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The Newcastle Board met to discuss how to right their floundering ship. After several fruitless hours of discussion it was decided that nobody really had a clue how a club with both financial strength and fanatical fan support could achieve so little.
“Let’s just turn everything over to Shearer, if we put him in charge of a rebuilding effort the supporters will give us a few years grace at least” opined one sage chairman.
“Wouldn’t that make all of us superfluous, besides he’s still playing and there is no way a club of the stature of the mighty Newcastle United can have a player manager, we’d be a laughing stock!” challenged another.
And this is how a manager from the football backwater of Canada was handed the reigns of Newcastle. I possessed all the traits the board was looking for, an anonymous, cool, analytical manager who would complement their true desired candidate, Alan Shearer, by providing a little structure while largely staying out of the way.
I, of course, arrogant in my managing abilities think that I bring a little more to the table but that would of course be determined over the course of the season.
Season Expectations
After my introduction to a highly dubious group of media and supporters, Alan and I had our first meeting as “co-managers” of Newcastle.
“So Alan, what are your expectations for the club this season?” I naively opened.
“To win the quadruple of course!” replied Alan.
“Um Alan, if we win one trophy it will be more than the club has one since I was born…”
As our discussion continued my role became clearer and clearer. While Alan is a brilliant player and magnificent leader, his passion for the club can sometimes cause him to lose touch with reality. After a lot of discussion, and the board weighing in on my behalf, the realistic goal of European qualification for next season and advancing beyond the group stage of the Uefa cup was agreed to.
Tactics
When our conversation turned to tactics, Alan was surprisingly co-operative.
“I want to score goals, put me in front of the net and pass me the ball” was his contribution to the discussion.
I favour a 442 diamond formation in general and will apply it at Newcastle. The mentality will be attacking with a high tempo and relatively short passing. Hopefully, we will play an attractive attacking brand of football that will excite the fans and inspire players to want to come play for us. The defensive midfielder will be essential in both supporting a traditionally fragile back four (though I will strive to improve their quality) and in supporting the attacking play.
Over the course of the next few weeks, Alan and I discussed the merits, or the relative lack thereof, of the squad. In an effort to give us every chance to succeed, the board provided a handsome transfer budget in excess of 15 million pounds; however, before Alan and I got to blowing their largesse we had to assess our current assets.
In general Alan and I had very similar thoughts on what we wanted out of the players…strong fundamentals, tough mentally, a good no-nonsense work ethic, and consistent teamwork. With this in mind we set about discussing the squad.
Keepers:
One thing we have is quality between the posts.
Shay Given- Good solid keeper
Steven Harper – Quality reserve
Defence
Given the recent history of leaking goals, I am not too optimistic about the quality of the back four. Alan also piped in “If I got to play against our defence every week I’d score 50 goals a season…”
Aaron Hughes (D RLC)
Versatile, good physical attributes, solid but unspectacular, substitutes bench
Andy O’Brien (DC)
Strong in the air, good positioning, lack of acceleration is worrying, back-up
Celestine Babayaro (D/DM L)
Weak in the air, fast, decent attacking player, starting LB
Jean-Alain Boumsong (DC)
Core of the defence, powerful but a little immobile, starting CD
Robbie Elliot (D LC)
Poor overall, reserve at best
Stephen Carr (DR)
Weak in the air, strong going forward, good mentality, starting RB
Steven Taylor (DC)
Young but already solid, future star, careful to avoid burn-out, starting CD
Titus Bramble (DC)
Generally poor, back-up at best
Midfield
I expected a group of young, energetic creative individuals that would require little investment. I am quite disappointed overall. Alan commented that “the clubs policy of investing in potential is all well and good but it might be nice to have a few players who actually know how to play the game and could contribute before the end of the decade”. On several occasions the terms “soft”, “lazy”, and “in need of help” were also heard to escape from his mouth.
Jermaine Jenas (AM RC)
Brilliant all round, starting AM, first..oops sorry Alan, second name on the team sheet
Laurent Robert (AM L)
Fantastic technique but horrible work ethic and defensive skills, transfer listed
Kieron Dyer(AM RC)
Pacey winger, total head-case, transfer listed
Amdy Moustapha Faye (DM C)
Physical force, defensive rock, more influence would be nice, starting DM
Lee Bowyer(AM RC)
Versatile, decent all round skills, disruptive influence, transfer listed
James Milner(AM RC)
Good potential, offers zero defensively, back-up AM
Darren Ambrose (AM RL)
Good physically, surprisingly balanced skills for a youngster, starting RM
Nicky Butt (DM C)
Solid, unspectacular, hard worker, good teamwork, back-up DM
Jamie McClen(M C)
Poor overall, transfer listed
Alan O'Brien(AM L)
Undeveloped youngster, moved to reserves
Strikers
Will always be full of goals with Alan leading the line. Need to add depth and youth.
