retired_edkimbal

West Ham slow out of the blocks

A sluggish start for West ham this season after the fans expected a return to premiership football come May.

Wigan hoovering up players in the transfer market have made it tough for West Ham to strengthen a rather weak side. Purchases of Berkovic and Lekgwathi to strengthen a very weak midfield has started to yield some points. Hopefully the team can build momentum and climb the league table.

The team certainly lacks a goalscorer having hit just 3 goals in 6 games and this stems mainly from a lack of creativity which Berkovic which heopfully provide on his arrival.

Eileeno671

Game News

Some of the latest goings-on from the game.


http://www.ufmig.com/thefishwrappermini/

retired_abess

I've been bending Duffy's arm about letting us test the improved net game code, and he seems enthusiastic. Won't be before next week though.

bigmacx

:thup:

retired_l27579

:thup:

Eileeno671

What the f**k is he playing at was the question on most Reading fan’s lips, as club chairman/owner John Madejski announced at the hurriedly arranged press conference that there was to be a change of manager at the club, just 4 weeks before the start of the new season.

While the assembled fleet street wags, got their cogs turning to start thinking of just who was going to be taking charge, onto the stage stumbled a nervous looking fatboy….

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>John Madejski:
Ladies and Gentlemen, thanks for coming, for a change I don’t have much to say, other than to introduce the man who I think can take this football club to the next level. So without further ado, here is the new manager of Reading FC, Carl Dean. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Stunned Silence


<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>John Madejski:
So, any questions for our new saviour? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Brian Woolnough (Daily Star):
Er, what experience do you have? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Carl Dean:
None, thanks for the warm welcome <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>John Sadler (The Sun):
What did you catch the Chairman doing, in order to blackmail him into giving you the job? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Carl Dean:
You’d have to ask him about that. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

The Chairman slopes off the stage in a un-ninja like fashion, all hell breaks loose as the entire press party goes after him.


Pre-Season

Overall I thought that we had a squad that could do the business and get us promoted to the Premiership. The main position that needed looking at was the lack of cover at centre back. It was decided that around half of the paltry transfer budget would be sent to Nottingham with Wes Morgan coming in the opposite direction. Second on the hit list was to bring in a quality holding player, and Okpara would was available on a free transfer was enticed to the Madejski with a bulging wage packet.

Players In
<UL TYPE=SQUARE>
<LI>Per Ciljan Skjelbred (M RLC) – £170k - Rosenborg
<LI>Aaron Brown (M LC) - Free Transfer
<LI>Wes Morgan (D C) – £300k – Nottingham Forest
<LI>Patrick Mtiliga (D/DM L) - £210k - Feyenoord
<LI>Godwin Okpara (DM C) - Free Transfer
</UL>
Six preseason friendlies, Six Impressive Wins. Could Dean know what this management lark is all about?


The Season Begins

Reading 0 - 0 Burnley

Uttlery dominated possession, numerous chances on goal, restricted dreadful Burnley to a couple of hopeful long shots, but woeful finishing by Owusu and Forster who between them missed 9 chances meant the spoils were shared.

Watford 2 - 3 Reading

A better performance from the strikeforce, but a shocking one from the back four. A Nick Shorey penalty on 34 minutes opened our account, but the lead only lasted 9 minutes as Gunarsson struck back for the Hornets. Patrick Mtiliga hit his first goal for the club 10 minutes after the break, with a beautiful left footed strike from just inside the box, but “The Sieve” failed again, and the lead only lasted 5 minutes, as Watford’s captain Sean Dyche slotted home from 6 yards. But we proved that we have resilience as Lloyd Owusu hit a fantastic winner with 7 minutes left to take all three points.

Reading 1 - 1 West Ham

Another shocking performance from the boys up front. A colossal 19 chances created, 13 on target and our goal came from a 13th minute Nick Shorey penalty, only for this to be cancelled out by the Hammer’s only effort on target as OAP Sheringham met Etherington’s cross on 18 minutes. Complete pish.

