retired_sankanyo

The man
the legend
The best dam manager ever seen
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.
.
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as RETURNED!!!!!!

Football may have changed but one thing is still the same and forever will be and that is if you have the goat as your manager you are guaranteed entertaining football and of course success. You must know by now that I turned Manchester city into a household name dominating world football with some of the best football ever seen. Then it was on to Portsmouth were I won the league title and finished in the top 4 four times which no other EPL manager achieved (not even Chelsea and united who were managed by 2 of the most overrated managers in the premiership Dunga99 AKA Danny and AsherDSSc AKA Rick :p )



Out of all the teams you could of managed why choose Blackburn?
Well unlike Mr Murphy I wanted a challenge this season and out of all possible contenders Blackburn were the most suitable. Not to mention one of my favourite players, my fellow Norwegian (ok so I’m only 1/8 Norwegian but it still counts) Mortan Gamst Pedersen is already at the club.

So are you happy with the clubs financial state?
What kind of question is that you numnut? You know that this club only as £1 in the bank (I’m not even joking it seriously is £1) and you ask if I’m happy. Of course I’m not but you know me, I can raise money like no one else so expect major transfer deals to go through during the summer to help balance the books :thup: .

What are your plans for the club?
Success.
The first season will be all about making my own squad so don’t expect big things in the first season. Much like my time at city and Portsmouth were in my first season we finished mid table. The second season I will be aiming for top7 or maybe even top 4 and then the third season will be the point were I turn Blackburn into a force to be reckoned with when we win the title. :cool:


I know you all want to hear what I think of the competition this year so here goes

David Pagi - Spurs
I know what your thinking so ill say it for you wtf are spurs doing hiring this nutter who underachieves at every club he’s been at? (well it is spurs so just put 2+2 together and you realise the answer is simple).
Anyway imo (lets face it my opinion is FACT! ) pagi should be aiming to win the league title with a squad full of class players and the resources to bring even more in if need be. Spurs also have no European competition to worry about which is a bonus so to finish off spurs should finish top 4 atleast.

Niall ‘Brum are crap’ Murphy - Birmingham
No matter what Murphy says we all know Birmingham are the second best team out of the human controlled teams. So with my nemesis starting with a good squad and money to spend I cant see him being near the bottom like the rest of us (unless he buckles under the pressure which he is showing signs of already of starting with a good team ) so I predict a top 7 finish.

Sam - Villa
Villa are one of the big three along with Spurs and Brum but with O’Leary spending 11m on a bunch of crap will Ellis give Sam the money he wants or will the so called doctor Sam have to ‘examine’ Doug’s back passage some more to get what he wants :eek: ? Should finish in the top 8

Mark D'Ardenne - Fulham
Fulham fans will be excited as Mark as a reputation of building teams full of French stars such as …… hmmm….. Well there was that one ……. What was his name…… o ok I tried to be professional but lets face facts even Murphy is better than most of the French guys Mark buys. The only decent French guy is Malbranque but will he want to stay in a team that makes him ashamed to be French? Will fight against relegation and probably finish around 16th.

Rick Boult - City
Was manager of Blackburn who got relegated, he then turned it around winning promotion when out of the blue (and still no one in the epl knows why) Man United offered him a job. Needless to say Rick won the title thanks to his suggar daddy but then it all went t!ts up next season when they were 15 points behind my Portsmouth :cool: so Rick left and as now returned to manage united rivals MAN CITY! City have a decent squad, money to spend and a great stadium. The future sure seems bright especially with the best youngsters in England. For now though City are nothing more than a midtable team.

Danny King - West Ham
After being Chelsea will Danny be able to handle the pressure of not having unlimited amounts of cash? I think with the right buys West Ham could be a pretty decent team but knowing dannys past buys he will probably get west ham relegated :p . I predict that they will survive in 17th place

Ben Jackson - Wigan
Ben has a challenge on his hands with a very poor squad he will have to do all he can to improve it. The Wigan chairman as made this possible though by handing him 10m to spend but the question is who would join a team almost certain to be relegated? Its going to be tight at the bottom this year and unfortunately for Ben wigan will not have what it takes to survive.

