retired_nikoo

The Run-in

After the league cup defeat, a lot of life went out of the season and Alan in particular. We really just seemed to be playing out a string of games with little meaning since by this point we were part of a breakaway pack of four teams 11 points clear of fifth place. Unfortunately, we were fourth in this group and the other three possessed a form that was not going to let them be caught. As a result, the focus shifted to blooding the youngsters with Mokoena, Ameobi, and Milner playing increasingly large roles. We also tried some tactical experimentation with a 4411 and reverting to the diamond on occasion. In the end our 4-5-1 performed the best and would remain the tactic of choice, though the diamond might be used from time to time next season.

Final Standings

Pos Inf Team Pld Won Drn Lst For Ag G.D. Pts
1st C Arsenal 38274795365985
2nd Man Utd 38258577245383
3rd Chelsea 38238762372577
4th Newcastle 382012656263072
5th Portsmouth 3818101049371264
6th Blackburn 38187135147461
7th Liverpool 381317851381356
8th Middlesbrough 38159146161054
9th Tottenham 3813141141301153
10th Man City 381212144952-348
11th Southampton 381212144756-948
12th Fulham 381113145162-1146
13th Everton 38129174750-345
14th Charlton 381012164754-742
15th Aston Villa 38813174668-2237
16th Bolton 38910194163-2237
17th West Brom 3899203052-2236
18th R Birmingham 3899203457-2336
19th R Norwich 3899202858-3036
20th R Crystal Palace 3865273792-5523

Squad Performance

Keepers

Like I said at the beginning of the season “One thing we have is quality between the posts.”

Shay GivenApp: 46(0) Rat: 7.37
That wee bit of Irish luck we needed. Fantastic shot stopper who carried us at times.

Steven Harper App: 2(0) Rat: 6.00
Not given a real chance. Will join Fulham next season.

Defence
I will admit that I vastly underestimated this group. Our stalwart defence was the key to our success this season.

Aaron Hughes App: 17(4) Rat: 7.24
Versatile defender who filled in admirably across the back-line, playing in every defensive position.

Andy O’Brien App: 15(0) Rat: 7.37
Was solid throughout but didn’t get too many opportunities. Will continue as a valuable rotation member next season.

Celestine Babayaro App: 35(0) Rat: 7.26, 2 assists
Virtually invisible for most of the season but did his job. Less offence than I expected.

Jean-Alain Boumsong App: 40(0) Rat: 7.30, 2 goals
Core of the defence, powerful in the air, solid throughout the season. Gave away a couple of penalties but that’s just nit-picking.

Stephen Carr App: 35(0) Rat: 7.43, 2 assists
Spectacular season. The only squad member to make the Premiership team of the year. Despite similar numbers to Babayaro, he was much more prominent, frequently making key interventions.

Steven Taylor App: 38(0) Rat: 7.24
Extremely consistent performer. Needed a little rest near the end of the season but an impressive performance by the youngster.

Paul Stalteri App: 6(1) Rat: 7.00
Did what was asked of him but didn’t overly impress. He missed a lot of time at the Gold Cup shortly after his signing.

Midfield

Unfortunately, we were unable to got rid of some of the malcontents (Robert, Bowyer) as originally planned. That said, both performed well in the end. Like the defence, the midfield exceeded expectations.

Jermaine Jenas 37(3) Rat: 7.38 Goals: 6 Assists : 10
Started the season slowly but was dominant in the second half. Very balanced midfielder, offering plenty in both offence and defence. Still very young, the best is surely yet to come.

Laurent Robert 15(0) Rat: 7.33 Goals: 3 Assists : 6
Definitely exceeded my expectations and was an effective back-up. Lacked Bierofka’s dribbling ability that created so many chances but was lethal with the dead-ball.

Wesley Sneijder 36(3) Rat: 7.26 Goals:11 Assists : 10
The only member of the team that regularly provided moments of magic thorough exquisite passes and spectacular shots. Average rating was far below my impression but likely had to do with his defensive shortcomings. Will likely play on the wing more next season.

Amdy Moustapha Faye 28(2) Rat: 7.43 Goals: 2 Assists : 4
The quietly dominant performer of the year. Rarely did the exceptional but even more rarely made mistakes. The unsung hero of our defensive effort and the downturn in form the club suffered during his 3 month injury was not coincidence.

Lee Bowyer17(19) Rat: 7.19 Goals: 2 Assists : 4
For someone I wanted to be rid of, he sure featured a lot. Useful reserve but never made a big impact. Will hopefully receive less time next year.

