[retired_rover2clover]

What A Load Of Toffee

It was a quiet day at the Everton training ground, the toffee's are sitting rock bottom of the Premier League with just one win to their name and manager David Moyes had just received his P45 from Bill Kenwright due to the poor start that they had made to the premiership.

Players and fans alike were confused about what would happen at Everton Football Club next, as usual, the rumours of who will be the new manager emerged, names like van gaal and hitzfeld popped up immediately with opinions about all sorts of managers coming from all angles.

It was then announced, Everton FC will make an announcement about the managers position of their football club.

15:30 "The Conference Room"

As the press packed themselves into the conference room Bill Kenwright entered in company with two complete unknown people who then sat next to him.

Kenwright: Good afternoon all, its nice to see you all again, we are here to announce to you a caretaker manager for Everton Football Club.

A slight pause from Kenwright

Kenwright: I have great pleasure in introducing Steve Gold as our caretaker manager. We have also a translater here
so any questions you may have can be answered

Journalist: Just when it couldn't get any worse for Everton fans, it does, your bottom of the league, your an inexperienced football manager who is not even from this country and no one has ever heard about you, whats your opinion on this?

Gold: Vell I zink zat zat yur rite, I tu nut now how zis klub vill do beta viv me as trainer, me keine ahnung

Translater: He says its going to be a very difficult challenge but knows that the club will get better as he is a knowledgeable manager

Journalist: With the club already in relegation zone many are tipping now that Everton will now definately be relegated, is there anything you can say to the toffee fans that will change their mind?

Gold: I wud zai zat zey shud get tu now ze teams in ze championship as zey vill plai zem nekt saison.

Translater: he says they are not a championship team and will not be playing there next season.

Journalist: With the transfer deadline already gone your unable to bring in any players until the january transfer window, do you already have any transfer targets?

Gold: Nein, zer ar keine transfer targets, I vill nid tu see vat ze players a like firzt

Translater: Yes, I have transfer targets who I will buy first.

Journalist: Is this some kind of new cost saving for Everton Football Club?

Kenwright: No its not cost saving, we belief 100% in the capabilities of our new manager and belief he is the best man for the job, this is the start of a new era for this club and this day will be remembered for a long time to come.

The journalists then were about to raise their hands when........

Kenwright: I thank you all for coming for this great announcement for Everton football club and wish you a save journey home


Is this really the start of a new era for Everton Football Club? Well, inexperience boss Steve Gold has taken over and will certainly be aiming to try his best in his new job, Everton are 20th in the league and it really couldnt get anyworse for him, can they escape relegation? Is this the start of........The Great Escape?

More to follow......

[retired_abubaker]

Originally posted by RedStar101:
<BLOCKQUOTE>West Ham Vs Newcastle United – Sunday 17th September 2006

With a win under the Hammers belt at last, albeit in Europe, the team were now looking for a win in the league. Fellow Clan ManagerTony Hall brings his Newcastle side to The Boleyn on the back of a 4 game winning spree and keen to continue the trend. In less than a minute though the dreams of extending the wining run went out of the window as Yossi Benayoun sublimely struck home to put the home side ahead! Danny Gabbidon doubled the advantage just before the 20 minute mark and West Ham threatened to run rampant. Carlitos Tevez made it 3 shortluy after half an hour had elapsed. Nobby Solano pulled one bag for the Magpies just before the break but all hope of a come back was shattered by a poor performance from Newcastle in the second half, while West Ham went from strength to strength and sealed the game with a second from Carlitos near the end of the game. The fans celebrated their first premiership win of the season with fervour as the team took the plaudits

Final Score : West Ham 4 Newcastle United 1
West Ham Scorers : Yossi Benayoun (1) Daniel Gabbidon (18) Carlos Tevez (31, 82)
Newcastle United Scorers : Solano (42)
Attendance :35473
Man Of The Match: Carlos Tevez (West Ham)

Guys we better report this bug Tevez is actually scoring goals in the game. </BLOCKQUOTE>

FFS tony gie it a rest!!!!! It was funny once but 4546570394867039456 times later it's boring. :p

[retired_abubaker]

Mr Gold while we understand english is not your first language, please post in english on these forums thanks.