Ligs - West Brom
Ligs as had a controversial past in the EPL with rumours of scandals floating round the press daily. Ligs had to get away from these rumours before Niall sent the guys that can only be described as ‘Them’ to do some unearthly things to ligs. After his long time away he has returned taking control of West Brom who have bought well under Robson so Ligs will be expecting a midtable finish although with such a hard season to predict he could find west brom being relegated.


Dave Williams - Charlton Athletic
Ashamed of being compared to Jay as one of the worst managers in EPL history Dave will be determined to show that he is actually an average manager
Top 10 will be the aim for Charlton but with Williams in charge they could very well find themselves routed to the bottom. :p

And there we have it folks the first of many successful reports coming from Ewood

blgstocks

Revolving door whirls at Craven cottage...Mo barred from the ground after public didsorder offence during friendly against Colchester

After the first hectic week or so at the helm of Fulham, manager Mark D'Ardenne has already implemented changes in the playing staff at the cottage, with a host of high profile departures, with some players who had just been signed by the previous management being shown the door immediately! D'Ardenne, who is keen to put his own stamp on the team, has however brought in reinforcements with 5 players already signing on for the season, 4 on permanent contracts and 1 on loan for the duration of the season.

Players In

Leandre Griffit-Southampton-30k(French)
21 year old winger who is apt with either foot, and has had some succes with me in the past in league 1 and the championship, should be more of a backup player this season but if the worst happens could play more of a part next season.

Cyril Chapuis-Marseille-Free(French)
26 year old who had an ill fated loan spell with leeds during there relegation season, but i know can find the back of the net. I had a word with the lad and he seems keen to rectify the poor opinion of him held by the majority of english supporters, and for no fee, was keen for him to sign on and bolster my wafer thin strikeforce.

Allin Stoica-Siena-Free(Romanian)
Another lad snapped up on a free, and at 26 should provide service for a few years yet. He was signed mainly for his versatility as he can play across the midfield and provides cover for alot of places, however he could force his way into the team, he certainly has the potential.

Jimmy Briand-Rennes-Loan-(French)
This lad is dynamite and ive alot of experience of him firsthand, and was delighted when i got the chance to take him on a season long loan. This lad has pace and can stick the ball in the back of then net and should get us some goals, rumours of a permananent deal are true with negotiations at an advanced stage.

Nigel Reo-Coker-West Ham-£3M-(English)
This young lad is a quality player who i hope will develop into engine room of my midfield for years to come, and with Diop expected to want to leave for a bigger club, in january, he could well feature alot for us over the next season, he also has extensive experience of the championship, which could prove useful. Also when the £3M deal was struck King was attacked by the hammers faithful for selling the starlet so cheaply, i hope the fans were right!

Players Out

Radzinski.T-Genk-£2.5m
Jensen.C-Portsmouth-£2.5m
Leacock.D-Rangers-875k
Jensen.N-Panathanaikos-£1.7m
Helguson.H-Panathanaikos-£2m
Timlin.M-Sheffield united-875k+20% future fee
Pembridge.M-Southampton-230k

With a struggle to keep some big players at the club and the small matter of being some £22m in debt- expect further departures and signings "a l'avenir"

retired_hollieo

Murphy's announces first new signing.

Birmingham City today held a press conference to announce the signing of Swedish U21 winger, Tobias Hysen for £1m from Swedish club Djurgarden. Although not the big name signing that the fans craved to bolster Birmingham's Premiership campaign this season, Murphy had the following to say:

As the Swede joined the club, three stalwarts of the Steve Bruce era were offloaded by the affable Irishman. Steve Clemence, Stan Lazaradis and Muzzy Izzet all leaving for new sides.

Why didn't you go for Reo Coker?

