retired_teresa assis

So here's the start of a new era. 6 games to go in the season, and still an outside chance of winning the title. Could we do it?

Man Utd 5-0 Wolves

Not a bad start hey, albeit against a poor Wolves team. Wolves task was made all the more difficult as Rob Edwards hauled down Van Nistelrooy on the edge of the box, earning a straight red card. Van Nistelrooy (45) himself broke the deadlock just before the break, which signalled the floodgates opening. Rooney (56), Van der Vaart (57), Keane (63) and Van Nistelrooy (86) all helped to make the scoreline look very respectable indeed.

Man City 0-1 Man Utd

An immediate for the new manager, away at local rivals City. Keane (37) headed home a Giggs corner to put United ahead at the break, and only David James heroics kept the score at 1-0.

Man Utd 1-0 Fulham

Unlike the Boro v Fulham game, this was a very tight affair, a Rooney (9) header was all that separated the sides. Fulham set their stall out to frustrate the home side, and it worked. In the second half, all that either team could muster was 1 shot off target each. While credit must go to Ilyas for keeping United quiet, Fulham never looked like getting back into the game once going behind.

Aston Villa 1-1 Man Utd

United looked to have edged this close encounter when Van Nistelrooy (80) broke the deadlock. Smith had a goal disallowed, which would've made victory safe, but with the last kick of the game, Samuel (90 +4) bundled home the ball after a goalmouth scramble to effectively end any title hopes United had.

Liverpool 0-0 Man Utd

4th versus 3rd at Anfield, and the tension got the better of the game. After 30 minutes Biscan was sent off after he hauled down Van Nistelrooy in the box. In front of the Kop, up stepped captain Keane, but his spot-kick was saved. As United looked to make their numerical advantage pay, Ferdinand was sent off for two soft bookings, and the game fizzled out into a 0-0 draw.

This result meant the most I could hope for was 3rd place, but meant Liverpool in 4th would almost certainly not catch us.

Man Utd 2-0 Boro

Ironically, a game I'd been fearing for so long all season, actually turned out to be a pressure-free fixture. After a goalless 1st half, Van Nistelrooy (53) broke the deadlock, Rooney (73) adding a second to make the points safe.


So there we have it, 3rd place and Champions league football. The squad, despite it's talents, is weak in a couple of positions; expect to see Liggins dabbling heavily in the transfer market over the summer.

Up the, erm, United!

retired_hollieo

7th place for the Toffees

Yes, a healthy 2005/06 campaign for the Toffees coming home in 7th position which was a huge improvement on 2004/05. We finished third in the human manager stakes as well - only outperformed by the two managers with the largest wallets in the game - Sam Bouchard at Tottenham Hotspur and Richard Liggins at Middlesbrough/Manchester United. Once again Everton put in an excellent performance in the Carling Cup reaching the semi final for the second season in a row, before being narrowly beaten by Manchester United. We also reached the Quarter Finals of the FA Cup, the highlight of which was a 5-1 victory over Newcastle United. So all in all, finishing 7th is a good achievement for Everton at this stage when one considers the wage structure that is in place rules me out of the running immediately for the top stars. And at least I have a bit of loyalty about me, which can't be said of some of my fellow "glory hunter" managers who were swinging digs at each other to get the Manchester United job. :p

Here's a few run in results.

Everton 0 - 0 Portsmouth

Andy Nilsen brought his south coast flops up to Merseyside for only our second meeting at Goodison Park after quite a few duels down at Fratton Park in recent times. Having totally revamped his squad in his short time at Portsmouth, Nilsen remains stuck down near the bottom of the table and showing little sign of progress. However, on the day Nilsen is generally a lucky manager so we knew we'd have to watch out for his legendary good fortune. Indeed having watched the game, Nilsen could be said to have been lucky to get away with a point as in the main Everton carried the game to Portsmouth and Calaio tested De Sanctis on many an occasion. However, on the day and with Everton having not been in convincing form recently themselves, a draw was just about the right result with Nilsen slurring over a post game bottle of Smirnoff that he was fortunate De Sanctis had a rare solid performance. At least he was more solid that Nilsen was, with the Pompey manager staggering all over my office. As for Murphy he said,


Everton 0 - 3 Tottenham Hotspur

Having already beaten Bouchard's men twice down at the Lane this season, I was confident that we could take something off Tottenham and dent his European Cup qualification ambitions. However, on the day Tottenham were absolutely superb in one of the best performances against my team this season. Spurs were better all over the pitch and a 90th minute goal from Ledley King to make it 3-0 just underlined their superiority emphatically.