Alan Shearer
What can you say? The heart and soul of the team, first name on the team sheet. An alarming lack of pace and acceleration …”don’t scowl at me Alan, you know its true”
Craig Bellamy
Great potential but not worth the trouble, transfer listed
Michael Chopra
Decent future prospect, not ready to contribute, loan out
Patrick Kluivert
Capable of brilliance, too often lazy and selfish, starting SC
Shola Ameobi
Good physical stats, needs to develop skills to match, back-up
Next installment, Alan and I hold a garage sale and go shopping.
Hi everyone, I appreciate the feedback, it's good to know someone is reading. Anyway, back to our story...
Transfer Discussion
First off, in light of our determination to foster team spirit and a desire to fight for your squad mates (not against them) Bellamy, Dyer, Bowyer, and Robert were immediately transfer listed.
“Bargain Hunter Alert – slightly used footballers - all must go - no reasonable offer will be refused”
Hopefully this garage sale will net us another 10-15 million quid to spend on players who are actually useful.
As a result, the midfield of the team is being gutted rather than the defence I had anticipated improving.
Transfer Listed:
Bellamy, Dyer, Bowyer, Robert, McClen
On the upside, Alan and I now get to go on a shopping spree with our 25-30 million pounds. There was real delight in Alan’s eye when we finally went out and began to put our stamp on what would hopefully be a rapidly rising club.
“So Alan, where should we spend, sorry…invest, our money?”
“I was thinking that we should add some solid English blood to the club, how about a double swoop for Terry and Lampard, perhaps even make a run at Gerrard?”
“Um Alan, how are you math skills? I agree these are all quality players but aren’t they a little out of our price range?” and here is where I made yet another blunder “besides, I don’t think that they would be interested in joining Newcastle”
After a four hour diatribe on the many virtues of our glorious club and numerous profuse apologies on my part, we tried again.
“So Alan, where should we invest our money?”
“30 million divided by 4-5 players gives us about 6-7 million per…how’s my math now wise-guy? Anyway, I hear a lot of chatter on the FM forum about this Bierofka guy who can play on the left side, I even hear he comes cheap!”
“Excuse me Alan, the FM forum?”
“Oh, it’s a forum for this managerial simulator I have been practicing on, you didn’t think they would hand over the reigns of a big club to someone without managerial experience, at least of the pretend type, did you?”
I had to concede the point to Alan, spending countless hours on a managerial simulation seemed to be a good use of time.
Anyway, after seriously debating the merits of various candidates, we narrowed the list to a couple at each of our need positions. Ideally, we would build England’s midfield of the future right here at St. James Park by attempting to acquire Stuart Downing (cash + Bowyer + Robert) and Shaun Wright-Phillips (cash + Bellamy + Dyer). A back-up option if that didn’t work would be Dede on the left (approx 10 million) and Sneijder on the right (6 million). We will also be perusing the transfer list for bargains. I also conceded the point to Alan and made an offer for Bierofka. Finally, seeking to add depth cheaply I made offers to Mokoena and Vanden Borre.
Then talk turned to the purchase of a new striker. Being an expert on the subject, Alan had a lot to say.
“I’m playing every game so I don’t really think we should blow our cash on a striker so that you have someone to chat to on the bench while I’m out there actually earning my money”
“Now Alan, we are entered in four competitions this year, you can’t possibly play every minute, besides… you aren’t getting any younger, what happens if you get hurt?”
As these last words left my mouth I realised I may have made an error; judging by the look in Alan’s eyes my imminent demise was at hand.
“*!*!#$*# *#(@)#( #*@*@ …. And if you ever think of substituting me I’ll kick your #@$ back across the pond.”
Well, I had survived the exchange but not necessarily won the argument. How could I convince him to come around to my way of thinking? In my most humble voice I noted
“Alan, if I don’t buy another striker you do realise that I might have to play Bellamy?”
After another string of expletives Alan conceded that perhaps strengthening the strike force wouldn’t be so bad…that said, I am not really looking forward to the first time I remove Alan from the game (certainly to save his strength for future challenges, not because he wasn’t performing up to snuff)
Anyway, we decided to hold off on making offers for strikers until our midfield was sorted out and we knew how much we had left to spend.
