retired_manpk1

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Peacemaker7:
Defence

binny Managed to get a fair amount of game time and played well enough without ever really excelling. Is currently unhappy because he dislikes the assistant manager, Peacemaker7. Seems a bit too realistic really. (45 (2) appearances, 0 goals, 0 assists, 0 Man of the Match, 5 yellow, 0 red, 7.17) Value £2000, Wage £50
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Who writes this stuff

retired_hern1001

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Peacemaker7:
WLKRAS His ability to play anywhere in the defence meant the Dutchman was given a lot of play time and he did do quite well. (41 (6) appearances, 0 goals, 2 assists, 1 Man of the Match, 6 yellow, 0 red, 7.38) Value £5000, Wage £25
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

:cool:

retired_jgirl87

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Peacemaker7:
Spav Out so many times with injury, Cait though he fancied her, and so first team opportunities were virtually non existant. (0 (6) appearances, 4 goals, 0 assists, 1 Man of the Match, 0 yellow, 0 red, 7.67) Value £2000, Wage £100
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Obviously the age reduction serum and bionic implants did nothing for me, but 4 goals in 6 sub appearances is still decent. As seems to be the flavour around here, I can still be thankful that my head is still attached to my neck. :p

shannon2007

Well they did do something for you Spav, They made you injury prone

shannon2007

The Beckhams

It was in many ways a tiresome role for Katie Frost to play, being the 'wife' of the stupidest man in England. Well, excepting Tony Blair and Mark Thatcher of course. Getting a nighthood for being a totally stupid f-uck up was just taking the biscuit and there was hope for David yet. Indeed, it it hadnt been for the liaisons with John, Katie wasnt sure she could have coped with the bumbling baffoon, who hadnt even noticed that she's stopped wearing the wig. Still, it had to be better than being in that crap by Raptor and at least here she could do her own thing instead of being involved with the IRA, afraid of getting blowing up.

The secret truth was, Katie hated the IRA. She had been born to a nice Protestant family in Belfast, and had only married 'Frost' because it was her intentions to bring down the so-called united Ireland and blow Frost to pieces. It had been a relief when Stevens had rescued her from that reality, and the wonderful trick they had pulled on her husband by cooking Hannah was still something she laughed. It made her nearly cum to think of the agony he had been in over thought of his little catholic princess being cooked in an oven. Stupid bastard. Still, the baby hadnt half tasted good, so at least catholics were good for something. She wondered how Jews would taste and started making secret plans to have a child with binny. She could always put a bag over his head.

But back to the present, and away from the tripe about Ireland, she slipped into stupid bitch mode and made her way into the lounge to continue this charade with David, playing with what mind he had left. The idiot was sitting on the sofa, caressing his FA Trophy medal as if it had been the biggest thing he had ever won in his career. He looked up when he heard her enter, a huge smile on stupid face,

Victoria, I'm so glad to see you again! I've really missed you.

I was only in the kitchen for five minutes David Katie groaned I was making a cup of coffee remember? Now will you put that medal down and stop playing with yourself.

Its the greatest thing that's ever happened to me Vicky. I mean, an FA Trophy medal! Its amazing! I'm so glad Mr Stevens brought me to this club where I could finally achieve something with my career. He says one day we'll win the Champions League! Wont that be amazing!! I've always wanted one of them!

Katie sighed and tried to ignore his stupidity. David. Guess who I saw today?

Mr Stevens? David had an excited look on his face, he loved guessing games. Like the time mummy had left him at Sainsburies and told him to guess which was the right bus to take home. Even though he had only been eight years old, he had managed to get home in three weeks, which made him feel very proud. Mummy had been so pleased, she sent him out to do it all over again only this time he had been blindfolded.

No David not Mr Stevens. Its tomorrow night I'm shagging him.

Ah. Erm, that nice Peacemaker7?

Dont be silly David, I dont go with bald men, I do have a reputation.

Yes as a **** David murmered under his breath showing a rare sign of a brain flickering through but it didnt last more than a millisecond.

