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After 4 years at Spurs The FM stories crew have finally got me to do a season long diary for them.
I must admit i need the cash, the nights spent in strip bars and casinos are catching up with me.
Oh and while i remember i'm Hugo Bozz manager of Spurs.
I became manager of Spurs after winning a hand of poker against Daniel Levy. Lucky me.
Anyway i'm now 4 years down the line and for some reason i'm still hanging around so soime boy at this lovely website offered me a handsome sum of kudos to do a wee diary for you fans and let it be said that the fact he played on my liking of the ladies made the contract talks go very smoothly.
Firstly i'll introduce my backroom team, lovely bunch of people.
Asst Manager: Gausten Taument - top bloke apparently quite a good player in his day.
Coaches:
Tony Whelan - Tight wad when it comes to spending the kudos, good coach though.
Lucas Radebe - A lot of god loving from this fella but i trust him anyway.
Rudi Vollborn - I found him kipping in a banged up Vauxhall Nova outside my caravan(temporary while i sort out the finances) He told me he was a coach, i had a hangover and the rest is history.
Fred Grim - Old Gauston recomended this old boy to teach the gk's how to save a ball, doesn't look all that hard but i'm told goalkeeping is a specialized position and you have to be a bit mad. Who knows eh?
Rui Faria - I hired this guy/burd because he/she looks like the burd that old svenny had a bit of ahem with. He/she goes to the guys bog but i'm sure he/she is a laydee boy on his holibobs.
Scouts, well this lot get paid for watching footie and in my eyes way to much but some old boy arnesen tells me i must have 2 or 3 i don't pay much attention to them so sorry boys but there's no name dropping for you lot.
Physios:
Dr Charlotte Cowie - She was here when i arrived 4 years ago and i've still no seen her knickers and i've no had any massages yet, a few of the boys tell me she is good. I must find out.
Rui Costa - Top chap, pulls burds with ease. The nights out are good when he's about.
Geoff Scott - Old boy, talks about when he was a lad a pint was only £1.20. Lucky old git. I've yet to find a bar in London where i can get a bevvy for less than £5.50.
I'd chat about the team but i'd be here all week so i'll just give you there names and maybe 1 or 2 comments about the lazy, overpaid good for nothings. Kiddin boys your all wonderful.
S.Westerveld - He showed me round the dam
P.Robinson
M.Murray
M.Mabizela
L.King
Alex - Brazilian chap, good cocktail maker
K.Hofland
A.Gardener
P.Stalteri - Canadian bloke
Kleber - He's just arrived
T. Huddlestone - Young fella, easily amused
D.Prutton - another who has just arrived
F.Guarin - Colombian, i don't trust them
T.Hitzelsperger
A. D'Alessandro - wee man
S.W.Phillips
D.Bierkofa - I just call him beer
K.Nolan
Geremi - or germany as he's known
M.Kallon - funny lad
P.Trochowski
D.Landzaat - a bit mental
K.Richardson - Funny hair
S.Ono - his bed is made of nails(strange lad)
so that's the boys that are aroound at the moment. I believe we have a reserve team but who knows, ask Franky Arney if you want to know about that lot.
At the mo we are in 1st place, top stuff(extra bonuses n all that).
Anyway this is the end of my first Dear diary as i've got a important poker game on tonight and we play some team the fans call Man ure on Sat the 13th of September so i suppose i better pick people to play that lot.
See you soon and if anyone wants to buy me a pint i'll be in the pub nearest that car park where my caravan is.
Cheers
Hugo
02-11-2005, 04:04 PM
2009 or 5 days and 20 hours and a lager tops plz Post #2
Any feedback would be well appreciated because this is my 1st and probably last story. I just fancied a bit of fun to go alongside my current game and wanted to make it realtively light hearted.
Cheers
02-11-2005, 04:58 PM
2009 or 5 days and 20 hours and a lager tops plz Post #3
Well it's Sunday the 13th at 6pm and i'm half way through a case of lager and a bottle of vodka.
I thought the day had started of well when the burd at the front desk of the stadium told me my new heated seat had been fitted in the dugout. Top notch gear, got it off some boy in a bar. It has all the gadgets n that. Heating, massage and doon't tell Levy but a wee beer fridge. WOOOO HOOO.