[retired_pjscott64]

Originally posted by Andy H:
<BLOCKQUOTE>Originally posted by RedStar101:
<BLOCKQUOTE>West Ham Vs Newcastle United – Sunday 17th September 2006

With a win under the Hammers belt at last, albeit in Europe, the team were now looking for a win in the league. Fellow Clan ManagerTony Hall brings his Newcastle side to The Boleyn on the back of a 4 game winning spree and keen to continue the trend. In less than a minute though the dreams of extending the wining run went out of the window as Yossi Benayoun sublimely struck home to put the home side ahead! Danny Gabbidon doubled the advantage just before the 20 minute mark and West Ham threatened to run rampant. Carlitos Tevez made it 3 shortluy after half an hour had elapsed. Nobby Solano pulled one bag for the Magpies just before the break but all hope of a come back was shattered by a poor performance from Newcastle in the second half, while West Ham went from strength to strength and sealed the game with a second from Carlitos near the end of the game. The fans celebrated their first premiership win of the season with fervour as the team took the plaudits

Final Score : West Ham 4 Newcastle United 1
West Ham Scorers : Yossi Benayoun (1) Daniel Gabbidon (18) Carlos Tevez (31, 82)
Newcastle United Scorers : Solano (42)
Attendance :35473
Man Of The Match: Carlos Tevez (West Ham)

Guys we better report this bug Tevez is actually scoring goals in the game. </BLOCKQUOTE>

FFS tony gie it a rest!!!!! It was funny once but 4546570394867039456 times later it's boring. :p </BLOCKQUOTE>

Andy, I've told you 9988476205896754859846546532464 times don't exaggerate, he only said it 546570394867039452 times

[retired_lilylovesyou10]

The Manchester City Update

It's time for another update here from Manc Land and with nothing in the bank there is no new news on the transfer side of things , so its straight onto the match reports.

League Cup 2nd Round

Luton 1 - 2 Manchester City

Going into this game as 4-7 favourites to win, but Luton are currently on form and sit nicely 2nd in the championship. But I think we have enough to see them off. It didn't take long to get underway with Samaras getting on the end of a lovely cross after 4 mins. Luton didn't learn from that goal and almost the exact same goal scored again by Samaras after 27 minutes. Into the second half and Luton are able to claw 1 back through Rowan Vine after 56 minutes. But thats all they could manage and Citeh progress to the 3rd round.

Luton Scorers: Rowan Vine (56)
Man City Scorers: Samaras (4, 27)
Attendance: 10218
MotM: Weaver (Man City)

A nice win in the cup sets us up with a 3rd round home tie against MK Dons.

Premiership

Chelsea 4 - 0 Man City

A tough away game against Chelsea now and the bookies have given us no chance of winning here. The first half looks like a different story however with the City defence looking very strong. Unfortunately the German künt Ballack grabs the go-ahead goal in the dying seconds of the first half. After half time Chelsea come out like the manager had given them a major Ballacking. Shevchenko prceeded to run riot and score a hat-trick and Citeh were nowhere to be seen.

Chelsea Scorers: Ballack (46) Shevchenko (67, 85, 91)
Attendance: 40024
MotM: Shevchenko (Chelsea)

A terrible performance there against the mighty Blues. But at the end of the day that would be classed as our hardest game of the season, so I am still upbeat about our chances. Even though we are sitting in 17th place.

Premiership

Man City 1 - 1 Blackburn

A tricky game now against Andy's Blackburn and despite the home advantage the bookies have us at 7-4 underdogs. The bookies look like they might be right as McCarthy puts Blackburn 1-0 up after only 5 minutes. But City fight back and finally grab the equaliser after 19 minutes with Samaras scoring yet another header. City were perhaps the better side in the first half with 53% possession, but it ends 1-1. Second half was fairly even with chances at both ends. But after 82 minutes Blackburn gain the advantage with Joey Barton receiving a red card. But Blackburn fail to capitalise with only a few minutes to go and it ends a draw.

Man City Scorers: Samaras (19)
Blackburn Scorers: McCarthy (5)
Attendance: 47978
MotM: Samaras (Man City)

A little break now from league action with the international qualifiers. A surprising victory for Scotland winning 4-1 at home against France.