James Milnerin reserves by season’s end
A huge disappointment who had no impact on any game in which he played. Will be transfer listed and only play again in direst emergency.

Darren Ambrose 26(2) Rat: 7.38 Goals: 7 Assists : 4
A very pleasant surprise this season. Forced his way past Geremi part way through the season through solid defensive play and a good eye for goal. Training staff remarked on his dramatic improvement during the year. Definitely one for the future.

Nicky Butt 18(8) Rat: 7.15 Goals: 0 Assists : 0
Decent showing but no more than that. He really paled in comparison to Faye’s performance in the same role. May stick around for one more season but only as a back-up.

Daniel Bierofka 31(2) Rat: 7.45 Goals: 4 Assists : 14
Consistently created chances by flying down the left wing. Early season form was impeccable but fell off toward the end. Despite having the highest average rating in the squad I’m not as impressed as it would seem I should be. I can’t pinpoint why.

Geremi 24 (13) Rat: 6.92 Goals: 4 Assists : 5
The absolute opposite of Bierofka; I rate him far more highly than his average rating. Was powerful in the air and solid defensively. Filled the holding midfield role when both Butt and Faye were out injured, and helped out at right back for the injured Carr.

Strikers

Overall, this is the one area of the club that I was the least impressed with. Nobody really stood out and created goals on a regular basis.

Alan Shearer 25 (10) Rat: 7.17 Goals: 11 Assists: 1
The fans pick for player of the year. Did do a lot of hard work as the lone striker but has to be disappointed overall. A cup specialist; more than half his tally came in cup games, leaving his league tally woefully short for the lead striker.

Patrick Kluivert 19 (9) Rat: 7.29 Goals: 13 Assists: 4
Very up and down play but finished as the club’s top scorer. Wanted too much money to stay and will be playing elsewhere next season. Appearances declined rapidly as the season went on and the youngsters played more.

Shola Ameobi 5 (10) Rat: 7.00 Goals: 1 Assists: 0
Very disappointing season. Griped about being in reserves but did nothing to justify inclusion in the first team. Still is young and has incredible potential so he will likely get a shot again next season.

Lebohang Mokoena 5 (15) Rat: 7.20 Goals: 3 Assists: 0
Very promising first season for the youngster. He even played a little midfield but that really won’t be a long-term phenomenon. Has a bright future and will play a more prominent role next season.

Closing Comments

Alan and I sat down to assess our first season at the helm together. The board was delighted with the performance but how did we feel about our efforts?

Me: Overall, I think we had a pretty good season. We installed a new system, created a new defensive resiliency, developed the youngsters, made the finals of the League cup, and finished fourth in the league.

Alan: We didn’t win a trophy. We crashed out of the UEFA cup and FA cup to inferior opposition. We could have done more.

Me: True, true, but we’ll push forward next season.

Alan: I’m not getting any younger you know…

Me: We did have some great moments though, I think the 22-game undefeated run will stick with me in particular.

Alan: My hat-trick against Sunderland in the league cup was a sublime experience, but the 1-0 defeat in the final was a devastating blow.

Me: I think crashing out of the UEFA cup in the first round was the low-point for me. That said, it probably helped us focus on the league, which did pay dividends.

Alan: I can’t believe that I didn’t score in league play until January.

Me: Yeah, that sucked.

Alan: Thanks for the support…

Me: We did alright and the future looks bright. Let’s see if we can get you a trophy next year.

Alan: Trophy? Singular? I expect to win the quad next season…

Well, I guess some things never change. It has been an eventful year at the helm of Newcastle. I’ve learned a lot, suffered my share of highs and lows,and had a blast. Now that the season is over I think I’ll go visit the in-laws. They must have forgiven me for their cup defeat by now right? Well, if I’m never heard from again you know what happened…

retired_nikoo

Season 2

I needed a break from the pressures of my first season at the helm of Newcastle, so I took a little holiday until the end of June. I had told Alan to keep an eye on things while I was gone but apparently he didn’t take me seriously. “How much damage can the ass man do in the offseason before the transfer window opens?”

Needless to say that I returned from my holiday to find out that Lee Bowyer and James Milner, two players I intended to dispose of, were loaned out at the end of June with no recall provision. Let’s do the math, end of June plus three months equals I stuck with the #$@$$#@ until January at the earliest! At least the reserve squad will be good.