In other news, Murphy also announced that he had completed the signing of Liverpool goalkeeper Chris Kirkland for the beginning of the 2006/07 for £1.7m. The former England goalkeeper will spend the season on loan at West Brom where he anticipates a relegation battle under the "disappointed to miss out" West Brom boss Liggins. Kirkland was heard to say, "there's more chance of Aston Villa winning a Premiership game than me joining WBA!!!"

retired_exoticpanther33

20th July 2005
Shock Resignation Leads to Shocking Appointment

Portsmouth Football Club were last night thrown into turmoil, as Alain Perrin resigned from his post after a rift with Chairman Milan Mandaric over transfer targets. Details are only now starting to emerge, and are sketchy at best, but it appears that the Serbian businessman had instructed to sign certain players, in preference to his own preferred targets.

Perrin is rumoured to have flown into a rage at this, and stormed out of the club, but not before

Stepping into the breach is newcomer and managerial rookie Jay Mellor, who takes the rather large step up from Everton youth team coach to Premiership boss - although how in charge he will actually be, remains to be seen.



Squad Rundown:

Goalkeepers:
Jamie Ashdown, age 24
Sander Westerveld, age 30
Kostas Chalkias, age 31
Andrea Guatelli, age 21

A couple of solid if unspectacular keepers who should, in theory, tide me over for now - at some point in the future will be looking to improve this position, if things go according to plan. Undecided at the moment who from Ashdown and Westerveld will start the season as number 1 choice, but Guatelli looks like he might have potential for the future.



Defenders:
Matthew Taylor, age 23, - D/WB/AM L
Dejan Stefanovic, age 30, - D LC
Andy O'Brien, age 26 - D C
Aliou Cissé, age 29 - D R, DM
Brian Priske, age 28 - D RC
Gregory Vignal, age 25, D/WB L
Linvoy Primus, age 32, D RC
Andrew Griffin, age 26, D/WB R

A fair few of my defensive players are either pushing, or are the wrong side of 30 - younger, higher quality replacements will need to be brought in as soon as possible. Starting back line will probably consist of Taylor on the left, Stefanovic (C) and O'Brien in the centre, with Cissé on the right hand side.

Taylor will also provide cover on the left of midfield when required.


Midfield:
Zvonimir Vukic, age 26, AM C
Gary O'Neil, age 22, AM RC
John Viáfara, age 26, DM, M RC
Laurent Robert, age 30, AM L
Richard Hughes, age 26, DM, M LC
Ivica Mornar, age 31, AM R, F C
Salif Diao, age 28, DM
Franck Song'o, age 18, AM R
Richard Duffy, age 20, D/WB R
Liam Horsted, age 19, AM L, ST
Giannis Skopelitis, age 27, DM
Scott Harris, age 20, M C

Not a bad selection to choose from - Vukic in particular looks to have star quality, and making his deal a permanent one from Shakhtar will be a top priority. Laurent Robert, who is due to join at the end of the season on a free transfer, will be our set piece taker - his aim from long range is well documented. O'Neil and Mornar will fight it out for the right wing position, while Viáfara and Diao will provide further competition in the centre. Song'o looks like a quality acquisition from Barca for the future.


Attack
Lomano Lua Lua, age 24, AM R, FC
Collins Mbesuma, age 21, ST
Svetoslav Todorov, age 27, ST
James Keene, age 19, ST
Vincent Pericard, age 23, ST
Dario Silva, age 32, AM/F C
Azar Karadas, age 24, ST
Aleksandar Rodic, age 25, ST

Upfront, we have a few quality players. Lua Lua's pace is well known and rightly feared around the Premiership - if he can up his goal rate, we will have a first class striker on our hands. Mbesuma is something of an unknown quantity, but I have high hopes for this youngster - he may be the one player with the ability to propel us up and out of the relegation fight the media has predicted for us this term. We are a little thin on the ground in terms of quality backup - i will be looking to rectify this asap.