In Tommorrow's Installment - The Preseason (it may take a couple of days, Champions League football to watch after work the next two evenings)
Originally posted by glory_dayz_r_here:
tell u what it is hard with newcastle especially in 1st season with chelsea, arsenal and man u spending plenty but with the right tactics it is possible.....
finding the champs lge and league bak 2 bak games difficult but some how managed to beat the big teams away, lost 2 games at home but undefeated on the road!! pretty gud!!
managing england at the same time trying to win the world cup!!
Text speak isn't tolerated in this forum. (for your information)
After what seemed like an eternity of discussion and planning, it was finally time to get my team on the field to see what it could do. A four game tour of Turkey had been planned prior to my arrival and it seemed to be a good way to get away with the team to prepare for the upcoming season. Four games is a little less preparation than I would like to have to install a new system but it also meant less chance for injury.
The individual details of the games are not as relevant as the lessons learned. I must say that I was both pleasantly surprised and somewhat concerned with the Turkey trip. Conceding just one goal in four games was a splendid defensive record and a good foundation upon which to build; however, failing to score in three games was not so promising. Furthermore, I just wasn’t generating the number of chances that I would have liked. I was at something of a loss, did I need to rethink my tactics?
Alan’s experience was invaluable as he calmed my jittery nerves and preached patience. He also pointed out that a more aggressive attitude from the wingers might help to alleviate the dearth of service he had been receiving.
While we were in Turkey, I began to make inquiries into to strengthening the squad.
First offers:
Wright-Phillips: 10 m + Dyer + Bellamy
Downing5 m + Robert + Bowyer
Bierofka350K
The offers for the two rising English stars were rejected out of hand, while the Bierofka offer was quickly accepted and he soon signed. Unfortunately there was no interest in our transfer listed players to which Alan replied “I’m not surprised, it’s not like we want them why should anyone else?”
Then, late one evening Steve McClaren called me up and said that he might be willing to take Bellamy off my hands for the right price. I quickly countered that I was a great admirer of Downing and wondered if he would consider an exchange if I kicked in 3 million pounds or so. After careful consideration (though I’m not sure how careful since he eventually agreed) Steve said we had a deal.
I was on cloud nine, Stewart Downing for 3 million pounds and I get rid of Bellamy? It really seemed too good to be true. I quickly ran next door to Alan’s hotel room to share our good fortune. (Note to self, do not knock on a footballers door at 3 in the morning, there is simply no good outcome that can ensue). Anyway, Alan eventually forgave my interruption due largely to the fact that he was almost as excited as me.
After surprisingly quick negotiations for Wesley Sneijder (6.5 m + 30% sell on), Geremi (3 m), a second failed run at Wright-Phillips, and the sale of Dyer (3 m) to Southampton the squad began to take shape.
Then catastrophe in the form a spoiled Welsh striker abruptly brought my managerial honeymoon period to an end. Steve McClaren called me up to say that the club had been unable to agree a contract with Bellamy and “I was welcome to the ungrateful ***. I do not recall what then ensued but a half hour later I came to my senses to find a surprising amount of damage had been done to my hotel room. Then I made the best decision of my life and called Alan’s room to deliver the news rather than doing so in person. Needless to say, the club had to pay the hotel for massive damages to two rooms and the team was kindly asked to leave and never return.
We returned to England to begin final preparations for the season. As of yet no other enquiries into our transfer listed players had been made and their inflated salaries remaining on the payroll caused the board to limit my ability to offer a contract to Cavenaghi, which ultimately cost me his services. Bellamy was not only destroying the spirit in my squad he was now single-handedly responsible for crushing my attempts to bring in new players.
I still have 10m pounds in the transfer budget but will wait until I clear out some of the salary since I am already over budget. There are bound to be some January bargains available. Up next…the season begins and Alan is substituted off for the first (and possibly last) time.
GKGiven (Harper)
DLBabayaro (Elliot)
DCBoumsong (Bramble)
DCTaylor (O’Brien)
DRCarr (Hughes)
DMButt (Faye)
LMBierofka (Robert)
RMSneijder (Geremi)
AMJenas (Bowyer)
STShearer (Ameobi)
STKluivert (Chopra)
[yes I know Bellamy is better than Chopra but he will ROT in the reserves until someone is foolish enough to take him off my hands]
Tottenham 0 – 0 Newcastle
I stuck with my 4-4-2 diamond and am content with an away draw. I was outshot 12 –5 but good chances were scarce. Given put in a good performance.