Anyway as you all probably know we were playing Man Ure today. We lost 2-0.
The info thing on the tele said:
Man Utd beat Spurs with ease
Goals from Jenas(2mins) and Alan Smith(26mins) took Man Utd to a 2-0 victory over Spurs.
Jenas hit a 25 yard shot into Westerveld bottom left hand corner after some good play by Fletcher. Smith had a easy tap in after more good play from Fletcher who was on top form in the middle of the Man Utd midfield.
Spurs best efforts both came through Robbie Keane who went close on two occasions. Spurs looked very poor after a good start to the season.
Teams:
Man Utd: Howard, Brown(Capdevlia 73), Silvestre, O'Shea, Ferdinand, Malbranque, Fletcher, Ronaldo(Luque 11), Jenas, Blasi, Smith(Bojinov 45).
Spurs: Westerveld, Mabizela, King, Upson, Kleber, Hitzelsperger, Guarin(Nolan 45), Kallon, D'Alessandro, Keane(Aruna 76), Ewerthon.
Now normally i'm a bit biased and blame it on the ref or god but fairs fair i'd actually give the linesman the blame this week. He was rubbish.
Anyway i think that since we lost i'll take they boys out to the seaside for a few beers on Tuesday to discuss the Crimbo night out to cheer them up. Old Gauston reckons that Man Ure or whatever they are called will be close to winning the title this year and he is good with betting form n all that so that's a tip for any punters out there.
Anyway i'm off to mi kip, these easy tinternet places give me the creeps. Oh and just in case your wondering the caravan is great burnt the thing down and got the insurance, nice eh. Clubs paying for my b&b while the lawyer sorts out my new apartment.
02-12-2005, 12:38 PM
2009 or 5 days and 20 hours and a lager tops plz Post #4
Today folks we are playing the Toon Army, i like this lot because they enjoy a good session after the match.
After that beating from Man Ure and a good day out at the seaside with the lads yesterday i'm confident that we'll get a good victory. I'm that confident that i've placed a £200 bet with my bookie and old Gauston reckons the team have looked in good shape. Here's hoping.
Now excuse me cos i'm off to get the brekkie from mrs....... well whoever she is, the old dear that runs the b&b. I highly recommend the wee b&b near white heart lane, crackin fry up and a bottle of irn bru for the hangover and my money is running out on my tinternet cafe thing.
02-12-2005, 12:55 PM
2009 or 5 days and 20 hours and a lager tops plz Post #5
Well folks if you had a wee flutter then i'm sorry.
It ended up 0-0.
The fans thingy on our website basically said it was a tight affair with neither team creating much.
Newcastle going close through Dagoberto and Spurs through Freddy Adu.
The Spurs team lacked the creative flare that D'Alessandro brings to the team and the partnership of Stead and Adu needs time to florish.
Not a lot else to be said really.
Spurs:
Westerveld, Stalteri, King(Mabizela 45) Upson, Gardener, Bierkofa, Gurain, Geremi, Wright-Phillips(Trochowski 72), Adu, Stead(Aruna 72).
MOTM: Bierkofa - only spurs player who really tried a leg.
If you have anything to say about this article please email me at Spursbloke@spursnet.co.uk
Now i know the fans are entitled to have there say but i thought the lads did okay and at least we've sorted our crimbo night out and we got a draw.
Anyway i'm off to meet a few Geordies for a game of poker and a few JD's.
Night
02-12-2005, 12:58 PM
2009 or 5 days and 20 hours and a lager tops plz Post #6
Fri 18th Sep 2009
Just a quick hi di ho to say that some bloke in the pub has told me i'm at home to Ipswich in the League Cup.
Sat 19th Sep 2009
Well i got up late this morning so i couldn't write my diary until after the game against Sheff Utd. I probably would have just written rubbish anyway.
Sheffield, i don't think i've been there before but to the point. Thankfully we won 2-0 cos that Arnesen bloke was ggiving me a bit of jip about the 0-0 draw during the week. He needs to chill out or i'm going to set my meercat on him and it carries a chib as well so he better watch his back.
