Monkey Hangers appoint Lee as manager Lee promises not to hang any french monkeys unless they "really annoy me"
In a move that has stunned the footballing world, Hartlepool United chairman Ken Hodcroft has sacked Neale Cooper for undisclosed reasons, and appointed rookie Michael Lee as the new man in charge. Lee, deadly at twelve paces with a knife and fork, said of his appointment:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>I'm incredibly pleased to have been given the chance to manage the club I supported as a boy, and I hope I can bring the glory days back to Victoria Park. And I promise not to hang any French monkeys. Unless they really annoy me.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Transfers
Due to Hartlepool being declared a no-go zone by the FBI, no-one has been allowed to leave or join Hartlepool.
NEWSFLASH
All matches played at Victoria Park, Hartlepool will be played wearing radioactive suits, due to the close proximity of Darlington.
Division 2 - Matchday 1
Grimsby Town 1 - Darren Barnard (18)
Hartlepool United 1 - Paul Robsinson (61)
A tough opening day fixture away to Grimsby saw them take the lead early on, only for Robsinson to equalise midway through the second half for a share of the points in Lee's first game in charge of the club.
See next post for Live Coverage of the League Cup first round match Division 2 - Matchday 2
Port Vale 1 - Marc Bridge-Wilkinson (88)
Hartlepool United 2 - Eifion Williams (66), Steven Istead (77)
A rousing second half display after a dull first half saw Hartlepool take the points from a poor looking Vale side. Lee can be pleased with his players, as they put in a great performance to win 2-1.
Division 2 - Matchday 3
Hartlepool United 1 - Mark Tinkler (3)
Chesterfield 2 - Marvin Robinson (45), Caleb Folan (84)
A very depressing result. Mark Tinkler gave Hartlepool the lead early on, finding space in the box from an Istead free-kick. But Robinson equalised with literally the last kick of the first half, and Hartlepool never recovered. To be fair, they lasted until 5 minutes from time before Folan popped up with the winner, but that just made the defeat a little harder to take.
Division 2 - Matchday 4
Hartlepool United 1 - Steven Istead (13)
Plymouth Argyle 1 - Peter Weaterson (58)
A lucky draw for Hartlepool, although they had the majority of the play in the first half. Steven Istead netting his second of the season. However, once Peter Weatherson equalised for Argyle 13 minutes into the second half, Hartlepool had to withstand heavy amounts of pressure to come out of this one with a draw. A good result.
Division 2 - Matchday 5
QPR 4 - Danny ShÃ*ttu (12), Damian Spencer (41), Kevin McLeod (54, 73)
Hartlepool United 1 - Martin Rowlands (og 61)
Ahem. The less said about this the better. Completely outclassed, and had to rely on them to get us on the scoresheet. Not good.
Division 2 - Matchday 6
Hartlepool United 1 - Eifion Williams (25)
Barnsley 3 - Brian O'Callaghan (1), Tony Gallimore (75), Stephen Carson (78)
Another defeat for Pool, this time to Barnsley, who were always the better side on the day and deserved to win the match.
Division 2 - Matchday 7
Stockport County 4 - Aaron Wilbraham (44, 60), Rob Jones (58), Marc Goodfellow (90)
Hartlepool United 4 - Adam Boyd (18, 22, 45), Ryan McCann (55)


4-1 up after 55 minutes and cruising against ten men. Should be an easy win, no? Exactly. 2 goals in 3 minutes, then an injury time equaliser left Michael Lee seething at his players, and Hartlepool had snatched a draw from the jaws of victory.
Division 2 - Matchday 8
Hartlepool United 0
Notts County 3 - Paul Heffernan (13), Simon Baldry (70), Jon Ostembor (90)
Aha. Ahahahaha. No.
League Cup - 1st and 2nd rounds to follow