Come on David last guess

David thought long and hard, it had to be someone really important, someone really really big. I know, I know! Winston Churchhill!! He beamed wildly, Do I get a prize? Do I?

You'll get a prize alright, although you're brains so small a bullet through your head would probably miss. Katie felt like putting the bullet through now, but she restrained herself No David, he's dead. And besides he was a fat bastard. No David, I saw Romeo!

Romeo? I dont think I know any Romeo

Yes you do. Think hard, remember why we came to see Stevens in the first place?

Yes! David exclaimed Because he wanted me to sign for the Met! What a really nice man!

No David, Romeo is your son.... erm, our son, remember? Our son Romeo who was kidnapped?

David sat in thought for a minute, his facxe contorted with the effort and then his lit up with joy, Are you telling me that... that...

Yes David, you've got it!

Oh I'm so happy. You're pregnant!!

retired_manpk1

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Peacemaker7:
She wondered how Jews would taste and started making secret plans to have a child with binny. She could always put a bag over his head. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Not sure how to react to that :eek:

retired_confal2

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by John O'Shea:
i moved in Groniengen :p

i even kicked the ball occasionally allthough peoples shins were my usual target <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


I believe the word is 'lurch'. And my shins may eventually forgive, but they won't forget

And what do I get for voting for Sir John? He bumps off my only character...

shannon2007

Raptor

It was a disgrace really. An absolute f-ucking disgrace. Not only did the writer keep refering to him as 'Raptor' when quite clearly he was Mark Frost, but also Groningen were pure and utter sh-ite. Of course, that was nothing unusual and he was not Irish, he didnt really give a damn and he could stop pretending. Only big successful clubs for him to support now.

And yet none of that was the disgrace that Raptor was refering to. No, it was much, much worse. The CMS had betrayed him.

From the begining it had been his forum, his domain, his playground where everyone bow and kiss his arse. Yes so he had to share it with silver_blue, but everyone knew that was really just his other alias. benny had been a problem, as he had clearly been a much better writer, but he was easily gotten rid of and no-one would ever find the body. Hell, it was even fun to log in as benny, to watch the little bastard post about how 'they'd just seen benny' and then go and whack off.

And so as the years passed, Raptor had been the numero uno, the big cheese. He had won more awards than anyone else, and that was the way it should be. It was, after all, his forum, his world and he should be king.

But all that had changed. The last ever CMS awards had seen that bastard Peacemaker7 'win' three awards, and he had passed Raptor's all time total to become the king of the CMS era. It simply wasnt fair. The guy was an argumentative bastard who couldnt write for sh-it according to Gricehead and he should know shouldnt he? He was, after all, another Raptor alias. And yet the ungrateful scum had only gone and made him the king, the numero uno and that simply wasnt on.

CMS was getting old anyway. FMS just didnt sound the same, and Raptor had had enough. With tears in his eyes, he deleted the forums. If he couldnt have them, no-one would. And having lost Katie, and now the forums he put a gun to his head and pulled the trigger......

shannon2007

2005-2006 Season Round Up

If ever there was a season that was easy, this was it. In fact the bionic implants were being so effective, they had to be tuned down a little bit as the Met raced to the Conference National title unbeaten in 38 matches. They decided to lose their last four games in the league just to make the others feel a little bit better. Amazingly though, despite such a run away win, not one single time did Ted Locke get awarded the manager of the month. So at least the people that picked that had some level of sensibility.

Player of the month was a bit different, with five of the nine awards going to Peacemaker7 and three to Fararmir. Some nobody from Morecambe won the September award. The young player of the month was brought home by Tyrone the Mag, WLKRAS, Gino and the F5 King himself and Peacemaker7 picked up the goal of the month five times, to leave Flipsix in his wake once more.

Indeed it had been a ridiculously stupid season from the Met veteran, who was now only 26 years old as he banged in 122 goals in all competitions, and only a late injury prevented him from reaching the ton in the league as he ended on 98. Greedy bastard.