Despite this minor setback, I was optimistic. The squad had vastly outperformed expectations last year and qualified for Champions League football this season. We had saved 10 million pounds of last year’s transfer budget to add to what I expected would be a generous allowance given our European qualification. Marc van Bommel was joining on a free and the only real meaningful loss from last season’s squad was Patrick Kluivert. Finally we were just under the wage budget so the board should be ecstatic.

As a result, there was a bounce in my step when I headed into our meeting with the chairman, Freddy Shepherd.

Shepherd: Good to see you boys back. I have great expectations for the season ahead, advancement in Europe and booking a place there for next season.

Me: That seems reasonable, but let’s remember that we played over our heads last season.

Alan: Bullocks, we should push for the quad this year!!

Me: Alan, hush. Now Mr Shepherd, the squad could use a little strengthening, I was hoping to discuss this season’s transfer budget.

Shepherd: Yes, I think a comfortable sum of £10 million should do you nicely.

Me: Given the £10 million we have left from last year’s budget I think we can add some real quality to the squad.

Shepherd: No, no, you misunderstand me, that’s £10 million total. We needed last year’s surplus to cover some expenses.

Me: So, what you’re telling me is that you’re basically giving me no new money despite the windfall profits the Champions League is sure to provide.

Shepherd: Well, aren’t we the ungrateful little wretch. What happened to the nice well-mannered gent we hired last season?

Me: I spent a year in England? Ha ha, okay maybe that wasn’t so funny. I suppose I can make do with the £10 million transfer budget but can I at least have an increased wage bill?

Shepherd: About that, in this new fiscal era we think it would be prudent if you could cut your wage bill by 20%, I’m sure it shouldn’t be too difficult…

I think that I blacked out again. The last thing that I remember is a red wave of rage washing over me. Alan assures me that I was not at my most eloquent as I disparaged the ancestry, mental faculties, and moral fortitude of our illustrious chairman. Alan assures me that he backed me up before security escorted us from the room but I have my doubts. I think he’s looking to push me out.

Now we had a big problem. We desperately needed to build if we were going to challenge in Europe this season but had little money or wage room to do it with. I asked Alan for his advice on how we could advance.

Alan: Ignore the stuffy old man, dump the malcontents, play the games.

Me: Alan, that stuffy old man is the boss and does get to set the rules.

Alan: Rules are made to be broken. Nobody really expects us to respect the wage budget…you didn’t really take him seriously did you? Oh wait, you’re Canadian, you wouldn’t dream of actually going against his wishes and risk offending him…

Me: $#@ off.

Alan: That’s the spirit!

Anyway, to make a long story short…

In
Cavenaghi (£4.5 m + 50% sell on)
Parker (£ 1.8m)
Pennant (£2.2 m)

Out
I couldn’t give the stiffs away! I tried, really!

Tekn50

Great story. Keep it going!

retired_nikoo

Thanks for the feedback, I was beginning to wonder if anyone was reading/enjoying the story. Hopefully, there will be lots more to come.

Preseason

Preseason was short given the need to qualify for the Champions League group stages. That said, there was enough time to experiment a little with both the diamond and current 4-5-1 formations. I have to say the diamond allowed us to play a more attractive brand of football but Alan and I agreed that caution was the order of the day and we would stick with the 4-5-1 that had served us so well. Oh, by the way, I took Alan’s advice and we are now £125,000 per week over the wage budget!

UEFA hates me, I’m sure of it. First we are paired against surprisingly strong Portugese competition in last years UEFA cup first round and now we are paired against…Olympiakos in Champions League Qualifying. I mean, who are they kidding? I’m sure the draw was rigged to stick it to the new guy… unless the committee had a higher opinion of my team than I thought and was secretly trying to stick it to the Greeks for having the audacity of wining the European Championship. Regardless, it certainly wasn’t going to be the cakewalk I expected.

Olympiakos 1 – 2 Newcastle

I really couldn’t be much happier. The boys fought hard in a hostile away match and pulled through nicely. Cavenaghi was a revelation, netting twice on his debut and we controlled the game confidently. Yet, once again in Europe we gave away a late goal that I really hope doesn’t come back to haunt us.



Newcastle 0 – 1 Olympiakos

Once again the team played well and limited opposing chances; however, Olympiakos scored after only 15 minutes to set up an incredibly tense atmosphere. The lads were tight in front of the home crowd, squandering far too many chances. Regardless, we held on and relied on a solid defensive performance to go through on away goals rule, but I’m worried about the readiness of the club for the Champions League proper. After the match, I made a visit to the team physician to get a prescription for some ulcer medication. I don’t know if I’ll survive a whole season of this!