Premiership

Sheff Utd 2 - 1 Man City

What should be an easy away tie, but the bookies have us again at 7-4 underdogs. And Sheff Utd obviously know where the danger will come from with Samaras being stretchered off after only 6 minutes. United grab the lead after 23 minutes through Webber. Just to make sure the can win Sheffield United continue to injure all of the city players with Ireland and Reyna stretchered off before half time. Just after half time and United add another through Li Tie. And to add the icing to the cake City are reduced to 10 men, not through a red card, but Beasley is the latest player to be stretchered off. Man City don't give up though and Fowler pulls one back after 79 minutes. But thats how the game ends. Sheffield United are cheating bästärdos.

Sheff Utd Scorers: Webber (23) Li Tie (49)
Man City Scorers: Fowler (79)
Attendance: 25514
MotM: Delaney (Sheff Utd)

So a poor session comes to an end with City sitting in 15th position. But I am confident we will change that soon.

[retired_bigmamma]

Session Dates: 12th & 14th December 2006

Results

Premiership

Newcastle 2 vs 1 Portsmouth
Newcastle Scorers: Damien Duff (47), Giuseppe Rossi (63)
Portsmouth Scorer: Andres Guardado (88)
Attendance: 43,680
MOM: Damien Duff (Newcastle)

Good win against Steff’s Portsmouth, Damien Duff opened the scoring in the 47th minute with a goal to earn himself a man of the match award and to show why Newcastle saved him from the sidelines at Chelsea. Rossi scored another goal for Newcastle before Guardado scored a late consolation goal for Portsmouth.

Euro Cup
1st Round 2nd Leg

Derry City (1)1 vs 3(8) Newcastle
Derry City Scorers: Chris Collins (68)
Newcastle Scorers: Albert Luque (51) Chris Collins own goal (52) & Antoine Sibierski (64)
Attendance: 8,162
MOM: Kieron Dyer (Newcastle)

Merely a formality playing this match as the game was put beyond doubt in the 1st leg but I felt a few more goals were needed and so goals from Luque, Siberski and a own goal from Chris Collins before he put the ball into the right net for a late consolation was enough to see Newcastle go through comprehensive winners.

Premiership

Middlesbrough 1 vs 1 Newcastle
Middlesbrough Scorer: Jason Euell (9)
Newcastle Scorer: Obafemi Martins (42)
Attendance: 35,044
MOM: Steven Taylor (Newcastle)

Middlesbrough started the match well and scored the first goal before Martins equalised just before half time. Second half was a tight affair but neither team could create anything.

Newcastle 2 vs 0 Reading
Newcastle Scorers: Anthony Gardner (6) & Obafemi Martins (36)
Attendance: 43,695
MOM: Anthony Gardner (Newcastle)

Great performance against my old side with Anthony Gardner scoring his first Newcastle goal and getting the MOM award. Martins completed the score line with a great shot.

Newcastle 3 vs 1 Watford
Newcastle Scorers: Belozoglu Emre (20), Obafemi Martins (69) & Steven Taylor (90)
Watford Scorer: Marlon King (31)
Attendance: 45,210
MOM: Celestine Babayaro (Newcastle)
Red Cards: Darius Henderson (Watford) (16)
Newcastle Injury: Damien Duff (36)

Great game and Martins goal was a scorcher from 30 yards out. Emre started the scoring after Henderson got a straight red card for elbowing. However the ten man team managed to equalise. After the Break Martins scored the best goal so far in the season followed by a Goal from Steven Taylor who is performing great this season.

Euro Cup
1st Match Group Phase

Newcastle 1 vs 2 Palermo
Newcastle Scorers: Obafemi Martins (37)
Palermo Scorers: David Di Michele (7) & Amauri (88)
Attendance: 46,351
MOM: David Di Michele (Palermo)
Newcastle Injury: Scott Parker (54)
Red Cards: Belozoglu Emre (Newcastle) (84)

Not a very good start to the group phase. It was looking like I could achieve a draw against the match favourites until an act of stupidity from Emre got him a red card enabling Amauri to score a late winner.

Premiership

Tottenham 4 vs 2 Newcastle
Tottenham Scorers: Dimitar Berbatov (Pen 4 & 74), Didier Zokora (25) & Luka Modric (88)
Newcastle Scorers: James Milner (38) & Damien Duff (79)
Attendance: 36,250
MOM: Clint Dempsey (Tottenham)
Red Cards: Benoit Assou-Ekotto (Tottenham) (81)

2nd defeat in a row after such a good run means I have to look at my tactics again. Newcastle played absolutely crap in my view, Babayaro conceded the early penalty to gift Rob’s spurs side an early goal before Zokora added the second. We managed to pull one back before half time through a James Milner goal however after the break things went from bad to worse as Berbatov added a second goal to his tally after his penalty strike before we got our second goal via Damien Duff. Even when Spurs had a player off we weren’t able to equalise and they made us pay with a 4th goal to finish off the match.