Anyway since i've used tv text and tinternet reports on my previous games i thought i'd try to find other sources as well but i couldn't so back to texty thing again.
Spurs Leave Blades Blunt
Spurs gave Sheffield Utd a hard time of it today with goals from Ewerthon(17) and D'Alessandro(35) in a 2-0 victory. Spurs were pretty much camped in and around Uniteds penalty box with Sheffields goalkeeper Craig Gallacher probably feeling like he was under fire. Sheffields defence and goalkeeper deserve a lot of credit because there midfield and strikers being posted as missing for much of the match and with only two attempts at goal they will have to become a bit more attack minded to survive this season.
I have to agree with that chap on texty, we did play well and i ddon't know a great deal about footie but if it was poker i'd have a royal flush and sheffield would probably have had a pair of 2's at best. There manager Nigel, Neil or somebody errrr Warnock, Nigel or Neil Warnock is a top chap because he brought me a few beers to put in my chair in the dugout. I tell you somethin that chair is great and i gave old Warnock the boys number so he can get himself one.
Anyway have a good weekend folks and remember it's 2 for 1 dances at Big Mamma's
02-12-2005, 01:33 PM
2009 or 5 days and 20 hours and a lager tops plz Post #8
Feedback would be very much appreciated as i'm not sure as to how well this reads, I know the grammar and spelling is iffy in places but that's meant to be part of it's charm and my lazy butt.
02-19-2005, 03:37 PM
2009 or 5 days and 20 hours and a lager tops plz Post #9
Hi chaps and chapettes, it's me Hugo. Just nipped on to give you my take on tonights game against Juventus in the Champions League.
I know i normally use texty thing or the tinternet but for a change i made some notes at the game so i can say what i think.
Now then, we lost 1-0 but we was robbed, some boy called pingu no sorry, pinga scored a goal after 5 or 6 mins with that bunch of pizza lovin numptys only shot that was near our boy westerveld. He shouldn't be paid for only having one thing to do and messing up but apparently it's not the done thing to fine him for it. We had more than ten shots and we didn't score at all so i suppose the strikers need glasses. My boy Ewerthon was probably the player who came closest but close isn't good enough. We gave them a good hammering but thems the breaks.
I would point out though that old Ono chap saying the day before the game that if he doesn't play he's off. Miserable we so and so. He gets paid for sitting on the bench what else does he want, life is a breeze. I'd love to get piad what he does although he has to sit on the crappy plastic seats where as i've got my nice heated number.
Anyway i'm off to my kip cos none of the lads have any cash so poker is off for tonight.
We had a tough game today against the newly promoted QPR at Lofty Rd, crackin place for a few beers and a bit of gambling.
Anyway me and old gauston had a chat and decided that the majority of the boys who played Juve deserved a wee rest so we changed the team around a bit.
The line up was:
Robinson, Gardener, Hofland, King, Stalteri, Bierkofa, Ono, Wright-Phillips, Guarin, Stead, Aruna
Subbies: Westerveld, Mabizela, Richardson, Geremi, Adu
The game was an early one for me 12.30. I don't normally get oot ma kip until 11am but needs must and all that.
I'm again going to use my own wee notes from the game because the tinternet place costs me a fortune.
The game was a fairly end to end wee battle with QPR doing most of the attacking for the first 10 minutes but not really putting anything near big Paul in goals.
After 26 mins we broke the deadlock when a swift break up the park ended with Aruna playing a good pass through to big staedy boy and he battered the baw into the onion bag. The game then got a tad scrappy and old canadian stalteri gave away a pen which thankfully big Paul got a hand on to. The game then pretty much went back n forth until the 86th min when Aruna again played a nice wee dinked pass through to Aga Adu and he rounded the goalie and tapped it home. Then in the final moments when QPR were trying to get a goal we again hit them witha sucker punch. Freddy Guarin played took a long throw which landed on the noogin of Aruna who put it into the corner of the net. 3-0 and everyone was happy even me cos my mum phoned to say she coming to stay for a week so that means i'll get a half decent tea for a change.
Oh i forgot to say, i'm now in my own place, i kinda miss the old dear in the b and b. She done a great fry up.
2009 or 5 days and 20 hours and a lager tops plz 
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