Newcastle 2 – 2 Liverpool
The wingers were given more attacking freedom in a slightly modified diamond. Morientes notched 2 goals in a vintage performance but Bierofka was a force flying down the left wing creating goals for Kluivert and Sneijder. All and all, an entertaining game.
Everton 0 – 1 Newcastle
Back to my more defensive diamond for away games and it pays off with a win. Taylor and Boumsong were dominant in the air keeping life simple for Given and Kluivert provided that little bit of magic that pulled out the win.
Alan struggled for the third straight game with his lack of pace causing him to be run down from behind on several occasions. I did the unthinkable at half time and he was substituted for Ameobi. If I was expecting an explosion I was sadly mistaken, he calmly sat down next to me on the bench and he cheered wildly along with the rest of us when Patrick netted the game winner. I believe I may have vastly underestimated my co-manager. His professionalism and quiet support of me by accepting his place on the bench make me think that this could be a long and fruitful partnership. Sure he tore me a new one once we were in private but the leadership he displays both on and off the pitch will be essential to any success we achieve this season.
Tactical Musings
Alan and I sat down together after the Everton match to discuss the state of the team. While the results had been good so far, the team just didn’t seem to be clicking. Like the Turkey trip, our Premiership start had exhibited strong defence but very limited attacking. I really wasn’t confident that we were outplaying the other squads (overall we had been outshot 3-1 in the first three games) as much as benefiting from a wee bit of Irish luck in the form of Shay Given.
On top of that Alan was growing increasingly frustrated with the lack of service he was receiving. Now Alan is a quality finisher but he is not exactly the sort to create a goal for himself out of nothing. Alan noted that there were several periods over the last few games where he “might as well have been enjoying a pint at home for all he was seeing of the ball.”
Furthermore, we also had a personnel problem. It looked as if Bowyer and Robert would be going nowhere in the near future and there just wasn’t enough salary space in the budget to add a new quality striker. As a result, we had a surplus of midfielders and an alarming lack of depth up front.
Finally, after watching Everton play, I was inspired to experiment with a pressing, fluid 4-5-1 that attacks as a 4-3-3. This might help us take advantage of our quality target men and midfield depth.
Humble Pie
Since it seemed we would be hanging onto Robert and Bowyer, at least until January, I thought it best to set a meeting to clear the air between us. In order to prevent heated comments from Alan from disrupting what I hoped would be an amicable reconciliation I decided to talk to them on my own.
In a moment of sheer perversity, I asked Alan to have a chat with Bellamy about his future role on the team. Alan and I had already agreed that not only would Craig never play for the first team squad again, as punishment for his sins he would only be played as a right midfielder for the reserves. Alan took to the idea of this conversation cheerfully and practically skipped down the hall to his meeting.
Anyway, I called a sulky Robert and somewhat belligerent Bowyer into my office for our little chat.
Me:You both have a right to be somewhat disgruntled with your treatment so far. I apologise for any slight you may have felt and hope we can turn things around.
Robert: Tu ne sais rien de le foot. Tu me mets sur la liste de transferts pour un petit somme de 2.5 millions de livres! Je suis plus important que ca!
Me :Robert, speak English please.
Bowyer: He said you were a useless excuse for a manger who the board should consider replacing at the first opportunity.
Me: Lee, he seemed to say a lot more than that, are you sure that’s what he said?
Bowyer: You know how French is, it takes forever to say anything.
Robert: Monsieur, donne moi un nouveau opportunite, Je promis de faire un meilleur effort!
Bowyer : He said that he will be here long after you are tossed out on your butt.
Me:Lee, I think that you might be putting words into his mouth.
Bowyer: You’re right, I cleaned it up for him. What he really said is that you are a **#*$ who needs to *%*$#
Me: Lee, you do realise that I am Canadian and speak French right?
Bowyer: Sorry, maybe I misheard him. Personally, I think you’re doing a fantastic job and I’m lucky to have the opportunity to work with you.
The two left the meeting promising to prove themselves in training. As the duo left my office, Alan entered with a big grin. He joyously informed me that Craig had stormed out after Alan’s news had been delivered and would miss today’s training session. A fine of two weeks wages was immediately issued. We also decided that Alan would meet with Craig every two weeks to ensure similar such outbursts as a creative way to reduce our wage budget.
All in all a successful off day. Up next : The new tactic, am I a tactical genius or guilty of Ranieri-like tinkering?
Co-Managing with Alan Shearer 
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