FA Cup hopes reached the Quarter Finals, as Hayes, Bournemouth, Shrewsbury, Blackpool, Millwall and Hull all had their dreams destroyed by the Met, before Leeds reduced John Stevens to tears with a 2-1 win in the last eight. There would be no dream this season, but the FA Trophy ended up back at the Met as a brace from PM7 and a great strike from Gino saw Hereford overcome by 3-1 in the final of that competition.

Its up the League we go, and unless there is an FA enquiry, nothing it seems can stop Stevens boys going all the way to glory.

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">| Pos | Inf | Team | | Pld | Won | Drn | Lst | For | Ag | G.D. | Pts | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 1st | C | Met Police | | 42 | 36 | 2 | 4 | 144 | 24 | +120 | 110 | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 2nd | | Stevenage | | 42 | 22 | 10 | 10 | 77 | 52 | +25 | 76 | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 3rd | | Morecambe | | 42 | 20 | 9 | 13 | 60 | 45 | +15 | 69 | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 4th | | Barnet | | 42 | 18 | 13 | 11 | 52 | 35 | +17 | 67 | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 5th | P | Cambridge | | 42 | 17 | 15 | 10 | 58 | 40 | +18 | 66 | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 6th | | Bury | | 42 | 17 | 14 | 11 | 42 | 39 | +3 | 65 | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 7th | | Farnborough | | 42 | 16 | 13 | 13 | 59 | 57 | +2 | 61 | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 8th | | Exeter | | 42 | 18 | 7 | 17 | 64 | 64 | 0 | 61 | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 9th | | Leigh RMI | | 42 | 16 | 11 | 15 | 45 | 55 | -10 | 59 | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 10th | | Crawley | | 42 | 13 | 18 | 11 | 46 | 44 | +2 | 57 | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 11th | | Woking | | 42 | 14 | 14 | 14 | 69 | 73 | -4 | 56 | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 12th | | Gravesend | | 42 | 15 | 10 | 17 | 49 | 54 | -5 | 55 | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 13th | | Hereford | | 42 | 14 | 13 | 15 | 56 | 66 | -10 | 55 | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 14th | | Dag & Red | | 42 | 14 | 12 | 16 | 67 | 65 | +2 | 54 | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 15th | | Carlisle | | 42 | 13 | 15 | 14 | 49 | 47 | +2 | 54 | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 16th | | Halifax | | 42 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 42 | 49 | -7 | 53 | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 17th | | Scarborough | | 42 | 12 | 16 | 14 | 43 | 48 | -5 | 52 | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 18th | | Accrington | | 42 | 9 | 18 | 15 | 36 | 52 | -16 | 45 | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 19th | | Tamworth | | 42 | 9 | 13 | 20 | 47 | 67 | -20 | 40 | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 20th | R | Northwich | | 42 | 7 | 14 | 21 | 35 | 72 | -37 | 35 | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 21st | R | Alfreton | | 42 | 6 | 12 | 24 | 39 | 86 | -47 | 30 | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 22nd | R | Hornchurch | | 42 | 6 | 11 | 25 | 46 | 91 | -45 | 29 | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| </pre>

shannon2007

The Squad Round Up 2006

Goalkeepers

Lionel Perez An ever present this season, LP in most games had very little to do in a team that was too busy scoring to concede much. (57 appearances, 34 conceded, 31 clean sheets, 0 Man of the Match, 0 yellow, 0 red, 6.96) Value £8,000, Wage £55 PW

Keith Stuart Had a great season in his favourite position. Sitting on the bench. (0 appearances, 0 conceded, 0 clean sheets, 0 Man of the Match, 0 yellow, 0 red, 0.00) Value £0, Wage £25 PW

Defence

binny Seems to have gotten over his huff with the assistant, but playing wise not quit the impact he had last season. (23 (4) appearances, 0 goals, 5 assists, 0 Man of the Match, 3 yellow, 0 red, 7.37) Value £12,000 Wage £50

WLKRAS Despite actually playing roughly the same number of games as last season, WLKRAS started to complain that he was 'in need of a rest'. Wimp! (42 (4) appearances, 0 goals, 3 assists, 0 Man of the Match, 6 yellow, 1 red, 7.63) Value £18,000, Wage £80 PW

