Metropolitan Police FC 2004-2005 Squad
Ted strutted around the dressing room, waiting for the players to arrive. It was the first day of training, and he wanted to lay down the law to the squad, and impose his authority. He knew this would be a tough a job, and he wasn’t sure if the Chairman had been joking about being killed or not, but he wasn’t taking any chances.
Slowly the players trickled in, and changed into their kits.
Ok lads listen upTed felt a tad nervous as he cleared his throat.
First of, I should introduce myself. I am Ted Locke, and you’ll find that if you play fair with me, I will play fair with you. But if you cross me, you’ll find I am not a good man to cross!
He paused for effect, but the players didn’t seem to take much notice. He continued.
Now, you’ll be expected to bring in your dues everyweek. Anyone who fails wont get a game.
Beckham put his hand up.
But erm, I don’t know any Jews boss? You dues David, D U E S. Five quid a week I believe.
There was a murmur around the dressing room, and eventually one of the players spoke up.
Erm boss, we’re semi pro. We don’t pay dues, the club pays us.
Ted was taken aback.
Well, erm, I’m not sure about that to be honest. I’ll have to check it out. Meanwhile, lets get out onto the pitch
The training session went not too badly for a first time, and afterwards Ted sat down to assess the squad he had to play with.
Goalkeepers Lionel Perez Quietly insane young man, who seems to believe he is a French goalkeeper, and insists on being called Lionel. Will be the number one choice between the sticks, but when you see the competition, thats hardly something to boast about.
Keith Stuart Possibly the ugliest player in English football, he's also extremely useless. If he ever has to play, the team are screwed.
Defence Brian of Nazareth Fresh from being crucified, Brian has taken up football. Could be useful at this level but wouldnt seem to have a long term future in the game.
Tyrone the Mag Decent young player, might have potential, but as a Mag thats going to be a serious drawback to his chances of making the grade at a decent level.
Binny Even though he has Isreali nationality, is unlikely to be capped. Should be decent enough for this season though.
Bjorn Biggest problem with Bjorn will be that, being a Brugge supporter, if someone offers him a bung he's likely to take it.
Bob Beveridge At 47, Bob has arrived late onto the pro footballing scene. His playing career is unlikely to last more than a season, and some of the players are bit upset that he has a free bus pass. Is also part of the coaching staff.
Gonch19 No-one has a clue who this guy is, he just turned up at the club and said he was playing.
WLKRAS The Dutcman claims to be a utility player. He isn't.
Midfield Simon Furnival Hes a big lad, and he plays rugby a lot, so the opposition will find him hard to push off the ball. Thats assuming he can actually get the ball in the first place. And remembers not to pick it up.
David Beckham Believes that by playing for the Met side, Sir John will find his missing kids. That probably tells you all you need to know.
Bruno I think Sir John thought this was Frank, but it certainly isnt. Very little skill, you have to wonder why he's here.
displaced_seagul When a guy thinks hes a bird, you have to be worried about his sanity. If he ever makes a nest on the roof of the stand, he's out of here.
Euan Greenoak When you're from Dunfermline, there isnt really a lot to be happy about.
Flipsix3 One of the coaching staff, hes also a bit on the old side, but not quite qualifying for a bus pass. Yet.
Gino Wears a Burnley top under his Met GC top, and thinks that one day he will sign for his favourite club. It seems very unlikely. His addiction to daytime tv is very worrying.
Colin Gricehead Really, we just have to hope his coaching skills are better than his playing skills, but then that cant be hard!
Jambo4eva Cried like a baby everytime someone took the ball from him. But then, he is a baby so thats hardly surprising. If the rumours about Sir John are true, young Jambo had best not be found by him alone in the showers.
Forwards Peacemaker7 Arrogant, argumentative and sometimes completely condescending. And those are his good points. A loyal servant of Sir John Stevens, the joint assistant manager in charge of the reserve side claims to have played 995 matches for the Met Police.
Raptor His obsession with all things Irish saw the joint assistant manager in charge of the youth team change his name by deed poll to Mark Frost. Has obtained an Irish and British passport, and tries to talk with an Irish accent, but it still sounds Dutch. Hates the Chairman with a passion.
Brian Winchester Cant for the life of him think he he has gotten himself into this team, and moans about the fact his finishing is only 5. That has to be a bug?
Spav Came all the way from Australia to play for the Met. He'll soon be wishing he hadn't.
Physio Spurzgrrl The guys were delighted find out they had a female physio.
Scout Iain Bartholomew The clubs lawyer, and Sir Johns right hand man, you dont want to cross this guy if you want to stay at the club. Or alive.
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