League Cup 3rd Round

Hereford 1 vs 3 Newcastle (AET)
Hereford Scorer: Andrew Williams (45)
Newcastle Scorers: Obafemi Martins (4), Shola Ameobi (101) & Albert Luque (120)
Attendance: 6,470
MOM: Albert Luque (Newcastle)

Good win, I decided to give the youngsters a run out and although they couldn’t finish off Hereford in normal time they certainly did the job in Extra Time, its good to see that I have a few future stars to rise from the academy ranks.

Premiership

Newcastle 1 vs 1 Man City
Newcastle Scorer: Giuseppe Rossi (90)
Man City Scorer: Sylvain Distin (12)
Attendance: 52,348
MOM: Steven Taylor (Newcastle)

Very lucky to get a draw due to the possibility the equaliser was offside but hey who am I to complain. Newcastle did play crap but a point is better than nothing.

Euro Cup
2nd Match Group Phase

Austria Wien 0 vs 0 Newcastle
Attentance: 8,471
MOM: Thomas Wallner (Austria Wien)

A bore draw and things are now getting desperate, we need a win to get us to the next round. Newcastle just couldn’t hit the target in a match they controlled most of the time.

Premiership

Wigan vs Newcastle
Wigan Scorers: Svetoslav Todorov (33) & Lee McCulloch (90)
Newcastle Scorers: Belozoglu Emre (24) & Obafemi Martins (31)
Attendance: 22,242
MOM: Chris Kirkland (Wigan)

Unbelievable, I ask them to do one thing in the second half and that is defend and they just can’t do that, the score line should have been a 2-1 victory, instead it’s a 2-2 draw because the defence surrendered.

League Cup 4th Round

Reading 2 vs 1 Newcastle
Reading Scorers: Ki-Hyeon Seol (4), Dean Whitehead (61)
Newcastle Scorer: Giuseppe Rossi (Pen 45)
Attendance: 6,776
MOM: James Milner (Newcastle)

Absolute rubbish, Newcastle can’t seem to win a match if their lives depended on it. I have to do something to stop the rot but unfortunately mister Stingy, aka Freddy Shepherd, won’t open his wallet to allow me to strengthen the team.

Premiership Position at the end of sessions: 5th

[retired_pjscott64]

West Ham enter a brave new era – The rouchie years

September saw a vast improvement in the fortunes of West Ham, recording their first wins in the league and progression to the group stage of the UEFA cup. For the month of October Rouch will be looking for a continued improvement in the sides form and to start moving the club aeway from the bottom end of the table, while also securing points in the European campaign to work towards qualifying for the knockout stages in the new year.

West Ham Vs Man Utd– Monday 2nd October 2006

After a fantastic comeback in the Emirates Stadium against Arsenal in their last league outing West Ham were to face the mighty red devils, but again upset the odds, grabbing an unlikely win with surprising ease! A tight first half was marred by the withdrawal of Ashton midway through but his substitute, Carlton Cole made the most of his opportunity and scred 8 minutes after the restart to really rattle the boys in red (playing in white) United tried in vain to get back on level terms but West Ham held firm (sound familiar anyone?) and in the dying minutes of injury time, sprung a superb counter attack which gave Lee Bowyer he honour of tucking away the winning goal which left united with no way back. The Boleyn erupted with a cacophony of noise as the fans celebrated a fine win when the ref finally blew his whistle, and everyone wearing the claret and blue left the stadium with a huge grin on their faces and a spring in their step.

