw two minutes later, when Tim Smolders grabbed the first of his two goals on the night. The second came another 11 minutes later and made the gap between the two sides look bigger than it was in reality. Still, coupled to Real Madrid’s win over Hajduk, it dropped Celtic out of the top two positions in the group. Was the European dream about to end?

Club Brugge 3 (José Mari 47, Smolders 60, 71)
Celtic 0 (Healy s/o 58)
Attendance: 28,805

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Belfast Telegraph, Thursday 21 February 2013

Arena takes hardline on rebels

Already this week, Belfast Celtic lost their chairman, and possibly their chance of a quarter final place in the Champions’ League. As of yesterday, the names of two players rebelling against manager Bruce Arena’s disciplinary point of view may be added to the list.

Earlier this month, youngster Neil Holt arrived late for training, and was reprimanded by Arena. Holt’s refusal to accept this talking to now sees him leave the club for Scottish side Kilmarnock.

More high profile is the inevitable departure of David Healy. In the wake of the left hook he planted on Brugge captain Hans Cornelis, which came at a time Celtic were fighting to avoid defeat in Belgium, Healy, who is still to face UEFA’s disciplinary committee in Zurich, was fined a week’s wages by his manager. Like Holt before him, Healy failed to accept this action from his manager, who has since transfer-listed the striker with a history of clashes with his manager, and demoted the 33-year-old to the Reserves.

Healy’s replacement in the First Team squad is Kevin Gordon (17), who already made his debut against Kilkenny a fortnight ago. The Englishman is tipped for a career in the British Premier League, but opted for Celtic’s youth academy at the end of last season.

Raptor

Friday 22 February 2013, Premier Division, Galway United v Belfast Celtic, Terryland Park

Having seen Kilkenny profit from Celtic’s European fixtures, Galway were never going to agree to the Belfast club’s request to move this Friday game to Saturday. This refusal to cooperate meant Celtic couldn’t play their strongest team, with many players needing an extra day’s rest to recover from midweek efforts in Brugge.

Nevertheless, the visitors were just too good for John Aldridge’s men, outplaying them most of the time. Still, it’s goals that matter, and if it wasn’t for a 68th minute penalty, converted by Ljubo Milicevic, valuable points would’ve slipped from the champions’ hands.

In the end though, they didn’t slip up this time, and even went top of the table again, even if it probably only was for 24 hours…

Galway 0
Celtic 1 (Milicevic pen 68)
Attendance: 4,346

Raptor

Much to the Frosts’ surprise, Celtic remained top all weekend, as their rivals dropped points. An even bigger surprise, however, came on Monday night. Late that evening, Stevie O’Mao knocked on the door…

MF Stevie? What brings you here at this hour?

SO’M Business Frost, what else?

MF Well, come in then…

Mark notices Stevie smells of alcohol, and certainly looks like he’s had a pint too many…

SO’M Oh hi Katie. I’m sorry to disturb you this late, but Mark and I need to deal with an urgent problem.

KF What’s going on then?

MF If you’re going to tell us the Raptor Group gave you a right bollocking for the Johnson situation, then you’re too late, I already know.

SO’M I shou, should, shouldn’t be too surprised about that I guess…

MF Stevie, you’re pìshed, I doubt you’re in a position to do business now.

SO’M (giggling) Do you remember you asked me to name my price for the club?

Mark raises an eyebrow as a and Katie exchange quick looks…

MF I do… So you’ve thought about it?

SO’M I wonder how much you value the club at, if you’d really do anything fffor it.

MF The price, Stevie…

SO’M A night with your wife Frost…

Stevie IS pìshed alright, but Katie still won’t have this nonsense, and slaps him in the face… hard.

KF Fück you Stevie, you had your chance years ago.

MF Have you been watch classic B-movies again O’Mao? Just be glad I’m not the jealous type, or I might have set Patrick on you to finish the job he started a decade ago.

Whether it was the slap in his face or the sudden memory of his near-death experience at Cave Hill, Stevie suddenly starts to come back to the land of the living…

SO’M Right, I see you two have your priorities right then… But we should still talk about a way to calm the Raptor Group… They’re thinking of pulling the plug on their sports projects.

MF Is it Hearts or Celtic you’re worried about?

SO’M Both. Both will be worse off if they’re sold, or have to repay debts.

MF Correction, Hearts will be in deep trouble if they have to repay their debts. Celtic will be fine, could simply repay the original investment plus interest.

SO’M You don’t know who’ll end up in charge of the club though, and if a new owner puts money first, then Celtic will be in trouble too.

KF Oh you mean unlike now?

SO’M Katie, if there’s one thing you need to trust me in it’s that I have the best interests of the club at heart.

KF I find it very hard to believe that from a man who appointed a couple of no-good Americans in the two most important positions.

SO’M You can’t deny Arena’s doing a good job Katie…

KF Mark or George would’ve secured the championship by now. And Johnson, well the less said about him the better.

SO’M Hey I made a mistake, I’m sorry. I sacked him now though.

KF Stevie O’Mao and sorry? I guess there’s a first for everything.

MF Alright Stevie, here’s my proposal: you and I go to Amsterdam tomorrow, and tell the Raptor Group we’ve decided to join forces and will sort things out. You step down as Sports Commissioner in my favour and become my deputy, in sole control of the Jambos. I’ll take care of Celtic, without any O’Mao interference.

SO’M There’s no way I’m standing down. They’ll severe all ties with me.

MF They could’ve done that long ago.

SO’M Except for one little detail: There’s a clause in my contract saying I’m entitled to a £10m golden handshake.

KF Oh Jesus Stevie, you really did plan for the worst didn’t you?!

SO’M Better safe than sorry. But now you’ll understand why I won’t resign.

MF I could give you shares in Hearts worth £10m you know…

SO’M Why would I trust you though? You have enough reason to double-cross me.

MF More than enough. Guess you’ll just have to trust me on this one.

SO’M I can’t do that. Hell, if you can’t even trust your kids not to stab you in the back, why should I trust non-family?

KF Because basically, you have no choice. I’m sure the Raptor Group are willing to pay you off if someone presents them with a working plan to sell their biggest sports asset: HMFC, for a lot more than they paid for it.

Suddenly, it dawns on Stevie the Frosts are planning to do just that. This day really IS going from bad to worse, and he can’t believe he drunk too much and went on to weaken his position in front of the Frosts like that. Was he getting older? Was he going down the road George Best had gone before?