Overall I am relatively happy with this squad - with one or two additions, I firmly believe that relegation should not be an issue for the club this season - and once that spectre is banished, who knows what is attainable.

retired_exoticpanther33

grrr... any chance of Marlow (or another equally helpful mod finishing off the second paragraph of the above post (ending but not before...) with the following:

*hurling Mandaric's favourite silver plated Kalashnikov out of the office window and straight through the windscreen of the chairman's newly purchased Zastava.*

many thanks :thup:

retired_kimberlysmith

Were all waiting Niall......

retired_hollieo

it's ok I think we got the jist

blgstocks

[IMG]www.premierleague.com/en/images/club_normallogos_180x160/fulham.gif[/IMG]

Solid start to the season for D'Ardenne's Cottagers; Mo Illyas revealed as director of football

As you can surely garner from the headline above the first two games of the season have gone well for Fulham with 2 games being played and 2 games being won, leaving Fulham sitting pretty in second place in the table, yes behind chelski , but hey above Niall' rudderless Birmingham -who languish in 3rd. With the games being played against Newcastle and West Ham 6 points was indeed an unexpected yet welcomed surprise. But more talk of matches and results later, now on to transfers. With my squad looking a bit thin and bereft of quality, after the wholesale changes implemented some weeks earlier, i had to fill 3 main positions if i was to stand a chance in what is a very competitive league. These positions were GK, which is of course a vital position, DL-vacated by Niclas' jensens departure and DMC in which team star player, Papa Bouba Diop, had left a gap, but not by leaving the club but sustaing a major injury(damaged spine- oh dear.)

With this in mind i decided that i would take my time to find the right players due to my limited funds, with the final player being recruited 2 days before the premiership kicked off! The following players were recruited.

Players In

Johnson.E-Brondby-£2.5m(Norwegian)
An incredibly talented keeper and for once myself and the goat agreed that he is a player of some ability. At the age of 26 i feel he was a bargain and should stand us in good stead for a considerable time. He has international and european experience so i feel he can add alot to the squad, and can go some way to filling the void left by van Der Saars departure to Man Utd in the summer- with Batista coming through the ranks and Drobny who is returning from serious injury, i feel confident that we have enough in the goalkeeping department to brave the coming season.

De Cler.T-AZ Alkmaar-£2.8m(Dutch)
Tim is a high calibre full back who really emerged as a player of some ability last season during AZ succesful league campaign, and after a much mooted move to Sevilla over the summer failed to materialise i was delighted to have him aboard. He is proficient technically and is composed on the ball, as well as being a voracious tackler and im sure he will be a success in the premiership, unfortunately he is currently out injured after a goal line save against newcastele but i hope he will be back soon as we are a poorer side in his absence.

Rasmus Wurtz-AAB-£2.5m(Danish)
Now this player is someone who really excites me with his potential. You can see his quality everyday in training, he has a real Roy keane drive that is rare for one so young, but is incredibly comfortable on the ball in the manner of Pirlo. His mental stats seem spot on and i really believe that he will go on to be a world class midfielder. He already has an international cap for Denmark, which im sure he will be keen to add to, and has been impressive in the way he has handled himslef having been thrust straight into the first team due to Diop's injury. With diop possibly moving to highbury before the transfer window closes if he can win his fitness battle Wurtz will have to continue to impress if my fine start to the season can continue.

In other news Mo Illyas former manager of fulham has been taken aboard in an executive consultancy role, and has been put in charge of international scouting and youth development. D'Ardenne was delighted with this appointment indicating that he believed Mo could really bring fulham's facilities into the 21st century, however D'ardenne denied that Mo would have any influence over first team affairs asserting, to the fans relief, that the infamous 5-4-1 tactic would not be implemented.

So on to results of the 2 league matches played so far.

Fulham 1-0 Newcastle(away)

In my mind this was a difficult game to begin with, but in reality, i controlled alot of the ball and was good for my win. I had a goal disallowed after 17 minutes when Mcbride shrugged off Boumsong and planted the ball past the hapless keeper. This however did not effect my team as they continued to press and eventually the dealock was broken after 80 minuts when Mcbride ghosted past boumsong(see a pattern here) and nodded in from close range, with my team having the necessary composure to see off newcastle for a good win and a great start to the season.