The group stage was drawn and this time UEFA at least gave us a fighting chance. Valencia looked to be clear favourites and Basel seemed to be clear underdogs. I felt that we would fight it out with Werder Bremen for second.

August-September

The season started off very slowly for the club and we seemed to be lacking any semblance of challenging for the title this season. Following a 1-0 away loss to Everton, the club stumbled through a scoreless home draw with Tottenham and a 2-0 victory over Charlton; sure the results were decent but the football was anything but inspiring. I was already worried (yes, I do have a tendency to prematurely panic) about our season’s prospects. The schedule makers also did us no favours and I was daunted at our upcoming slate of games (away to Dortmund, Chelsea, and Man U and home to Arsenal and Valencia). At least we would know where the club stood at the end of this run.

The lads tried, they really did, but we were just that ounce of quality short. The results on the whole could have been worse but they sure could have been better. Particularly disturbing was the utter lack of offensive flair.

Dortmund 0 – 0 Newcastle
Newcastle2 – 2 Chelsea
Arsenal 3 – 0 Newcastle
Man U 2 – 0 Newcastle
Newcastle 0 – 0 Valencia

Blackburn 1 – 0 Newcastle (first half)

This was the straw that broke the camels back. At the half after being outshot 12-2 and generally putting in a workmanlike performance, the type that leaves you an unemployed workman, Alan and I tore into the team (okay Alan tore into them and I neurotically debated tactical adjustments with myself)

Alan: Listen here you pitiful excuses for men. You’ve grown fat, lazy, and complacent and I won’t stand for it!

Robert: Monsieur Alan, may I please be allowed to interrupt you for a moment…

Alan: No, Monsieur Laurent, you may not. You can sit your butt down on the bench where it’s going to stay for the rest of the year after that god-awful display.

Me: (ignored by everyone) Perhaps if we tried out the diamond…

Alan: Fernando, Shola, Leobong; why the hell do I work with you every day in training if you’re going to embarrass me?

Chorus of Young Strikers: But Alan, the service has been abysmal, I haven’t seen the ball in weeks!

Alan: Stop looking for the ball and go out and get it!

Me: (still talking to myself) it will generate more movement and attacking options, the striker won’t be so isolated…

Alan: That’s it, I’m leading us back out in place of Laurent, I’ll show you how its done.

Blackburn 1 – 3 Newcastle

The old man still had it in him. It was a magnificent display worthy of his younger days as Alan tossed the club on his back and carried it forward to victory. I’ll quietly suggest that the switch to the diamond played a part but let’s not take anything away from our brave captain who scored twice and set up the other. The diamond worked to perfection with crisp passing and real inventive flair. Needless to say the 4-5-1 was put away in the closet for late in games we had well in hand.

Champions League Action

Following our Blackburn victory it was time to turn our attentions once more to Europe for a home date with Basel. The squad eased to a comfortable 2-0 victory. Unfortunately, the boys grew too complacent and the return leg was a dreary 0-0 affair. I was in good spirits, currently in second in the group and yet to concede a goal in Europe.

Werder Bremen made the journey to St. James Park and were met our horde of screaming fans. Unfortunately, the Germans seemed unfazed by either the crowd or our new formation. They staunchly defended for the full ninety and seemed ready to emerge with a well deserved 0-0 draw before substitute Leobong Mokoena charged onto a beautifully weighted long pass by Faye to slot home. The crowd was beside itself with glee and Mokoena heard his name chanted by the faithful for the first (but certainly not last) time.

Going into the final tie, Valencia stood atop the group with 10 points followed by us with 9, Dortmund with 8 and Basel with 1. Despite not conceding in Europe over 5 games the club was still faced with the likely need to secure maximum points away to Valencia since Dortmund would almost certainly emerge victorious against the overmatched Basel. Would I never catch a break in Europe? No. The squad was outmatched by a fine Spanish squad and were downed through two driven long shots by Baraja.

The dressing room was surprisingly upbeat following the match. We had performed well at football’s highest level and done the club proud. I had no regrets and made sure the lads knew I appreciated their efforts and anticipated great things for the rest of the season. Besides, at this stage of development a UEFA cup run seemed more realistic than the challenges that would await in the knockout round of the Champions League.

The draw was held and Alan and I shared a pint while we awaited our next European opponent. I was quietly confident that we would be able to handle whatever lesser European side we were set against. I didn’t count on the capricious nature of UEFA. Our next opponent would be…Parma! You have to be %$^#*$& kidding me!