Brighton 0 - 1 Reading

Dreadful. But at least we won, but it took yet another Shorey penalty to secure the win.

Reading 1 - 0 Coventry

On the face of it, this would look like a disappointing result against an inconsistent Coventry side. After once again dominating possession, but doing precious little with it, it looked as though we would have to make do with a draw at best as Brian Canvey rightly got his marching orders after 69 minutes, due to two Scholes like tackles. But cometh the hour, cometh the Goat. A great defence splitting ball down the centre from Glenn Little on 78 minutes, fed him, and he didn’t need to be asked twice to slot the ball into the bottom corner.

Reading 2 - 0 Colchester

The 1st round of the League Cup pitted rubbish Colchester against the Royals, and they were just as bad as expected.

Milwall 1 - 0 Reading

Read all about this game here.

retired_l27579

The Coca-Cola Championship Circus?
The Championship certainly has been nothing short of a circus display this year, as big shots drop down, and minors rise all the way. Promotion favorites Leeds has been underwhelming since the start of the season and have already sacked their manager. Other promotion favorites Derby have also been sulking in the drop zone for weeks now, only recently to be topped by yet another premiership favorite team... the team that gave us Joe Cole, that's right ladies and gentlemen, we're talking about West Ham... in fact the only promotion favorite teams to be performing well is Sunderland and Leicester... the black cats have been trailing in 3rd position since almost the start of the season whilst Leicester has been holding on to 2nd place firmly.

Whilst the situation was dark and spooky for the bigshots, the little teams have been doing quite well... Crewe Alexandra, Sheffield United and Preston are some of the 'surprise' playoff position teams at the moment. Whilst Wigan are currently leading the Season. All though Wigan was tipped as an outside contender for the promotion spot, nobody would have guessed them to be standing in first place, despite their outrageous Financial Structure and Overclassed Squad.

Other controversial appointments this season include Cardiff, Millwall and Reading. Whilst Reading and Millwall have started well into the season (with Milwall particularly dominant in Europe) a time of decline has overwhelmed both teams, Cardiff on the other hand are recovering from a rather dissapointing start to the season, recently loosing to Leicester, but otherwise doing well.

It sure is an exciting year, and with the first 2 and a half months gone the league is slowly starting to shape up. Whilst its still early to make end of season predictions, we can clearly say that the new blood the management scene has encountered recently has been quite refreshing and is shaping up the whole league into something rather intresting. We know the book keepers are having a great time.

The FootyReport Weekly

retired_l27579

Doner-Monger Madness?
Things have been quite out of the ordinary this year in Sheffield, thanks to the appointment of unknown kebab-monger Emir Karakurt as manager by Sheffield United. Whilst not a team expected to reach great heights in the league this year, the Blades do hold quite a strong side, with many young talents like Micheal Tonge and Phil Jagielka. The appointment of this 25 year old Turkish Kebab chef was the centre of mocking for all, which displeased fans of the Blades immensly

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>We're sick and bloody tired of being dissed by all them wednesday fans about our onion mouthed manager <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

stated a young Blades fanatic earlier this season in an interview.

Things have changed of late though, as the Blades have been in serious contention for a playoff spot lately, also narrowly beating league leaders Wigan F.C away. The once mocked Kebab boy is now a popular face in the Sheffield region and his shop is making even more money from all the publicity.

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>even wednesday fans are coming in... its amazing! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

as quoted from one of the waiters at Emir's Doner Lounge.

The season so far has seen the Blades grab a place in the playoff spot but recently Sheff Utd has done the seemingly impossible and reached 2nd spot in the league. This is quite a considerable effort regarding that a new inexperienced manager is involved and half the star players at sheffield want to move away, but Karakurt seems to manage to hang in there.

Micheal Tonge has won a couple of awards already and Antti Sumiala is currently Joint Second in the Golden boot race and Hungarian Midfielder Zsolt Dveri is slowly learning English, a relief to the whole team...