Manchester City 1 - 2 Everton

With Man City in disarray after the sacking of Leo Hardy this was a good opportunity to pick up three more points on the road. Hardy in his short spell at the City of Manchester Stadium had built a good team that was clearly underachieving. Everton started well in the first ten minutes but were to fall behind in the second half to a Sibierski effort. This was to be one of those days though were Everton proved their made of strong stuff and sub Tomas Sivok scored a cracking diving header to pull us level. With time running out both sides went for the winner and in the 90th minute, Everton were awarded a rare penalty and the chance to win the game. Defying incredible pressure from the City boo boys, Zurawski stepped up to slam home the winner. Nice.


Aston Villa 2 - 0 Everton

Disappointing result because Villa were clearly not two goals better than us on the day. Everton had a few chances in this game that we didn't take and Villa had Kevin Nolan playing out of his skin. From 35 yards Nolan took aim and fired a superb shot into the top corner which was very annoying as we were well comfortable. Nolan added a scrambled second four minutes later and despite playing quite well, we just couldn't get back into it.

This is the type of game that is holding us back at the minute. We have to be more clinical in front of goal next season because at this level of football you can't expect teams not to punish us.

Everton 2 - 0 Fulham

With Fulham in decline under Chris Coleman, Mohammed turned to Mohammed and said in a booming voice, Yo Mo, I bid you to bring your managerial gifts to my underperforming team, big lad. That was how Mohammed Al Fayed appointed his new coach, Mo Ilyas, as reported to the Sun by the girl behind the till in Harrods. With Mo missing the transfer deadline, he's been working with Coleman's cloggers and today it showed as Everton walked to an easy victory despite Fulham's heavy handed tactics and persistent fouling. Selakovic scoring in the first half and then an own goal from the goalkeeper late in the game to make it two.

Mo Ilyas came here and tried to shut up shop and keep it tight at the back. He was very unlucky with the dismissal of Dioup after 25 minutes, but if your going to play a dirty game you got to face the consequences. Having said that, I saw enough from Ilyas to expect huge improvements in Fulham over the coming months. They look well organised and probably will be looking for a clinical finisher in the summer to add to their attacking options.

Everton 2 - 2 Middlesbrough

So now I know why Liggins took the Man Utd job (boo). He was running scared of another defeat at Goodison and jumped ship to Man Utd before I could take his side to the cleaners. Despicable behaviour. Here a fair draw, Zurawski netting twice for us, Boro worthy of a point.


Everton 4 - 2 Southampton

And to the final game of the season and it was Rob Steel who visited Goodison. Well this was a rout, we were very quickly 4-0 up against a very poor Southampton outfit and I was left wondering how they had been within three points of us prior to the game. Although Saints pulled two late goals back, the result was never in doubt and far from panicking, I took the opportunity to let a few reserves stretch their legs and gain some match experience, so complete was our domination.

retired_teresa assis

Priceless, almost as funny as your "ducks arse" comment. Loyalty? So why did you apply for the Boro hotseat then?

retired_hollieo

I haven't applied, that was an attempt at mind games. By implying I was applying for the job, I hoped to make you think twice about spending £24m on Dede.

retired_teresa assis

Ah, so like all your other attempts at mind games they failed then?

Nevermind, keep watching those Kevin Keegan videos, you'll get the hang of it sooner or later

retired_hollieo

No worries, now you go and beg Glazer for another £30m

retired_teresa assis

And no doubt he'll say yes. Ah the joys of money. Makes a change from having none with Boro on cm03/04

retired_hollieo

Fair point, but you can't expect to take the United job without getting some teasing, which is all I did above.

retired_ron

<STRIKE>Blackburn</STRIKE>

I think i'll change the colour of my hair

retired_kimberlysmith

Losing The Plot Aswell As His Memory

This week Sam Bouchard was scheduled to talk about the last 6 months with Spurs at a press conference alongside Stevie Wonder and the board. This however wasn't as informative on the season as once hoped after Bouchard admitted to losing his notes and then having an Only Fools and Horses marathon with the team.


Saturday 13th May 2006

Leicester City [0]:
Tottenham Hotspur [3]: Moore(18,43), McFadden(52)

The team that Bouchard picked to do well this season has indeed done that, staying up quite comfortably in 16th place, one below the drop. Other premoted teams havn't fared too well, but Leicester have, picking up points where people never thought they would and they've signed some top quality players that have no doubt done quite a lot to keep them up.

Two good goals from Luke Moore got Spurs a lead that they never really looked like losing. After James McFadden sprinted across the field to retrieve a ball that looked aimed for Row Z, he then got the ball turned on it and blasted it into the top corner, a truly fantastic goal for the ex Everton man.


With the season over 6th place was where Spurs finished. A bit dissapointing considering the previous season's 4th placed effort but maybe the pressure was a bit too much for the players to contend with.

Bouchard had this to say on the final position...