Final Score : West Ham 2 Man Utd 0
West Ham Scorers : Cole (53) Bowyer(90)
Attendance : 35486
Man Of The Match: Matthew Etherington (West Ham)

Bolton Vs West Ham – Saturday 14th October 2006

With the hammers on something approaching a run now, a trip to Bolton’s Reebok Stadium seemed a lot less intimidating than it would have done in the winless month of August! Fat Sam and his merry bunch of mercenaries were unable to halt West Hams impressive form, and Tevz was in lethal form with a great strike in the first 15 minutes to set up the lead, and despite the teams dominance West Ham had to wait for the 90th minute (again!) to settle the nerves with a second, from Tevez again. A perfect fillip for th upcoming UEFA cup group match against German Giants Leverkeusen in midweek! :thup:

Final Score : Bolton 0 West Ham 2
West Ham Scorers : Tevez(14, 90)
Attendance : 28462
Man Of The Match: Anton Ferdinand (West Ham)

Leverkusen Vs West Ham –Wednesday 18th October 2006 – UEFA Cup Group F

The opening game in a very tough group for the Hammers and an away trip to the German giants Leverkusen, but West Ham were in winning ways and the trend continued with a fine win and a most enjoyable night for the loyal fans who travelled to the game, and those watching from the armchairs back home too! West Ham oozed class from start to finish and controlled the game with passing that has been the trademark of West Ham over the years! This combined with the lethal finishing that Tevez showed on 14 minutes to put the Hammers ahead meant that The Irons were rarely troubled on this cold clear night. “Phil” Spector grabbed a rare but deserved goal before the break to double the visiting sides advantage. Ashton sealed his comeback from injury with the third which left the Hammers top of this group of death after the first round of games

Final Score : Bolton 0 West Ham 2
West Ham Scorers : Tevez(14) Spector (39) Ashton (69)
Attendance : 18514
Man Of The Match: Carlitos Tevez (West Ham)

West Ham Vs Everton – Saturday 21st October 2006

Back to the premiership and back to the familiar surroundings of Upton Park and another packed house was present for the visit of fellow Clan Manager Goldy and his Everton side. Dean Ashton wasted no time putting the home side ahead just 3 minutes after the ref had blown for the kick off! Matthew Etherington scored the second just 3 minutes later, people were already doing the math and predicting a 15-0 score for half time! Goldy however, astute tactician that he is soon spotted where West hams players were making their runs and reshuffled the team. This brought immediate results when on the 10th minute James Beattie pulled one back for the blue noses, the unassailable lead was pegged back just over 10 minutes later when Beattie scored again to level the match. AT half time Rouch encouraged the team and told Tevez that he could make the difference in this game and the team came out fighting in the second half and Carlitos Tevez did indeed make the difference as he slotted home what turned out to be the winner just 6 minutes after the restart, despite Evertons efforts to haul themselves back in to the game again, West Ham hung on and the three points were theirs

Final Score : West Ham 3 Everton 2
West Ham Scorers : Ashton (3) Etherington(6) Tevez (51)
Everton Scorers : Beattie (10, 21)
Attendance : 35475
Man Of The Match: Matthew Etherington (West Ham)

West Ham Vs Man Utd – Wednesday 25th October 2006 – Carling Cup 3rd Round

A tough draw for West Ham’s first Carling Up game, but after the recent win over the Red Devils confidence was high, but ultimately the game was decided by the lottery of a penalty shoot out after neither side could break the deadlock and had played 120 minutes of goal less football! Man of the Match James Collins missed the opening penalty for West Ham and that was enough to see united through as they converted all five from the spot not letting the hammers back in at all and sending the irons crashing out of the competition

Final Score : West Ham 0 Man Utd 0 (4-5 on Pens)
Attendance : 35470
Man Of The Match: James Collins (West Ham)

Fulham Vs West Ham –Saturday 28th October 2006

After the disappointment of the cup it was back to the bread and butter of the league, but after a closely fought and evenly matched first half it all fell apart in the second with Fulham netting 4 times, including two in injury time to give the result a very lopsided look! :thdn:
Final Score : Fulham 4 West Ham 0
Fulham Scorers : Knight(60) Collins (67) Radzinski (90) Jensen (90)
Attendance : 22482
Man Of The Match: Zat Knight (Fulham)

So overall a good month but with a poor end losing in the cup and getting hammered in the premiership! Now sitting in 10th spot and looking at climbing into contention for one of the European slots at the end of the season but a lot of work (and some buying and selling) will need to be done to get there

[Curvature]

Merry Christmas all hope you all have a good one

[retired_kotikaka]

Originally posted by US ARSENAL:
Merry Christmas all hope you all have a good one

You too !

Hope you had a good yin !


Jingle bells Jingle bells Jingle All the way oh what fun it is to *u*k the Hibs on Boxing Day !

[retired_abubaker]

Merry Christmas lads, hope you all had a cool day.