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Zsolt Dveri (Rather Enthusiastically): Igen, igen, me spiik english now <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

The results of Sheffield UTD's games up till now are as follows:

[THIS SPACE WILL BE fILLED WITH A SCREENSHOT TOMORROW NIGHT FOR ACCURACY'S SAKE]

The most notable Results out of this lot has to be the 4-0 Leeds win at home and the 2-1 Away win to League Leaders Wigan FC. So far Karakurt has been doing well and it seems he may even be in contention for 1st place and a guaranteed ticket to the premier league, the result is still a mystery to us all but it is a mystery that we are waiting to unravel pretty soon.

- The Sheffield Tribune

note: i will start my match by match reports after next session (sunday 19th December) followed by an interview with the squad. Stay tuned.

oh and many thanks to the UFMIG gang for lightening up my late weekend evenings... you're all great

retired_edkimbal

West Ham rally after pooor start

After a very poor start seeing West Ham occupying 23rd place in the table.

Manager Chris Campbell needed carry on the strengthening of the team and the signature of Eyal Berkovic went a long way towards that. The out of favour Goran Bunjecevic from Spurs was another string signing for the club and the team also secured the long term loan of Arsenal youngster Jeremie Aliadiere.

The team showed some response after the first two signings, taking 4 points from 9 under the temprorary stewardship of Peter Grant.

Upon the signing of Aliadiere though the clubs fortunes started to change.

West Ham 4 Crewe 0

A Zamora first hald penalty gave the Hammers a 1-0 first half lead before he was replaced through injury. Bunjevcivic missed a penalty before West Ham took full control with two goals from Aliadiere either side of a Rebrov bullet.

West Ham played by far the best football they have done the season as the team looks to be starting to gel under Campbell's tactical system.

Derby 3 West Ham 4

West Ham raced into a 3-0 lead inside 25 minutes in this game Aliadiere hitting 2 and Rebrov the other. Derby then took control of the game and hit back twice before Bunjevcevic hit a 4th for West Ham in the second half. Crewe once again pegged the scoreline back and almost threatened to nick a point hitting the bar in the 89th minute.

However campbells energetic tactics are proving tiring to the squad and with many injuries the team will still need to be strengethen if they are too challenge this season.

The club are now sat in 13the place in the table and with a continued run of form they could thrust themselves into Play-off contention.

retired_l27579

Slow Conditions Delay Efficiency of Games?
We are all familiar with conditions that can slow games down... even postpone them entirely. They usually come in the form of gale, sleet, rain and snow... and a new type of weather condition was introduced with the beginning of this campaign.

This new condition, whilst not currently endangering the immediate consistency of the game, can actually slow it down to annoying rates at time... the condition is caused mainly by the heavy gravitational pull of the Earth's Centre and the Sun. Caught in between this massive pull is a varying factor that specifies the intensity of this heavy condition, and that factor is called "Internet Connection Lines".

A name has not been specified as yet for this new condition although experts are already starting to call it lag. This heavy condition does its best to slow the rate the games continue as well as even stopping the game entirely for hours on end on a specific day. Yes ladies and Gentlemen it is indeed an annoying condition and has only been encountered at the start of this season, and while it still hasn't done anything serious enough to marr the progression of the game altogether (except once causing Mr.Bell to retire and reconsider his retirement already) it does remain as a long-term depleting annoyance factor.

The only solution it seems is to hope the gravitational pull is lessened by these two masses to start a chemical reaction that will ensure all life occurs at twice the speed as it has already enabling things to pass much quicker... or more easily a patch that will solve all delays and annoyances once and for all.

We hope the solution reaches us in the form of the latter... messing with gravity has never been healthy as Mr.Newton would happily proove to you all if he were still alive and kicking. We hope to inform you with new updates as soon as the situation is considered and relayed to us by the "gods" of the game (Sigames).

The Annoying-Weatherman Daily