Fulham 2-0 West Ham

This game was closer than the scoreline suggests with both teams having chances but without Holm, Kings men lacked incisiveness upfront, with harewood and benayoun guilty of misses, where as mcbride in the form of his life proceded to bang in 2 goals and secure the points for Fulham. John missed a few golden opportunities but he is usually a slow starter and i fully expect him to kick on once he gets his first goal. However king has strengthened well considering his poor finances(like myself) and i would be very surprised if he was relegated and fully expect him to avoid relegation. I get the feeling that the hammers will be a force at home but will struggle on there travels- but ultimately will stay up!

So with the new signings seemingly settling in well and a new found depth in the team things are looking promising for fulham right now, and with Williams gaining 4 points from 2 tough games could it be that the 2 perennial underachievers will indeed be Top-Dogs come the end of the season....i bloody hope so as it would be a riot taking the p*ss out of the rest of the clan :cool:

blgstocks

ggrrr damn the badge, its just taunting me.....could a mod please sort it out. cheers in advance :thup:

blgstocks

EPL Prediction's 2005/2006

Yes thats right ive taken it upon myself to do the prediction for the coming season, mainly because when we suggested Niall did them he was less than enthusiatic, and this should free up some time for him to spend with Mel allowing us to play more :cool:. Also as im the only person who shirked from doing them in EPL's previous incarnation, its only fair that i step into the breach....oh and im bored and can't sleep :p

So here we go, in order of numptiness:-

Niall-Birmingham-Prediction 7th
Niall will once again be hovering like the proverbial bumble bee around the european qualification positions, but will fail to consolidate early form due mostly to an inevitable injury crisis that will see him slip down the table in the early months of 2006. With birmingham he has a good team with some good players, as well as some cash so anything outside the top 10 will be considered an abject failure. Monsieur Escargot' star man- Mikael forsell- guaranteed to bang in the goals!

Pagi-Spurs-prediction-5th or 9th
Once again pagi has spurs and with easily the best squad and finances he should really be aiming for that elusive 4th champions league place, but i foresee him having to settle for a UEFA cup place, which will itleast deliver european competition to the longsuffering spurs fans. Monsieur Escargot' star man- Paul Robinson- with a midfield and strikeforce burgeoning with talent getting goals should not be a problem but stopping them will determine spurs season and in my eyes this is down to the GK.

Sam-Villa-Prediction 10th
Sam has returned to his old stomping ground but his failure so far to sign any meaningful players leads me to "underrate" his team slightly. His squad has quality but will struggle to find consistency in true villa form. With a few signings however the alleged Dr. may be able to push on for europe but i expect him to consolidate this season and push on in the future. Monsieur Escargot' star man is Milan Baros who has talent as proven by his golden boot in the european championships, but if not handled correctly will continue to be the donkey we've all come to love.

Danny-West Ham-Prediction 15th
Danny finds himself at upton park(or the boleyn ground :eek and although initially starting in an unfavourable position has demonstrated his ability to find bargains in the transfer market and has built a squad capable of staying up. He also signed most of the players ET wanted so congrats on that. He has precocious talent in his squad in benayoun and will not be short of creativity and flair in midfield and if Holm stays fit should get the goals needed for survival. Monsieur Escargot' star man- Daniel Fredheim Holm will be key and will need 20+ goals to keep the hammers in the top flight, but i firmly believe he is capable of that.

Rick-Man City-11th
The mouth from manchester has inherited a decent squad and has also improved it considerably (too many dirty scottish players for my liking). If he gets his tactics right he should have too much quality to be embroiled in the relegation battle and the depth in his team looks good. He does however have David "i model for Armani" James who will need to be consistent to ensure boult collects the points. Expect him to score goal but also concede. Monsieur Escargot' star man- Andy Cole, this man is vintage bintage and still has the ability to get 20+ goals in the prem...now why did cookie release him

Andy-Blackburn-13th
The goat will go through this first development season appearing to be embroiled in the relegation battle but never really involved in it. Expect murphy to "gloat over the goat" for the duration of the season as Andy finds the balance his team will need to push on and will finish somewhere in the bottom half of mid-table..expect excuses and harassment aplenty from the geordie lad with a fondness for youth . Monsieur Escargot' star man-Morten Gamst Pedersen...can the inspirational winger continue to be a creative force as well as registering the odd goal..i think so, also expect the goat to bleet on about his tenuous link to Norway.. i believe his current story is he once bought some Birdseye steamfesh haddock from said country.