Brian of Nazareth Still very much a fringe player. (21 (6) appearances, 0 goals, 0 assists, 0 Man of the Match, 0 yellow, 0 red, 7.04) Value £12,000, Wage £55PW

Bob Beveridge Another good season for the re born defender. (42 (2) appearances, 2 goals, 4 assists, 0 Man of the Match, 3 yellow, 0 red, 7.64) Value £14,000, Wage £130PW

Bjorn A series of injuries meant Bjorn's appearances were limited this season. (13 (6) appearances, 1 goal, 0 assist, 0 Man of the Match, 0 yellow, 0 red, 7.05) Value £6000, Wage £55PW

Tyrone the Mag Flirting with the fringes of the team but still managed a young player of the month award. (15 (9) appearances, 0 goals, 5 assists, 0 Man of the Match, 1 yellow, 0 red, 7.25) Value £10,000, Wage £55PW

Flipsix3 Only missed two matches in a quite excellent season at left back. (55 appearances, 0 goals, 19 assists, 1 Man of the Match, 6 yellow, 1 red, 8.07) Value £130,000, Wage £130PW

Gonch19 Much better season as he managed a lot more playing time (39 (2) appearances, 0 goals, 4 assist, 0 Man of the Match, 6 yellow, 0 red, 7.51) Value £10,000, Wage £25PW

Midfield

Simon Furnival Managed a decent number of appearance despite a two month lay off. Unlike his stories, he did get the season finished. (38 (1) appearances, 1 goal, 1 assist, 0 Man of the Match, 5 yellow, 1 red, 7.18) Value £16,000, Wage £55PW

David Beckham Really does believe that John Stevens has done him a huge favour bringing him to the club. What an idiot. (46 (1) appearances, 6 goals, 23 assists, 5 Man of the Match, 2 yellow, 0 red, 8.06) Value £220,000, Wage £250PW

Faramir Continues to weight in with a decent number of goals from his position, especially considering the greedy bastard up front. (28 (1) appearances, 12 goals, 20 assists, 8 Man of the Match, 10 yellow, 0 red, 8.76) Value £30,000, Wage £100PW

Gricehead Recovered from injury and has made the odd appearance, when his mood has allowed it. (17 (2) appearances, 1 goals, 2 assists, 0 Man of the Match, 2 yellow, 0 red, 7.32) Value £1000, Wage £25PW

F5 King Even though F5 doesnt work on the pitch, Bruno still had a decent enough season. (42 (10) appearances, 3 goals, 21 assists, 1 Man of the Match, 8 yellow, 0 red, 7.92) Value £75,000, Wage £55PW

Gino Good season from the midfielder although he feels he isnt being played in his best position. The Pub. (34 (5) appearances, 3 goals, 16 assists, 0 Man of the Match, 2 yellow, 0 red, 7.77) Value £22,000, Wage £55PW

Attackers

Peacemaker7 Stupid season, scoring way too many goals and just showing off really. (43 (1) appearances, 122 goals, 16 assists, 30 Man of the Match, 9 yellow, 1 red, 9.23) Value £220,000, Wage £130PW

Raptor Found himself replaced by Spav & BrianW and wasnt overly happy. On the verge of killing himself anyway so who cares really. (11 (7) appearances, 4 goals, 2 assists, 1 Man of the Match, 0 yellow, 0 red, 7.06) Value £80,000, Wage £130PW

displaced_seagul Still wants to leave the club, and that is bound to have affected the opportunities available to him to play. (17 (8) appearances, 4 goals, 7 assists, 0 Man of the Match, 1 yellow, 0 red, 7.08) Value £26,000, Wage £55PPW

Spav Slightly less injuries this season, but never getting a decent run in the team this guys could be amazing if he ever does put three or four games together. (14 (4) appearances, 22 goals, 1 assists, 6 Man of the Match, 1 yellow, 0 red, 8.06) Value £50,000, Wage £100PW

BrianW The manager seems to fancy him as he keeps playing him for some reason. (30 (4) appearances, 10 goals, 12 assists, 0 Man of the Match, 4 yellow, 0 red, 7.32) Value £140,000, Wage £55PW