Ligs-WBA-12th
WBA have a team that is well structured and capable if not brillieant on the eye. Don't expect any fireworks but WBA should progress under Ligs, as long as he is wary not to become embroiled in the relegation battle. Few signings have been made so far this season with ligs choosing to keep faith with his current squad- or he just has no money! Not much to say reall..solid but unspectacular! Monsieur Escargot star man- Chris kirkland- the brum scum bound keeper has the class to keep WBA in the game against more illustrious opponents and will prove crucial in the coming campaign.

Williams-charlton-8th
Im going to go out on a limb here Williams so you better not let me down! Dave has a team built by curbishley that has a good balance of graft and skill and with young Darren bent should not be short of goals. Dean kiely although getting on is still undeniably a class keeper and should save dave from sticky situations. With a few million in the kitty there is also money for dave to put his own mark on the team and i believe he could surprise everyone and do well, alternatively he may get drawn into the relegation battle but im inclined to believe that if he starts well he should have enough in the tank to be safe, if not better. Monsieur Escargot' star man- Danny Murphy- although the obvious choice was bent i believe that it is more important to provide the ammunition for the strikers and murphy has the talent and work ethic to do that, and being good with a dead ball should register alot of goals.

Ben/ET-Wigan-19th
Its all said in the odds really and with other relegation candidates being offered at 150-1 for the title and wigan being offered at 2000-1, it should prove to be a long hard season. Ben has bought well in Viduka who should provide goals upfront and there is talent in the midfield with bullard catching the eye. However defensive frailty could leave him exposed and in a shootout with most other EPL teams expect wigan to come off second best. Gabbidon was brought in to shore up the defence but unproven in the prem will have to adapt quickly if wigan are to survive. Also the creaking legs of his goalkeepers may let him down. Mosnieur escargot' star man-Mark Viduka- prolific bruising striker who should get goals even with poor service...maybe not enough to save wigan though.

Jay-Portsmouth-17th
Jay is an unproven entity and thus it is difficult to gauge how he will do this season. In pompey he has a team containing some undoubted talent but with fundamental flaws that could well set him back in his quest for survival. Also translating form from our own games to network games is a difficult task, as most of us have found out to our peril, so on paper pompey are up against it. From his first few games performances have been promising, but with no points on the board, performance counts for little....points win prizes! Monsieur Escargot' star man- Lomano Lua Lua- if the pacey attacker can take on the vacant mantle left by Yakubu, and score 20+ goals then he could save his team from the drop...i however expect him to fall short of that mark and pompey to disappear into the recesses of the championship.

Mark-(me :cool-Fulham-16th
Now im going out on a limb here by saying i will avoid the drop and others will get relegated, but i truly believe i have a team that can save me from relegation. However with itleast 2 0f Diop,Malbranque and Boa Morte expected to demand a transfer, survival will depend on how i invest and replace these players. On paper my team is reasonable with a better quality of depth than my rivals i feel that is the factor that will keep me in the premiership. Monsieur Escargot' star man- Collins John- when this lad gets going he is a predatory force and i hope he can hit the elusive 20+ mark this season.

I know it is usual to do predictions for the league cup and FA cup but i feel that this will be too close too call so little sense in making predictions in these categories. All i will say is that with Pagi's depth and quality he should challenge on all fronts so should be a force in the cups as well as Niall, the sly ofl codger, who has a knack of going on a cup run. I also predict that 1 lesser team will challenge to the latter stages in each of the cups...but havn't the foggiest who .

Vission is blurrred now and im on the verge of passing out so i thin in offski!